


Stolen glances and sighs of defeat

by Anne_Hathagay



Series: Only The Good Love Young [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Autistic Josh Constantine, Bisexual Rachel Berry, Brittany has Autism and Dyslexia, F/F, Girl Penis Brittany, Girl Penis Santana, Lesbian Brittany S. Pierce, Lesbian Santana Lopez, Multi, Pansexual Quinn Fabray, Poly Unholy Trinity + Rachel, Polyamory Negotiations, Quinn is working through her anxiety for Beth, Rachel has OCD, Santana has anger management issues, Smut, but she’s soft for Rachel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 49,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Hathagay/pseuds/Anne_Hathagay
Summary: The sequel to I Always Knew it’s You after realising that maybe she doesn’t just love Brittany but is she strong enough to say it or will she walk away from this year with a sight of defeatWritten in my strange style I which anything said by or around Brittany is in the book and I’ll be avoiding adult storylines if I can
Relationships: Quinn Fabray/Brittany S. Pierce, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Santana Lopez/Rachel Berry
Series: Only The Good Love Young [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706866
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Auditions

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys welcome back to only the good love young so Beth is gonna be in this story which also mean no Skank Quinn or at let’s not because of Beth but that’s for later anyway here’s the first chapter.

Chapter 1 Auditions

“How has your relationship and life changed since the birth of your daughter?” Jacob ask the the two blonde girls as they stand there with their daughter

“Well I’m really happy to be back and I’m really to start fresh.” Quinn smiles as Brittany rock the pr back and forth 

“Babe I’ll meet you in class Beth pooped again.” Brittany says

“Brittany remembers the wider bit goes at the back.” Quinn calls after the taller blonde gir

“All right kiddo now your mom said the big end goes at the back.” She says pulling a diaper out of the bag and pulling the dirty one off and using the wipes to wipe the excess away putting it all in a nappy sack she tosses it in the bin and puts fresh one on “there we go all clean.” She says looking at the smiling girl. “Now let’s go find mom.” She says putting her back into the pram as they walk down the hall.

“Hey babe.” Brittany says walking back down the hall

“Did you…?” Quinn says

“Put the diaper on the right way? You can check yourself.” She says handing their daughter to her checking the diaper to discover it to be the right way she looks shocked “surprised?” Brittany says folding her arms

“Pleasantly surprised.” Quinn says nodding her head “ready to go to class?” They walk off each putting a hand on the pram.

“These are comments from Jacob Ben Israel’s most recent Glee Club post. ‘Glee is a giant ball of suck.’ Or ‘tell the English one to get a haircut.’ This is not good for our rep.”

“Look we get it Mr Shue. Everyone still hates us. So what? So we’re plankton on the high school food chain. Only difference now is that none of us really care.” Kurt say

“Kurts right. We’re a family. They can bring it all they want. None of it is gone break us.”

“I’m happy that you guys have bonded. The problem is that all this negative stuff is keeping other students from auditioning.” Mr Shue says

“Good why do we need new members?” Tina says

“Well since Matt transferred we have 13 members and they changed to rules from 12 members to 14 members. So if we wanna go to Nationals if we wanna beat Vocal Adrenaline we need some new blood.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Schuesters right you guys. You didn’t see Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals they were epic. We’re gonna need more voices to beat them.” Rachel says

“Yeah I’m with Rachel on this one.” Santana says standing up.

“You’re gonna have to trust me on this one you guys. Now heres the plan. Nationals are in New York this year. And we are going. Now let’s go out there show the school how call we can be. If they’re not gonna come to us, let’s go to them. They say we only sing show tunes and ‘80s pop and ‘70s and ‘80 rock. Let’s show them how down we are. Let’s give ‘em the song of the year, New Directions style.” Mr Shue says

“Hey Mr Shue can you watch Beth at lunch so we can do this?” Quinn asks as she and Brittany walk over

“Sure is there I need?” Mr Shue ask

“No no I’ll feed her before hand and she’ll probably be asleep.” Quinn says

At lunch

The New Directions set a boombox down in the courtyard

“Yeah I’m out that Brooklyn, now I’m down in Tribeca  
Right next to Deniro, but I’ll be hood forever  
I’m the new Sinatra, and since I made it here  
I can make it anywhere, yeah they love me everywhere  
I used to cop in Harlem, all of my Dominicano’s  
Right there up on Broadway, pull me back to that McDonald’s  
Took it to my stashbox, 560 State Strett  
Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons with them pastries”

“Eight million stories, out there in it naked  
City is a pity, half of y’all won’t make it  
Me, I got a plug, Special Ed “I Got It Made”  
If Jesus payin’ Lebron, I’m payin’ Dwayne Wade  
Three dice cee-lo, three card molly  
Labour Day Parade, rest in peace Bob Marley”

“New York  
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There’s nothin’ you can’t do  
Now you’re in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York”

“One hand in the air for the big city  
Streetlights, big dreams, all lookin’ pretty  
No place in the world that could compare  
Put your lighters in the air  
Everybody say “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah”

“New York  
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There’s nothin’ you can’t do  
Now you’re in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York” the song ends and the group looks confused as to why everyone hasn’t started clapping

Two days later

Quinn walks down the hall “babe you got back in the Cheerios.” Brittany says with Beth attached to her chest

“Yep and we are gonna rule this school.” Quinn says kissing first Beth in the head and then Brittany hard on the lips “I love you Britt-Britt.” Quinn says

“I love you too Quinney.” She says returning the kiss before they rub their noses together then Beth starts crying. 

“I’ll take her.” Quinn says ducking into an empty classroom to feed her.

At rehearsal

Everyone stares at the clock

“Well hate to break it to you but it doesn’t look like anyone’s gonna be joining us. So it think we should just call it a day.” Rachel says

“Hold on. We said 3::0 to 5:00 it’s only 4:58.” Mr Shue says gesturing to the clock will Quin songs softly to Beth before setting her in the pram with her baby blanket

“Just wait my buddy Sams gonna try out. He totally idolises me.” Finn says

“Face it Finn your not the quarterback any more mate. You’re not the pied piper anymore. No ones gonna follow your around thing everything you do is cool.” Josh says walking out the door.

“Hi I’m Sunshine Corazon, and I’ll be singing listen from the movie Dreamgirls.” Sunshine says giving a nervous smile

“Broadway show first.” Rachel says

“Shut up.” Somebody says

“Listen to the song here in my heart  
A melody I start but can't complete”

“Listen to the sound from deep within  
It's only beginning to find release”

“Oh the time has come for my dreams to be heard  
They will not be pushed aside and turned  
Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen”

“Listen  
I am alone at a crossroads  
I'm not at home in my own home  
And I've tried and tried  
To say what's on my mind  
You should have known oh  
Now I'm done believing you  
You don't know what I'm feeling  
I'm more than what  
You've made of me  
I followed the voice, you gave to me  
But now I've gotta find my own  
You should have listened”

“I don't know where I belong  
But I'll be moving on  
If you don't, if you won't”

“Listen to the song here in my heart  
A melody I start, but I will complete”

“OH now I am done believing you  
You don't know not what I am feeling  
I'm more than what you've made of me  
I followed the voice you think you gave to me”

“But now I got to find my own  
My Own” everyone whoops as Sunshine finishes her song.

“Wow.” Mr Shue says chuckling. “”Welcome to the Glee Club.”

Quin and Brittany are lying on the floor with Beth. “I’ve gotta be honest I’ve missed it just being the three of us.” Quinn says out of the blue

“So do I. Oh man that is raunchy.” Brittany says sniffing the air tracing the source back to Beth. Pick the young girl up “your turn.” She says holding her out.


	2. Britney/Brittany

Chapter 2 Britney/Brittany

“All right who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?” Mr Shue says

“He discovered America.” Brittany says

“No honey. That’s Christopher Columbus. Good try though” Quinn says 

“However he did right an iconic chart topper ‘Sailing’.” Mr Shue says

“I have a bad feeling about this lesson.” Kurt whispers to Mercedes

“Never heard of him, don't wanna hear about him.” Tina says

“Now some people think the term easy listening is a bad thing. But I’m gonna let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga, The Rolling Stones, Queen and Linkin Park and you guys are really good at putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn’t have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you.” Mr Shue says

“But Mr Shue I’m a punk. I love anarchy and being out of control. This.” Josh says pointing at the sheet music “this is in control. I need to see out of control.” He says folding his arms “oh that’s quite actually.” He says sitting back up

“Yes punk is about that but we can’t always be doing songs about anarchy and death to the system sometimes we need to be in the system.” Mr Shue says

“How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? There like a hundred miles apart.” Finn says

“Actually 406,486 km apart.” Brittany says everyone looks at her confused about how the girl who said so many dumb things new the furthest distance between the moon and New York City.

“Babe are you feeling okay?” Quinn asks 

“Yeah fine.” Brittany says

“Mr Shue? If I may. I think I speak for all of us when I say it’s not that we don’t love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it’s just as teens and punks this isn’t the easiest thing to listen to. However there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demands that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by… wait for it… Ms Britney Spears.” Kurt says

Everyone agrees with Kurt “no no no. Kurt I don’t think she’s a very good role model.” Mr Shue says

“But Mr Shue we kind of grew up with her.” Rachel says 

“She’s literally why I want to become a performer.” Tina says 

“I don’t wanna do Britney.” Brittany says 

“Why no Britney, Brittany?” Kurt asks

“Because my name is also Brittany Spears.” She says everyone looks at Brittany.

“What?!” Mr Shue questions

“What the hell is she talking about?” Mercedes asks

“”My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. ‘Brittany Spierce’. I’ve loved my entire life in Britney Spears shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you’ll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.” Brittany says before turning to tickle Beth's chin, making her giggle. “Who’s a happy baby? You are yes you are.” Brittany says reaching in and scooping up her daughter.

“Well there you have it guys. It’s been decided— no Britney. Sorry.” Mr Shue says shrugging his shoulders

“Thanks Britt thanks a lot.” Kurt says

“Don’t listen to uncle Kurt, he's just grumpy because he didn’t get what he wanted.” Brittany says cooing at her daughter

“Don’t use my niece against me Pierce.” Kurt grumbles angrily

“All right so here’s the deal. You chew this little capsule. Now if there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue.” Carl says. “This guy he’s pretty easy on the eyes too huh? And you know what no matter how hard I tried I bet I couldn’t sing and dance like him.” 

“Uh probably not.” Mr Shue says

“All right let's take a look at those chompers huh? Be fore we chew I would just like to alert Mr Shue that there’s a new addition to the Britney Spears Facebook campaign.” Kurt says

“Sorry. The answer’s still no. Capsules guys.” Mr Shue says

“Yes chew away. Chew chew.” Miss Pilsbury says

Everyone has clear teeth and the Santana turns to look at Rachel and jumps back like she’s been electrocuted

“Oh my god!” Kurt yells

“What?” Rachel says pulling out her pocket mirror. “Ahh!” She yells when she sees her blue teeth in the mirror

“It’s okay baby.” Santana soothes

“I don’t understand. I floss between classes.” Rachel says taking her hand away

“Well sometimes it’s genetics.” Carl says

“I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.” Artie says smiling sheepishly

“I smashed my mirror to bug my grandma and then set my toothbrush on fire during one of my withdrawal fits.” Josh says

“There you go bluetooth.” Santana says 

“I don’t brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.” Brittany says

“No he is not, he's not even real babe.” Quinn says looking up from Beth to see Brittanys blue teeth

“I got this Em. With some deep bleaching or scaling, you’ll be as good as new. All right open up.” Carl says Brittany complys. He physically recoils at the site of Brittanys teeth. “Nah close.” He says she closes. “Close again.”

At the dentist office 

Quinn is sat with Beth on her lap on a chair in the corner while Brittany is lying under the lamp in the middle of the room. “This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.” Brittany says

“So Brittany you Uh you have the worst teeth I’ve ever seen. You have cavities in every single tooth. This has got to be some sort of record.” Carl says

“Please don't pull out all my teeth. My smile will make me look like my daughter Beth but with boobs.” Brittany says

“All right well I’m going to put you under a little general anaesthesia. You won’t feel a thing. She cute your daughter. You different below the belt?” Carl asks

“Yeah.” Brittany says

“I’ll put on Pandora…” Britneys I’m a slave 4 you started playing. “... and you just relax.”

“Oh no not Britney.” Brittany says as Carl puts the mask on

(A/N I’m not gonna be including hallucinations or visions in this book I know I did last time but fuck you its my book.)

“Brittany. Brittany, wake up.” Carl says bring her back round “all right now you're gonna feel a little nauseous.” Carl says

“I petted a snake.” Brittany slurs

“Mm. Rock on.” Carl says. I’m gonna have to see you tomorrow. You have 68 cavities. I couldn’t get them all today.”

“Can I have a blue toothbrush?” Brittany ask flexing her jaw. 

“I’ll give you a hundred toothbrushes.” Carl says

“Okay.” Brittany says

“Quinn don’t let her drive.” Carl says

“You betcha.” Quinn says standing up and attaching Beth to her chest

“Are you a cat?” Brittany asks on the drive home Brittany stared out of the window laughing at everything.

“So Santana I’m looking at your X-Rays and your charts. Your teeth are perfect.” Carl says

“That’s right.” Santana says looking at her nails as Quinn and Rachel sit in the corner playing with Beth on the floor.

“Well I can just put you in Eder. Anaesthesia isn’t something to joke about. It’s serious.” Carl says

“Okay listen my dad is a doctor. And not a ‘tooth doctor’ a real one. He, like, went to college or something. Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. So gets up in my grill ‘cause Britts and I wants to get our anesthesia on.” Santana says

“That’s totally cool.” Brittany says

“Hmm, okay, I guess I can give you a super strong bleaching.” Carl says. “Can I turn the radio on?” He asks

“We got it covered.” They both say

Santana jerks awake “...Making Christopher Cross a Golden Globe, Oscar and five time Grammy winner. Brittany.” Mr Shue says

“I would just like to say that from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club.” Brittany says

“What?” Mr Shue says looking confused

“When I had my teeth cleaned, I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realised what a powerful woman I truly am.” Brittany says

“I went with her and I had a Britney fantasy too. Although now that I’m thinking about it I’m not really sure how our fantasies combined. That doesn’t make any sense at all.” Santana says

“See Mr Shue? I told you. Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday fragmented haze of motherhood and confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform.” Kurt says

“I’m more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now.” Brittany says everyone is confused by this. “It’s Brittany bitch.”

“Guys we’re not doing Britney Spears and that’s that.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue you’re letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we all really want to do. I mean this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture. I mean we’ve done Queen, Kiss, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears is pop culture! To suggest otherwise is heretical!” Kurt yells

“Kurt!” Mr Shue snaps. “I’m done talking about this!”

“Geez! Let loose a little would you?! Stop being so frickin’ up tight all the time!” Kurt shoots back everyone is shocked by this

“Kurt I’ll see you in the Principal's office.” Mr Shue says pointing at the door

The next day

“Well babe congrats. Normally you dress to turn me off but today your look is making me incredibly aroused.” Santana says squirming in her seat as her erection is making her uncomfortable

Kurt stands up. “I think what Santana is trying to say Rachel, though I risk explusion by saying so, it seems that Britney Spears has really helped you blossom. That’s all.” Kurt says sitting back down again

“Wait Rachel is that true? I mean you are sort of dressing differently.” Mr Shue says

“Look all I have to say is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist, and since then it’s made me feel free to get out of my own way. I think I’ve just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl because I’ve never really felt like one before. Now I realise it’s okay to feel that way about yourself every now and again. And maybe it’s a good thing.” Not that Rachel would admit to everyone but her fantasies were not just Britney based but also Brittany, Santana and Quinn based as well was she in love with these two blonde bombshells she thought. No that was stupid she loved Santana didn’t she? She didn’t know anymore

“It’s such a good thing. I can’t believe it.” Brittany says

“William a word.” Sue says appearing in the doorway

“I was pretty sure Arties legs didn’t work.” Quinn says looking at the handicapped boy confused at why the boy was talking about being on the football team

“Did you get a leg transplant?” Brittany asks

“Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram.” Artie says with a smile on his face. 

“Yep there's no rules against it. We checked.” Finn says smiling ear to ear. 

“And I have Britney Spears to thank.” Artie says

“You’re welcome.” Brittany says then the silence of the moment was broken by the crying of Beth 

“Are you hungry baby girl?” Quinn asks picking the little girl out and ducking into the office and lowering the blinds to get some privacy

“Okay guys, listen up.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue if I may?” Kurt ask

“Kurt I overheard what you guys wet just talking about, and I know what you’re going to say. The answer is no. No I’m not going to stand in the way anymore. If you guys wanna do Britney at this year’s homecoming assembly I’m fine with it.” Mr Shue says everyone cheers at this. “I know. Oh… and more than that, I am going to be performing with you.” The cheering and chattering stops and everyone turns to look at Mr Shue he chuckles. “Right?”

“Baby, can't you see  
I'm calling  
A guy like you should wear a warning  
It's dangerous  
I'm falling”

“Too high  
Can't come down  
Losin' my head  
Spinnin' 'round and 'round  
Do you feel me now?”

“With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slippin' under  
With the taste of the poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?  
And I love what you do, don't you know that you're toxic?”

“It's gettin' late  
To give you up  
I took a sip  
From my devil's cup  
Slowly, it's taking over me”

“Too high  
Can't come down  
It´s in the air   
It´s all around  
Oh can you feel me now?l

“With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slippin' under  
With the taste of the poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?”

“Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now  
I think I'm ready now  
Intoxicate me now  
With your lovin' now  
I think I'm ready now  
I think I'm ready now  
I think I'm ready now”

Sue realises it’s getting out of control and pulls the fire alarm causing the student body to stampede down the bleachers.

Brittany and Quinn are repainting Beths nursery when Brittany flicks some paint off the end of her brush onto Quinn she screams “oh my god. Girl it is so on.” She says flicking paint at her and then painting done her arm

“Sounds like a challenge.” Brittany says picking up the pair roller and rolling paint all over her back “I’m incredibly turned on right now.” Brittany says kissing Quinn’s nose

At rehearsal the next day

“All right. Rachel?” Mr Shue says walking in

“I have a song that I’ve prepared for the class.” Rachel says

“Sorry Rachel no Britney. I’m really happy that her music has inspired so many of you, even if that inspiration was brought about by a dangerous narcotic. And I think we’ve all come to appreciate her music and celebrity so much more this week. But honestly she’s just not us.” Mr Shue says

“I’m devastated. I can’t believe we only did one Britney number.” Kurt says

“I was actually gonna do something from our original assignment last week — adult contemporary. But this is a little more young adult.” Rachel says

“Oh. Great Rachel. Well let’s hear it.” Mr Shue says offering her the floor

“I’d like to dedicate this song to my girlfriend Santana. I love you so so much.” Rachel says “when i was younger i saw   
my daddy cry  
and curse at the wind  
he broke his own heart   
and I watched  
as he tried to reassemble it  
and my momma swore   
that she would   
never let herself forget  
and that was the day that I promised   
I'd never sing of love   
if it does not exist”

“But Darlin...  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception”

“i've got a tight grip on reality  
but i can't let go of what's in front of me here  
i know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream oh oh oh.”

“you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception  
you are the only exception”

“and I'm on my way to believing  
oh and I'm on my way to believing”


	3. Grilled Cheesus

Chapter 3 Grilled Cheesus

“Mr Shue? I have something to say. Something happened to me, and I can’t really get into it but it’s shaken me to my core.” Finn says

“Oh my God he’s coming out.” Puck says

“Why yes there is a man who’s sort of recently come into my life and that man is Jesus Christ.” Finn says everyone is extremely confused by this statement 

“That’s way worse.” Puck says 

“And I know there’s others in here who dig him too. And so I thought, maybe this week, we could pay tribute to him in music. You know pay tribute to Jesus.” Finn says

“Sorry uh but if I wanted to sing about Jesus I’d go to church. And the reason I don’t go to church is because most churches don’t think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science.” Kurt says

“Amen brother.” Brittany says

“I don’t see anything wrong with a little church up in here.” Mercedes says

“I agree. I’ve had a really hard year, and I turned to God a lot for help. I for one wouldn’t mind saying thanks.” Brittany says

“Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.” Brittany says

“Well guys maybe our song selections don’t have to be about Jesus. We could do songs about spirituality.” Mr Shue says

“You got a problem with Jesus?” Finn says

“Oh I got no problem with the guy. I’m a total Kew for Jesus. He’s my number one Heb. What I don’t like seeing is people J-money to cramp everybody else’s style ‘cause it seems to me that true spirituality or whatever you wanna call it is about enjoying the life you’ve been given. I mean I see God every time I make out with a new chick.” Puck says

“Okay, okay, that doesn’t make any sense. In fact it’s stupid.” Rachel says

“Are you calling Mr Billy Joel stupid? This time I’d like to continue my streak of doing songs only by Jewish artists.” Puck asks “Come out Virginia, don't let me wait  
You Catholic girls start much too late  
Oh but sooner or later it comes down to fate  
I might as well be the one”

“Well they showed you a statue, told you to pray  
They built you a temple and locked you away  
Oh but they never told you the price that you pay  
For things that you might have done”

“Only the good die young  
That's what I said  
Only the good die young  
Only the good die young”

“You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation  
You got a brand new soul  
Hmmm and a cross of gold”

“Come out come out come out Virgina dont let me wait,  
You Catholic girls start much too late  
Sooner or later it comes down to fate  
I might as well be the one,  
You know that only the good die young”

Tina hugs Kurt who’s been sitting alone in the choir room “hey Kurt. We’re really sorry about your dad's heart attack.” Santana says sounding genuinely sincere

“Thanks Santana.” Kurt replies

“I did a book report on heart attacks, if you want to give it to the doctor. I got knocked down an entire letter grade ‘cause it was written in crayon.” Brittany says before sitting down and taking Beth out of the sling and putting her on her lap. The little girl was utterly confused by everything she knew however that Kurt was sad so she kept smiling at him. This seemed to cheer up Kurt a little bit.

“What the hell happened?” Finn asks storming in the room

“My dads in the hospital.” Kurt replies

“I know. My mom just called me. I feel like I’m the last one to know!” He yells

“Well I’m sorry Finn. It didn’t occur to me to call you because he’s not your father.” Kirt says

“Yeah well he’s the closest I’m ever going to get, okay? I know it may not look like what everyone else has, but I thought we were sort of a family. Look I guess I just I didn’t like overhearing other people talking about it in gym class” Finn says

“Hey guys. Our thoughts are all with Kurt and uh I know it’s sort of hard to focus on anything else.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue?” Mercedes says

“Yeah.” Mr Shue says

“I’ve been struggling trying to figure out what I wanted to say to Kurt all day, and I realised I don’t want to say it, I want to sing it.” Mercedes says Mr Shue gestures for her to take the floor. “This song is about being in a very dark place and turning to God.” Mercedes says handing the sheet music to brad the piano player. “It’s a spiritual song Mr Shue. Is that okay?” Mercedes asks

“It’s fine.” He answers

“Tina Quinn can you help me out please?” Mercedes says as Quinn hands Beth to Brittany

“As I lay me down  
Heaven hear me now  
I'm lost without a cause  
After giving it my all”

“Winter storms have come  
And darkened my sun  
After all that I've been through  
Who on earth can I turn to?”

“I look to you,  
I look to you  
After all my strength is gone  
In you I can be strong  
I look to you,  
I look to you  
And when melodies are gone In you I hear a song  
I look to you”

“Thank you Mercedes.” Kirt says finally speaking. “But I don’t believe in God.” Kurt says

“Wait what?” Tina says looking at him as she climbs back into her seat

“You’ve all professed your beliefs. I'm just stating mine. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise God’s kinds of a jerk, isn’t he? I mean he make me gay and then has his followers going around telling me that’s something I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don’t want a Heavenly Father. I want my real one back.” Kurt says

“But Kurt how do you know for sure? I mean you can’t prove there’s no God.” Mercedes says

“You can’t prove that there isn’t a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs but it seems pretty unlikely doesn’t?” Kurt says

“But Kurt there isn’t any evidence that the horned beast existed and yet there are myths and legends of him right across history Daemos the Greek god of fear and Satan beelzebub and Lucifer. But yet people worship these demons all the time as gods why God is any different from Satan.” Josh says

“We shouldn’t be talking about this. It’s not right.” Quinn snaps 

“I’m sorry Quinn. But you can all believe what you want to. But I can’t believe something I don’t. I appreciate your thoughts, but I don’t want your prayers.” Kurt says walking out of the choir room.

“Last week we were too sexy, this week we’re too religious we can’t win.” Tina says

“Now I know what Miley feels like.” Brittany says

“The real tragedy is that I have found the most perfect spiritual song to sing this week, and now it’s been torn away from me like Sophie’s daughter.” Rachel says

“Guys you can still sing or play whatever songs you like.” Mr Shue says as Josh stands and plugs his guitar in

“This is my little slice of Britain. A one two a one two three four.” Josh says. “Oooh yeah”

“Get your party gown  
Get your pigtail down  
Get your heart beating baby  
Got my timing right  
I got my act all tight  
It's got to be tonight  
My little school babe  
Your momma says you don't  
And your daddy says you won't  
And I'm boiling up inside  
No way I'm going to lose out this time”

[Chorus]  
Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
Lock your daddy out of doors  
I don't need him nosing around  
Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
Give me all your love tonight

“You're such a dirty louse  
Go get out of my house  
That's all I ever get from you  
Ain't your family ties, in fact I don't think I ever heard  
A single little civil word  
From those guys  
But you know I don't give a light  
I'm going to make out all right  
I've got a sweetheart hand  
To put a stop to all that  
Snipin' and grousin' goin' on”

“Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
Send your brother swimming with a brick  
That's alright  
Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
She ain't no friend of mine  
She ain't no friend of mine”

[Guitar Solo]

“Your momma and your daddy going to  
Plague me until I die  
Why can't they understand I'm just a  
Peace loving guy”

“Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
Get that big, big, big, big, big, big  
Daddy out the door  
Tie your mother down  
Tie your mother down  
Give me all your love tonight  
All your love tonight”

“All your love tonight  
All your love tonight  
All your love tonight  
Hey!  
All your love tonight  
Give me those cymbals!”

“Sorry but how is that song spiritual?” Mr Shue asks

“I have a very deep connection to this song my dad played whenever I couldn’t sleep. So it’s my way of remembering my dad.” Josh says

“I know things have been pretty morose around here this past week, but I want to celebrate some good news for our little family. Let’s hear it for Finn on getting back his quarterback job and leading a Titan to a win in their second game of the season.” Mr Shue says clapping

“Yeah, too bad that Sam kid had to have his arm basically ripped off for it to happen but it’s good to have you back in the saddle brother.” Puck says. Then Kurt stands up

“Mr Shue if I may? Um I wanted to thank everyone for your kind emails and queries about my dad, but for your information his condition remains the same. I need to express myself so with your permission, Mr Shue I’ve prepared a number for the occasion.” Kurt says

“Of course Kurt.” Mr Shue says

“On the day of my mom's funeral when they were lowering her body into the ground I was crying. I mean that was it. It was the last time I was ever going to see her and I remember I looked up at my dad and I, just wanted him to say something, just something to make me feel like my whole world wasn’t over, and he just took my hand and squeezed it. And just knowing those hands where there to take care of me was enough. This is for my dad.” Kurt says. “Yeah, I'll tell you something  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll say that something  
I wanna hold your hand”

“I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand”

“Oh please, say to me  
You'll let me be your man  
And please, say to me  
You'll let me hold your hand”

“Now let me hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand”

“And when I touch you, I feel happy inside  
It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide  
I can't hide, I can't hide”

“Yeah, you've got that something  
I think you'll understand  
When I'll feel that something  
I wanna hold your hand”

“I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand.” He finishes wiping the tears from his eyes

“I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing  
I think I thought I saw you try”

“That was just a dream  
That was just a dream”

“I thought we couldn’t sing songs about religion.” Tina says

“Evidently we can’t sing about faith but we can do about losing faith?” Mercedes says

“That’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you guys about today. Earlier in the week Finn it seemed like you felt differently.” Me Shue says

“Well I used to think that God was up there looking over me. Now I’m not so sure.” Finn says slipping his hand in his pockets

“If God had a name, what would it be?  
And would you call it to His face?  
If you were faced with Him in all His glory  
What would you ask if you had just one question?”

“And yeah, yeah, God is great  
Yeah, yeah, God is good  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”

“What if God was one of us?  
Just a slob like one of us  
Just a stranger on the bus  
Trying to make His way home  
Trying to make His way home”


	4. Duets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note smut at the end of this chapter so don’t like don’t read

Chapter 4 Duets

“All right, let's gather round. Sorry I’m late guys. I was with Principal Figgins. Bad news guys. Puckermans in Juvvie.” Mr Shue says sitting down

“It really was just a matter of time.” Tina says

“What did he do?” Quinn asks

“He drove his moms Volvo through the front of the convenience store, and drove off with the ATM.” Mr Shue says everyone laughs at this

“And when is he getting out?” Rachel asks

“Unknown.” Mr Shue says

“He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that’s coming from me.” Brittany says 

“Guys! Let’s have some sympathy.” Mr Shue says

“For a guy who puts his needs before the team’s? We need his voice and his and his bad boy stage presence.” Finn says whining

“We can’t look at this as, as a crisis. It’s an opportunity.” Mr Shue says

“For what? Further embarrassment and humiliation?” Quinn snaps

“For welcoming our new member… Sam Evans! There he is.” Mr Shue says gesturing to the door. “How’s it going?” Mr Shue asks as Sam jogs into the choir room. 

“Hey everybody. I’m Sam. Sam … I am. And I don’t like green eggs and ham.” He says 

“Oh wow he has no game.” Santana says to Rachel

“Okay! This is gonna be great. You’re not gonna regret joining Sam.” Finn says laughing standing up and shaking his hand and gesturing to where he should sit

“All right! Question for the group. What’s a duet?” Mr Shue asks

“A blanket.” Brittany says

“A duet is when two voices join to become one.” Mr Shue says

“Or when two people perform on stage together like is this the world that we created or love of my life. Or when two voices blend to create a bounce sound on a note like Seven Seas of Rhye.” Josh says. “Here I’ll a dementration.” Josh says standing up and picking up his guitar. “Fynn mind to lend a hand?” he says sitting on a stool

“Sure.” Fynn says standing up.

“Fear me you lords and lady preachers  
I descend upon your earth from the skies  
I command your very souls you unbelievers  
Bring before me what is mine  
The seven seas of Rhye”

“Can you hear me you peers and privy counselors  
I stand before you naked to the eyes  
I will destroy any man who dares abuse my trust  
I swear that you'll be mine  
The seven seas of Rhye”

“Sister - I live and lie for you  
Mister - do and I'll die  
You are mine I possess you  
I belong to you forever”

“Storm the master-marathon I'll fly through  
By flash and thunder-fire I'll survive  
Then I'll defy the laws of nature and come out alive  
Then I'll get you”

“Be gone with you - you shod and shady senators  
Give out the good, leave out the bad evil cries  
I challenge the mighty titan and his troubadours  
And with a smile  
I'll take you to the seven seas of Rhye”

“Well there we go a perfect example of what I’m looking for so pair up and the winners will get dinner for two at Breastixs.” Mr Shue says

“Breadstixs!” Tina shouts

[SANTANA]  
Don't go breaking my heart

[RACHEL]  
“I couldn't if I tried”

[SANTANA]  
“Oh, honey if I get restless”

[RACHEL]  
“Baby you're not that kind”

[SANTANA]  
“Don't go breaking my heart”

[RACHEL]  
“You take the weight off of me”

[SANTANA]  
“Oh, Honey when you knock on my door”

[RACHEL]  
“Ooh I gave you my key”

[SANTANA & RACHEL]  
“Ooh Ohh  
Nobody knows it”

[SANTANA]  
“When I was down”

[RACHEL]  
“I was your clown”

[SANTANA & RACHEL]  
“Ooh ooh  
Nobody knows it”

[SANTANA]  
“Right from the start”

[RACHEL]  
“I gave you my heart  
Ohhhh oh  
I gave you my heart”

[SANTANA]  
“So don't go breaking my heart”

[RACHEL]  
“I won't go breaking your heart”

[SANTANA & RACHEL]  
“Don't go breaking my heart”

[SANTANA]  
“And nobody told us”

[RACHEL]  
“'Cause nobody showed us”

[SANTANA]  
And now it's up to us babe”

[RACHEL]  
“Ooh, I think we can make it”

[SANTANA]  
“So don't misunderstand me”

[RACHEL]  
“You put the light in my life”

[SANTANA]  
“Oh, you put the sparks to the flame”

[RACHEL]  
“I've got your heart in my sights”

[SANTANA & RACHEL]  
“Ohh Ohh  
Nobody knows it”

“We’re totally gonna win this thing.” Santana says

“I know.” Rachel answers

“Well. Don’t be sad. I mean Breadstixs have these vegan meatballs they’re… they’re okay.” Santana says

“I’m not really a nice person. I’m selfish. The fact is I’m only really generous if there’s something in it for me.” Rachel says

“Yeah but I still like you.” Santana says

“But you’re so open and you don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of you. Well it’s made me want to be a better person. We have to throw the competition.” Rachel says

“But Breadstixs.” Santana whines

“Santana Marie Lopez wipe that look off your face look at Quinn and Brittany they need a break from Beth. We can offer to babysit Beth for them.” Rachel says

“Okay I guess we could babysit Beth for one night.”

“Next we have Mercedes and Sam with River Deep Mountain High.” Mr. Shue says

“When I was a little girl I had a rag doll  
Only doll I've ever owned  
Now I'll love you just the way I loved that rag doll  
But only now my love has grown”

“And it gets stronger in every way  
And it gets deeper. Let me say  
And it gets higher day by day”

“Do I love you? My, oh, my  
River-deep, mountain-high, yeah, yeah, yeah  
If I lost you would I cry  
Oh, how I love you baby, baby, baby, baby”

“I love you, baby, like a flower loves the spring  
I love you, baby, like a robin loves to sing  
And I love you, baby, like the schoolboy loves his pet  
And I love you, baby, river-deep, mountain-high”

“Oh, baby  
Oh, baby  
Oh, baby”

“Do I love you? My, oh, my  
River-deep, mountain-high! Yeah, yeah, yeah  
If I lost you would I cry?  
Oh, how I love you, baby, baby, baby, baby”

“Wow Sam Mercedes nice work. What an incredible song.” Mr Shue says giving the two a high five

“Just so you know we already bought custom bibs for me and Sam here.” Mercedes says as they sit back down

“The rest of you got your work cut out for you because Josh Fynn, that was a strong contender to your duet interpretation of Queens ‘Seven Seas of Rhye’ So everyone get to work.” Mr Shue says

Okay guys so … who is up first today?” Mr Shue asks

“Mr Shue if I may?” Kurt says putting his hand up

“You may.” He says slightly puzzled

“As may do you know I had a duet partner but due to sensitivities I’d rather not get into at the moment that partnership had dissolved.” Kurt says

“Okay so who are you singing a duet with?” Mr Shue asks

“Only the most talented member of the glee club — myself. When you’re different when you’re special, sometimes you have to get used to being alone. I’ve asked a few members of the glee club as well as the Cheerios to help me out.” Kurt says

“How can you do a duet by yourself? Isn’t that like vocal masturbation?” Santana asks

“I will be doing a number from the seminal classic movie Victor/Victoria. It’s a show about embracing both the male and the female sides. Watch and learn Santana.” Kurt says. “'Bout twenty years ago  
Way down in New Orleans  
A group of fellers found  
A new kind of music  
And they decided to call it...JAZZ  
No other sound has  
What this music has”

“Before they knew it  
It was whizzing round the world  
The world was ready  
For a blue kind of music  
And now they play it  
From Steamboat Springs to La Paz”

“Oh baby, won't you play me  
Le Jazz Hot maybe  
And don't ever let it end  
I tell you, friend  
It's really something to hear  
I can't sit still  
When there's that rhythm near me”

“When you play me  
Le Jazz Hot baby  
You're holding my soul together  
Don't know whether it's morning or night  
Only know it's sounding right  
So come on in and play me  
Le Jazz Hot baby  
Cause I love... my jazz hot  
Le Jazz Hot”

“Le Jazz Hot”

“Le Jazz Hot”

“Whenever you’re ready guys.” Mr Shue says sounding impatient

“”Yeah hurry up I needs to get myself to Breadstixs.” Santana says

“Don’t count on it. I’m still mad at you but you're still so hot.” Brittany says to Santana which confused everyone in the room   
“See I really couldn't sing  
I could never really sing”

“What I couldn't do was...  
...Sing!  
I have trouble with a...  
..Note.  
It goes all around my...  
..Throat.  
It's a terrifying...  
...Thing.”

“See, I really couldn't hear”

“Which note was lower or was...  
...Higher  
If someone says, "Let's start a...  
...Choir”

“Hey, when I begin to...  
...Squeak.  
It's a cross between a...  
...Shreik.  
And a quiver or a...  
..Moan.  
It's a little like a...  
...Croak.  
Or the record player...  
...Broke.  
What its doesn't have is...  
...Tone.”

“Oh I know you're thinking”

“What a crazy...  
...Dingaling.  
But I really couldn't...  
...Sing.  
I could never really...  
...Sing.  
What I couldn't do was...  
...Sing!”

“But what I lack in pitch I sure”

“Make up in...  
...Power.”

“And all my friends say I am  
Perfect for the  
Shower.”

“Still, I'm terrific at a...  
...Dance.  
Guys are comin' in their...  
...Pants.  
I'm a birdie on the...  
...Wing  
But when I begin to...  
...Chirp.  
They say, "who's the little...  
...Twerp  
...Goin' 'pong' instead of...  
...Ping”.

“And when Christmas comes and  
All my friends go...  
Caroling,”

“It is so dishearten...  
...-Ning.  
It is so disquiet...  
...-Ting.  
It is so discourag...  
...-Ging  
Darling, please stop answer...  
..-Ring!”

“See, I really couldn't...  
...Sing.  
I could never really...  
...Sing.  
What I couldn't do was…”

“Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do Do, ti, la, sol, fa, mi, re, do”

“La La… La La…”

“Sing, sing Sing a sing a sing sing Sing, sing Sing, Sing...Sing. Sing!”

“Wow. Now that was a duet! Thank you Tina for introducing us to the amazing voice of Mike Chang!” Mr Shue says

“Come give me your sweetness (Ohh, ohh)  
Now there's you, there is no weakness (Now there's you, there is no weakness)  
Lying safe within your arms  
I'm born again (Woman, don't you know with you I'm born again)”

“I was half, not whole  
In step with none  
Reaching through this world  
In need of one  
Come show me your kindness  
In your arms I know I'll find this  
(Woman), don't you know  
With you I'm born again  
Lying safe with you I'm born again”  
As Santana and Rachel finish Mike slow claps with an angry look on his face

“Okay do I even need to say it?” Mercedes says

“That was really rude.” Sam says chuckling

“It was really rude.” Tina adds

“I mean Seven Seas of Rhye is about a corrupt government and I thought that was rude.” Josh says 

“I seriously wanted to punch both of you.” Quinn says

“I have to agree. It’s a great duet, but what you guys did with it was really inappropriate. Your costume choice was a little insensitive. Frankly… I’m disappointed.” Mr Shue says shaking his head

“What?” Rachel questions

“”Are you serious? I’m … shocked.” Santana says

“We’re incredibly shocked.” Rachel says. “I really hope this doesn’t cost us the competition.” Rachel continues.“Hey let’s sit down.” She says leading Santana back to their seats

“Well getting back on track, who's next?” Mr Shue asks. Quinn and Brittany stand up. “And what are you guys performing?” Mr Shue asks

“In The Lap of The Gods Revisited.” Brittany says

“Let’s hear it then.” Mr Shue says

“It's so easy, but I can’t do it  
So risky, but I got to chance it  
It's so funny, there's nothing to laugh about  
My money, that’s all you want to talk about  
I can see what you want me to be  
But I'm no fool”

“It's in the lap of the Gods  
Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It’s in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I’m no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods” everyone claps as they finish

“Okay let’s vote.” Mr Shue says

Everyone almost unanimously vote for Brittany and Quinn

“I’m really glad we won and that we got a night out just the two of us.” Quinn says raising her glass

“To a night out as not parents.” Brittany says clinking her glass against Quinn’s

“Ma’am’s what are you having today.” The waiter asks

“I think I’ll start with a garlic bread for myself to start and my lovely lady will have?” Brittany says

“I think I will have the halloumi fries to start with and the for the main I think we’ll share a bowl of spaghetti.” Quinn says closing her menu

As there eating they try to eat the same strand of pasta and end up kissing they blush

When they arrive to the house and walk up to Beths nursery to see Santana sat on the floor with Beth on her lap reading ‘Whatever Next’ to Beth with Rachel’s head on her shins.

They stand in the doorway until they are spotted by the other lesbian couple on the floor 

“Who knew the great Santana Lopez would be clay in the hands of a 6 month old.” Quinn says as she picks up her daughter and sets her in the crib and sets the mobile going

“Sweet dreams baby girl.” Brittany says as the four walk out the door as she switches off the light

“You tell anyone what you saw and I’ll deny it.” Santana says as they walk out of the door

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow ladies.” Brittany says closing the door behind the two of them

As she turned around she saw Quinn at the top of the stairs wearing a blue short nightdress. “Come on I want you to make me feel special.” Quinn says in her best sexy voice

“Oh hell yes.” Brittany says taking the stairs two at a time

As she walks into their bedroom she sees Quinn lying on the bed Brittany is already devoid of shirt having hung that on the back of the door she pulls off her jeans leaving her just her boxers and bra she unclips her bra and steps over to Quinn. “If you want me to stop, just say and I will.” Brittany says staring in her blonde girlfriends green eyes 

“I’m ready.” Quinn says slipping her panties off.

“Okay.” Then as Brittany pulls her boxers down to mid thigh she pushes into Quinn slowly she moans slowly she builds a rhythm then she feels Quinn pussy clamp around her cock as she feels herself bottom out inside Quinn. She was really glad Quinn was on the pill now she loved Beth and all but she didn’t need another 9 months of constant threats of castrations. The. She pulls out and tucked Quinn head under her chin her big soon protecting Quinn from the world


	5. Rocky Horror Glee Show

Chapter 5 Rocky Horror Glee Show

“In the velvet darkness of the blackest night  
Burning bright, there's a guiding star  
No matter what or who you are.”

“There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place  
There's a light burning in the fireplace  
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.”

Then Carl walks on stage. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Schuester you messing with my woman?” He asks walking on stage 

“I…” Mr Shue stutters

“I thought we had a deal.” Carl says

“So what are you gonna be for Halloween this year? But more specifically what is my little niece gonna be for her first Halloween?” Kurt asks

“Well Quinn and I have two costumes we’re gonna be the Wicked Witch of the West, Dorothy and Toto from the Wizard of Oz. And then for the Halloween party me Quinn Santana and Rachel are going as Shaggy Fred Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo.” Brittany says

“Great news guys. I’ve had a little inspiration. This week's musical lesson isn’t really a lesson. It’s a musical.” Mr Shue says. “We’re doing Rocky Horror.” Mr Shue says

“I’ve never seen it.” Finn says

“Mr Shue next year can we do We Will Rock You?” Josh asks

“Maybe.” He answers

“Mr Shue?” Rachel says

“Yep?” He answers 

“While I admire your choice of the groundbreaking ‘70s musical, aren’t you worried the adult themes might be a point of controversy?” Rachel asks

“Seriously. A school in Texas couldn’t even do Rent. It caused an outrage and they had to cancel the show.” Kurt says

“Isn’t that the whole point of the arts? Pushing boundaries doing things people say you can’t do for the sake of self expression. I got it all figured out. I cut out some of the more risqué sections. And I’m sending home permission slips to all your parents to make sure that they’re okay with it.” Mr Shue says handing them out

“Mr Shue can I just get Judy to sign it? I don’t really talk to my parents anymore after they criticised mine and Quinn’s parenting style.” Brittany says

“Sure Brittany. And we are going to charge admission and use the proceeds to help pay for transportation to Nationals in New York.” Mr Shue says

“Okay let’s talk casting.” Mr Shue says

“I’ll play Janet.” Rachel says 

“I’ll play Brad.” Finn says

“And I’ll be playing the guy in the wheelchair right?” Artie asks

“That’s what I was thinking.” Me Shue says

“I’ll play the music. I can’t act to save my life. At my old school we did Rocky Horror and I played the transvestite and I had a panic attack opening night.” Josh says

“I thought Kurt could play the role of Frank-N-Furter.” Mr Shue says

“No. There’s no way I’m playing a transvestite in high heels and fishnets and wearing lipstick.” Kirt says

“Why? Cause that look was last season?” Santana asks

“I’ll do it.” Mike says 

“Really?” Tina says looking at him. “It’s like the male lead.” 

“I know but I’m feeling a little more confident about my song voice after our duets project.” Mike says looking at Tina

“Great! I have no problem with that.” Mr Shue says

“Now we’re a little short on female roles, so we’re gonna double up on Columbians and Magenta’s.” Mr Shue says

“It’s standard practice on Broadway. It’ll preserve your voices.” Rachel says

“I’d like to preserve you. In a jar. In my basement.” Mercedes says

“Sam. I’d like you to play the role of the Creature.” Mr Shue says

“From the Black Lagoon?” Sam asks

“Rocky mate. He’s like the Frankenstein character but blonde you’ll be perfect.” Josh says

“Better start working on those abs.” Santana says

“Are you kidding me? You could cut glass with these babies. I’ve no problem showing off my body.” Sam says

“Okay. Looks like we have ourselves a show.” Mr Shue says

“All right, Finn and Rachel. I want to start with ‘Damn it Janet’.” Mr Shue says

“I’m looking forward to seeing Sam in his gold bikini.” Rachel says

“It’s gonna be ab-ulous.” Sam says

“Can we get on with rehearsals?” Finn asks

“I agree! Yes. Let’s stay focussed guys. All right… Riff Raff and Columbia Magenta team one. Take your places.” Mr Shue says 

“Hey Janet (Yes Brad?), I've got something to say.”  
“I really loved the skilful way”  
“You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet!”

“The river was deep but I swam it, Janet  
The future is ours so let's plan it, Janet  
So please don't tell me to can it, Janet  
I've one thing to say and that's”

“Dammit, Janet, I love you…”

“The road was long but i ran it, Janet  
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Janet  
If there's one fool for you then I am it, Janet  
Now I've one thing to say and that's”

“Dammit, Janet, I love you…”

“Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker  
There's three ways that love can grow  
That's good, bad or mediocre  
Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so”

“Oh it's nicer than Betty Munroe had, oh Brad  
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh Brad  
That you've met Mum and you know Dad, oh Brad  
I've one thing to say and that's”

“Brad I'm mad for you too…”

“I don’t understand.” Mr Shue says looking at Carl

“Well you guys have a hole to fill, and I’m just trying to help fill it.” Carl says

“Wanky.” Santana says

“Santana!” Miss Pillsbury says everyone was giggling

“Well you know I can’t just give you a role. You’d have to try out.” Mr Shue says

“Fair enough, but I’ll need a lady to sing to. Ems?” Carl says

“Okay.” Emma says

“Hot Patootie’ B flat.” Carl says

“Whatever happened to Saturday night  
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright  
It don't seem the same since the cosmic light  
Came into my life and I thought I was divine  
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go  
And listen to the music on the radio  
A saxophone was blowing on a rock'n'roll show  
And you climbed in the back seat and you really had a good time”

“Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll”

“My head used to swim from the perfume I smelt  
My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt  
I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's  
when I'd melt  
And she whispered in my ear tonight she really was mine  
Get back in front and put some hair oil on  
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song  
With your arm around your girl you'd try to sing along  
You felt pretty good 'cause you'd really had a good time”

“Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll  
Hot Patootie bless my soul  
I really love that rock'n'roll”

“No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. This will not do.” Sue says

“Excuse me?” Carl says looking at her

“For this musical to continue we need a Frank-N-Furter, not an Eddie. Eddie was eliminated in my rewrites.” Sue says

“Sues right. You wanna play in our sandbox sing a Frank-N-Furter number.” Mr Shue says

“Well, I’m sorry, bro, but I think it’s fine to wear that Frankie bustier in the privacy of my own home— I’m freaky like that— but don’t you think it’s a little inappropriate in high school musical? I mean at least if I play Eddie I won’t have to grind up against students. You know Eddies an important role. If I did it I’d be showing my support for the arts.” Carl says

Mr Shue gives a wry chuckle. “Are you telling me how to direct my show?” Mr Shue asks

“Will, Will…” Carl says

“Mr Shue… I’d like to play Frank-N-Furter.” Mercedes says standing up. “I was rereading the script yesterday and it said ‘don’t dream it be it’ and it’s my dream to play a lead role so I figured my not me? I mean I’d be all kinds of sexy crazy in that outfit. And I can reinterpret the number to make it a little more modern. I'd really like the chance Mr Shue.” Mercedes says

“Well there you go Will. You killed two birds with one stone. You got yourself a Frank-N-Furter and an Eddie.” Sue says

“Okay guys places.” Mr Shue says

“Uh Mr Shue. Uh… I know I’m supposed to be in my underwear for this scene and I’m totally down with that. I thought maybe I would save it for the opening if that’s okay.” Finn says

“Um also Miss Pillsbury is there a way I could … wear like some gold board shorts or something. These are really short. I’m afraid I’m gonna show some nuttage. ” Sam says

“And do I really have to be a gargoyle for this scene? I feel like I’m about to fall off the edge.” Josh says

“We'll take a note guys. We can’t stop Josh, just don't fall off and Sam try not to flash us all. It’s a dress rehearsal. Come on keep going. And… action!” Mr Shue says

“Oh Brad let's get out of here. I’m cold and wet and plainly scared.” Rachel says

“Well I’m here. There’s nothing to laugh about.” Finn says as Mercedes descends in the lift and Rachel screams

“How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked  
He thought you were the candyman  
Don't get strung out by the way that I look  
Don't judge a book by its cover  
I'm not much of a girl by the light of day  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover”

“I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania”

“So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?  
I could show you my favorite obsession  
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan  
And he's good for relieving my tension”

“I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania.”

“I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania.”

“So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab  
I see you shiver with antici... pation!  
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame  
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.” Mercedes says

A motorbike engine revs as Carl comes smashing through a fibre glass wall. “Mr Director, I take out that wall, right?” Carl asks

“You’re two acts early Carl. You’re supposed to bust through the dinner party scene. Oh well actually I was sorta feeling my entrance in this scene.” Carl says

“Crap.” Josh says as he falls off the column. “Ow.” He says as he hits the ground. “I’m okay. He groans standing up. “On second thoughts I’m gonna go see the nurse.” He says gingerly, limping away. “Ow, ow, ow,” he says as he limps of stage

“I’m gonna make sure he gets to the nurse.” Brittany says sprinting after Josh

“Come on.” He says massaging his ankle.

“Come on you big idiot.” Brittany says scooping him up and carrying him to the nurse room

“You are the best friend ever.” Josh says

“And you need to stop volunteering to stand on a small pillar with your coordination skills you are seriously gonna ruin your back.” Brittany says

“All right I’m gonna call an ambulance, your knees kinda swelling up quite badly.” The nurse says

“All right.” Josh says he tried stand up and fall over

“All right from your x-rays you’ve gone some quite serious damage.” The doctor says

“Will I ever perform again?” Josh asks

“Yeah you should. But you may never be able to regain full range of motion in your knee. I’m going to prescribe a knee brace to support it when you're exercising or performing.” The doctor

“All right thanks doc.” Josh says

“You got lucky.” Brittany says

“No I did something stupid and yeah you’reright I did get lucky.” He says rubbing the back of his neck.

Then Carl walks on stage. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Schuester you messing with my woman?” He asks walking on stage 

“I…” Mr Shue stutters. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” Mr Shue says still stuttering

“Yes you do because Emma and I have a full disclosure policy— total honesty. Something that allows us to have a little called intimacy. Something you clearly know nothing about.” Carl says

“Look we were just rehearsing.” Mr Shue says

“Stop it bro. Man-to-man you me your word.” Carl says walking off stage

“So what, you quitting the show?” Mr Shue asks

“No, no, no, no. Unlike you I believe in the power of the arts. I don’t use them to pick up other guys chicks.” Carl says

“I want to apologise for putting you guys through all this particularly Sam and Finn.” Mr Shue says

“It’s cool Mr Shue. I’m sure the teasing will die down by the time my tenth reunion rolls around.” Finn says

“And I got asked to be June in the Men of McKinley High calendar.” Sam says

“I’m happy for you. But we still can’t do the musical. Look I was wrong. Rocky Horror isn’t about pushing boundaries or making an audience accept a certain rebellious point of view. Those were my reasons for doing it and they aren’t worth risking what we have here for. And when I was younger, and they started midnight shows of Rocky Horror, it wasn't for envelope pushers. It was outcasts, people on the fringe who had no place left to go but were searching for someplace, anyplace where they felt like they belonged. Sound familiar? The truth is with that perspective, Rocky Horror is the perfect show for this club.” Mr Shue says

“Well then why aren’t we putting it on?” Santana says

“We’re still gonna perform Rocky Horror. We’re just not doing it for an audience. We’re doing it for ourselves.” Mr Shue says

“It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely, not for very much longer  
I've got to keep control”

“I remember doing the Time Warp  
Drinking those moments when  
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling  
Let's do the time warp again...  
Let's do the time warp again!”

“It's just a jump to the left  
And then a step to the right  
Put your hands on your hips  
You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane  
Let's do the Time Warp again!  
Let's do the Time Warp again!”

“It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me  
So you can't see me, no not at all  
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention  
Well-secluded, I see all  
With a bit of a mind flip  
You're there in the time slip  
And nothing can ever be the same  
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation  
Let's do the Time Warp again!  
Let's do the Time Warp again!”

“Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant nothing, never would again  
Let's do the Time Warp again!  
Let's do the Time Warp again!”

“It's just a jump to the left  
And then a step to the right  
Put your hands on your hips  
You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane  
Let's do the Time Warp again!  
Let's do the Time Warp again!”

The music crescendos and everyone fall down


	6. The Subistute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I skipped over never been kissed cause I didn't really know how to change up the story to suit but Karofsky still keeps beating up Kurt but that's the B story for this book so next chapter Kurt is going to Dalton

Chapter 6 The Substitute

“All right guys um- it’s time to think about song selections.” Mr Shue says

“Looking good Puckerman. Someone’s been eating their Wheaties.” Santana says

“These guns are fully loaded.” Puck says

“Mr Shue I for one think we should use our setlist for Sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of one Bernadette Peters.” Rachel says

“One day I’m gonna go to Paris and visit ‘Oeuvre’ with Beth.” Brittany says

“I just wanna dance.” Mike says

“Mr Schuester you look a little green.” Mercedes says

“Um I think I’m gonna go see the nurse. But first I feel like I should get you guys a sitter.” Mr Shue says

“Class in Mr. Schuester's absence I’d like to go around the class and ask everyone what solos they would like to hear me perform at sectionals.” Rachel says

Quinn flies out of her seat as Santana and Brittany grab her arms as she tries to kill the small Jewish girl. At this Rachel screams. Brittany has to hand it to Quinn it had been a rough night Quinn was teething and she wasn’t sleeping and she kept biting both her and Quinn so they’d left her with Judy for the day

Josh was sat at the piano playing Hey Jude as Fynn was laying on it listening lazily to Josh singing as Puck and Finn where arguing

“Hey gigantor Mohawk shut up. Listen we’re all gonna swap names.” Fynn says

“And anytime you feel the pain  
Hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool  
Who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder”

“Did I hear something about a substitute?” Rachel says walking in and slipping on the soap Puck put on the floor

“Yes it works!” Puck yells triumphantly.

“Well atleast I didn’t fall and break my talent.” She says straightening her hair out

“What da hell?” Artie says

“Hola clase.” Miss Holliday says

“Nothing quite says ‘Bienvenidos’ like a buttered floor.” Miss Holliday says as Kurt walks in and slips over the butter in the floor. “Let’s start with some introductions.” Miss Holliday says. “My name is Holly Holliday. What’s your? Go!” She yells

“I’m Santana Lopez Head Bitch in Charge and all round mean girl.” Brittany says

“I’m Rachel Berry, her loud, loud girlfriend.” Quinn says

“I’m Brittany S. Pierce.” Santana says

“I’m Quinn Fabray, her girlfriend and baby mama.” Rachel says

“I’m Mike Chang.” Puck says 

“Those aren’t your names. You know why I know that?” Miss Holliday says

“You’re psychic?” Brittany asks

“I know this because I recently watched a video of you guys perform at Regionals … where you came last. Maybe it’s because the songs were about 30 years old but” Miss Holliday says

“Those songs are classics.” Finn says

“Those songs are amazing. But they sound like somebody else's favourite songs, not yours. Just saying.” Miss Holliday says clicking her tongue

“She speaks the truth.” Brittany says

“I’m not your average run of the mill substitute teacher. I want you guys to do things that you wanna do. I want you to have fun in your fabulous but fleeting time together. What do you say we have class outside today?” Miss Holliday suggests

“It’s pissing it down with rain.” Josh says

“Then let’s take a field trip to Taco Bell.” Miss Holliday says

“Oh yeah!” Someone yells

“Shall we toke up some medical grade marijuana?” Miss Holliday suggests

“No thanks I’m about 6 months sober. I’m not falling off the bandwagon for a cool teacher.” Josh says

“Okay. No we can just goof off all day.” Rachel says

“Mi amor don’t be such a buzzkill.” Santana says

“But we have to write a set list for Sectionals.” Rachel says

“You’re right. What songs would you like to do?” Miss Holliday says

“Hey Jude.” Josh says from behind the piano

“Everybody Wants To Rule The World!” Quinn yells out

Everyone else stays silent “don’t get asked that very often?” 

“Mr Shue never listens to me.” Puck says

“Mr Shue can we do that new Cee Lo song ‘forget you’?” Puck asks

“Uh no. Come on guys. There’s gotta be a Journey song we haven’t done yet.” Mr Shue says

“Cee Lo! The Beatles! Tears for Fears! All grey choices! That’s what I’m talkin about!” Miss Holliday shouts

“Excuse me. What would you know about Cee Lo? Cause your like 40.” Santana asks

“Top 40 sweet cheeks. Hit it.” Miss Holliday says “I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too"  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya  
Huh, now ain't that some shhh (Ain't that some shhh)  
And although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best  
With a "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)”

“Yeah, I'm sorry I can't afford a Ferrari  
But that don't mean I can't get you there  
I guess she's an Xbox and I'm more an Atari  
Mmh, but the way you play your game ain't fair  
I pity the fool that falls in love with you”

“(Oops, she's a gold digger)  
Well (Just thought you should know it)”

“Ooh, ooh  
I've got some news for you  
Yeah go run and tell your little girlfriend”

“I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too"  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya  
Huh, now ain't that some shhh (Ain't that some shhh)  
Although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best  
With a "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)”

“Now baby, baby, baby  
Why'd you wanna, wanna hurt me so bad? (So bad, so bad, so bad)  
So bad (Yeah) (Oh)  
I tried to tell my mamma  
But she told me "This is one for your dad" (Your dad, your dad, your dad)  
(Yes she did) (Yes she did)”

“(Uh!) Why?  
(Uh!) Why?  
(Uh!) Why, baby, baby? (Uh-uh!)”

“I love you  
I still love you! (Hey, baby!)”

I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Forget you, oh yeah) (Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough (Ooh)  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too" (Oh, baby!)  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya (Yeah, you!)  
Huh, now ain't that some shhh (Ain't that some shhh) (Ooh, ooh!)  
Although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best (Wish you the best)  
With a "forget you" (You, ah-ah-ah)   
Oh-oh-oh, oh!”

Everyone cheers and whoops. “Let’s go get some tacos!” Miss Holliday yells 

“Miss Holliday I have a song I’d like to perform.” Johd says from behind the keys of the piano which everyone was confused

“Go on Josh was it?” Miss Holliday 

“Yep. Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better

“Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better”

“And anytime you feel the pain  
Hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool  
Who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder”

“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

“Hey Jude, don't let me down  
You have found her, now go and get her (Let it out and let it in)  
Remember (Hey Jude) to let her into your heart”

“Then you can start to make it better”

“So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin  
You're waiting for someone to perform with  
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do  
The movement you need is on your shoulder”

“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

“Yeah”

“Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her under your skin  
Then you'll begin to make it better  
Better better better better better (Oh, yeah, yeah, Jude!)   
(Ooh!) (Aww! Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)”

“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

He stands up and kicks piano stool across room as he plays from a standing position as everyone crowds around the piano

“Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude Aw aw!)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (Wooh! Nah, nah, nah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Yeah, you know you can make it Jude, Jude you're not gonna break it, yeah!)  
Nah nah nah (Don't make it bad, Jude)  
Nah nah nah nah, (Take a sad song and make it better)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, hey Jude, yeah, ha, ha!)  
Nah nah nah (Wooh! Jude) nah nah nah nah, (Yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Hey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!)  
Nah nah nah (Hey, yeah) nah nah nah nah (Hey, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Now Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, yeah!)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, (Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah”

“Hey Jude”  
“Mr Shue I want to do a more upbeat, glamorous song with a really good dance beat.” Rachel says

“No but I have good news. I found a Journey song we haven’t done yet.” Mr Shue says everybody groans

“You can like the life you're living  
You can live the life you like  
You can even marry Harry  
But mess around with Ike  
And that's  
Good, isn't it?  
Grand, isn't it?  
Great, isn't it?  
Swell, isn't it?  
Fun, isn't it?  
But nothing stays  
In fifty years or so  
It's gonna change, you know  
But, oh, it's heaven  
Nowadays”

“And all that  
Jazz”

Mr Shue taught me the second half of the alphabet and how to burp Beth properly. I stopped after ‘m’ and ‘n’ I felt they were too similar and got frustrated.” Brittany says

Everyone cheers at the fact that Mr Shue is back. “All right all right. Thank you very much guys. Please. Please sit down. Thank you for that and for all the kind words you said to me to Sue. The feelings are mutual. Now we gotta get cracking though we lost a few days there. It’s all gonna be focus and hard work for the next couple of days. I guess Miss Holliday really is gone. I know you guys liked her and she was a lot of fun. But she and I both agreed that this is what’s best.” Mr Shue says

“Don’t get us wrong Mr Shue. We always wanted you as our teacher. She was just a nice break.” Tina says

“She did loosen us up.” Quinn says

“She actually had good ideas for a sub.” Artie says

“Yeah. I get it. And maybe we can incorporate some of those after sectionals. Now when I’m sick there is only one thing that makes me feel better.” Mr Shue says handing out sheet music

“Gin and juice.” Artie says

“No Singin’ in the Rain. I must have watched it ten times over the past few days. It’s actually what inspired me as a contender for our first song at sectionals.” Mr Shue says 

“When is this song from?” Sam asks

“Well the movie opened in 1952. But it’s really timeless.” Mr Shue says

“(Uh-huh, uh-huh) Yeah, Holly  
(Uh-huh, uh-huh) Good girl gone bad  
(Uh-huh, uh-huh) Take three...action!  
(Uh-huh, uh-huh) Woah!”

“You have my heart  
And we'll never be worlds apart  
May be in magazines  
But you'll still be my star  
Baby, 'cause in the dark  
You can't see shiny cars  
And that's when you need me there  
With you I'll always share  
'Cause I…”

“I'm singin' in the rain (We'll shine together)  
Just singin' in the rain (We'll be forever)  
What a glorious feeling (Be a friend)  
And I'm happy again (Stick it out 'til the end)  
I'm laughing at clouds (More than ever)  
So dark, up above (We'll share each other)  
I'm singin', singin' in the rain (Umbrella)  
You can stand under my umbrella (Ella, ella, eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella (Ella, ella, eh eh eh eh eh eh)”

“These fancy things  
Will never come in between  
You're part of my entity  
Here for infinity  
When the world has took its part  
When the world has dealt its cards  
If the hand is hard  
Together we'll mend your heart  
'Cause I…”

“I'm singin' in the rain (We'll shine together)  
Just singin' in the rain (We'll be forever)  
What a glorious feeling (Be a friend)  
And I'm happy again (Stick it out 'til the end)  
I'm laughing at clouds (More than ever)  
So dark, up above (We'll share each other)  
I'm singin', singin' in the rain (Umbrella)0

You can stand under my umbrella (Umbrella)  
Ella, ella, eh eh eh (Just singin' in the rain)  
Under my umbrella (What a glorious feeling)  
Ella, ella, eh eh eh (And I'm happy again)  
Under my umbrella (I'm laughing at clouds)  
Ella, ella, eh eh eh (So dark, up above)  
Under my umbrella (I'm singin')  
Ella, ella, eh eh eh eh eh eh (Singin' in the rain...)”

“It's rainin', rainin'  
Ooh, baby it's rainin', rainin'  
Baby, come here to me  
Come here to me  
It's rainin', rainin'  
Ooh, baby it's rainin', rainin' (More than ever)  
Baby, come here to me  
Come here to me”

“It's rainin', rainin' (I'm singin' in the rain)  
Ooh, baby it's rainin', rainin' (Just singin' in the rain)  
Baby, come here to me (What a glorious feeling)  
Come here to me (And I'm happy again)  
It's rainin', rainin' (I'm laughing at clouds)  
Ooh, baby it's rainin', rainin' (So dark, up above)  
Baby, come here to me (The sun's in my heart)  
And I'm ready for love”

“My umbrella, my umbrella  
My umbrella, my umbrella”


	7. Furt

Chapter 7 Furt

“Mr Shue never liste“Ladies the Kurt Karofsky bullying situation is getting out of control. Kirts miserable.” Rachel says

“Yesterday when I went to his house he was recreating the scene from Lilo and Stitch where Lilo lies on the floor listening to depressing Elvis songs and there were several attempts at a suicide note on his desk.” Josh says pulling several scraps of paper out of his pocket.

“We’ve all been teased but something about what Karofskys doing is so much worse.” Tina says

“We’re all lucky to have friends on the football team and Josh who is on the basketball team and shares the same locker room as the football team.” Rachel says

“Personally I think you just set feminists movement back about 59 years.” Quinn says

“Guys like Karofsky only respond to muscle.” Rachel says

“Have you seen me?” Josh says rolling up his sleeve showing his boney arms.

“Yeah well you're taller than Karofsky so you’ll look intimidating to him.” Rachel says

“So we’re gonna fight violence with violence?” Quinn asks

“No! Look I’m not saying that they should hit him. What I’m saying is that we need to defend Kurt, and there’s strength in numbers.” Rachel says

“I’m confused what is going on here and why I’m here? I’m not football lacrosse basketball or any other sport I’m in the D&D club for fuck sake!” Fynn says

“I’m really not sure. But we have to talk to the football guys and make sure they get the message across that Kurt is off limits.” Rachel says

“I’m really not comfortable getting in another mans face but Rachel right this can’t go on Kurt looks awful.” Josh says

“I’ll talk to Artie.” Brittany says

“I’ll talk to Mike.” Tina says

“I’ll talk to Sam.” Quinn says

“And I’ll talk to Finn.” Rachel says

“I’ll talk to Puckerman.” Santana says

“Puck can’t be involved in this, he's on probation.” Tina points out

“Fine, he can be the look out!” Santana yells throwing her hands up

“Look if something happens to Kurt and we didn’t do anything to stop it it would break my heart.” Rachel says

“Artie man come on all I need you to do is talk to Karofsky and make him leave Kurt alone.” Brittany says

“Fine but next time you need a babysitter I’m doing it.” He says

“Fine.” She says walking away

“Oww.” Josh says as Fynn wraps the bandage around his knuckles

“You deserve you big baby.” Fynn says pulling it right

“So what actually happened?” Rachel asked

“So Mike and Artie started talking to him and then Karofsky pushed Mike at Artie knocking them both over and cracking Arties glasses so Sam and I jumped in and then Karofsky punched Sam at me which I dodged and then same hit his head off the lockers so picked Karofsky over and I had the upper hand until coach Beiste came in and broke it up to which Karofsky spit in my face so I punched him in the nos which split my knuckle and dislocated my wrist guess I didn’t know my own strength. Sam how's your head?” Josh says 

“I’m alright.” Sam says

“Artie Mike I’m so sorry I should’ve jumped in sooner. Now Mike you’ve got a a previously dislocated shoulder and Artie your glasses are broken.”

“It’s alright I got my spare pair.” Artie says pulling them out of his bag

“It’s alright men we had no idea he was gonna attack us.” Mike says putting his uninjured hand in his shoulder

Josh runs his tongue over his teeth. “No, no, no fuck!” He yells

“Josh what is it?” Mike says looking concerned

“Motherfucker knocked one of my teeth out.” He say pointing to the missing tooth in his upper jaw.

“That’s why you shouldn’t get into fights.” Fynn says giving him a disapproving look

“Where the hell was Finn?” Santana asks

“I was still on the field. I totally would’ve given him a beatdown if I was there.” Finn says nervously

“The fact is it shouldn’t have gone down without you Finn. You should have been leading the charge.” Mercedes says

“Lay off Finn everyone. It isn’t his problem. It’s none of your problems actually. But thank you for what you did especially Josh and Sam.” Kurt says

“Serious the epitome of a leader.” Mike says

“What’s going on?” Mr Shue asks

“Well Mike and Artie started talking to him and then Karofsky pushed Mike at Artie knocking them both over and cracking Arties glasses so Sam and I jumped in and then Karofsky punched Sam at me which I dodged and then same hit his head off the lockers so picked Karofsky over and I had the upper hand until coach Beiste came in and broke it up to which Karofsky spit in my face so I punched him in the nos which split my knuckle and dislocated my wrist guess I didn’t know my own strength. And Karofsky knocked out one of my teeth.” Josh says

“So you all stood up to Karofsky?” Mr Shue asks

“Well Finn didn’t but yeah the rest of us did.” Mike says shrugging and wincing at his shoulder

“Is everyone okay?” Mr Shue asks

“I dislocated my wrist and split my knuckle Sam took a blow to the head when Karofsky pushed him at me Mike dislocated his shoulder and Artie broke his glasses.” Josh says

“Do we all need to to Principal Sylvester?” Mr Shue asks

“No. But I would like to go to the nurse the room seems to be spinning.” Artie says

“And Sam and I got in a few good licks so we can just call it even. And maybe Karofsky will leave Kirt alone now.” Josh says then Fynn pulls the bandage off and puts some fresh antiseptic cream on it. “Motherfucker!” He yells

“Stop being a baby.” Fynn says putting a fresh bandage on

“You okay Kurt?” Mr Shue asks, putting a hand on his shoulder. He nods. “Alright guys. Let’s take our places. We got a wedding to prepare for.” He says

“It's a beautiful night,  
We're looking for something dumb to do.  
Hey baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

“Is it the look in your eyes,  
Or is it this dancing juice?  
Who cares baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

Quinn and Brittany came racing down the aisle Brittany in her sharpest sour and Quinn in a lovely red dress.

“Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go,  
No one will know,  
Come on girl.  
Who cares if we're trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow,  
Shots of patron,  
And it's on girl.”

“Don't say no, no, no, no-no;  
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;  
And we'll go, go, go, go-go.  
If you're ready, like I'm ready.”

“Cause it's a beautiful night,  
We're looking for something dumb to do.  
Hey baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

“Is it the look in your eyes,  
Or is it this dancing juice?  
Who cares baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

Burt comes dancing down the aisle as the New Directions sing

“Just say I do,  
Tell me right now baby,  
Tell me right now baby, baby”

“Oh  
Cause it's a beautiful night,  
We're looking for something dumb to do.  
Hey baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

“Is it the look in your eyes,  
Or is it this dancing juice?  
Who cares baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.”

“Please be seared. Usually we’d start with a prayer. But a certain young wedding planner, who shall remain nameless, was afraid that some in attendance might fall asleep. So instead I’m going to let Burt and Carole tell you in their own words why they invited you here today.” The priest says

“I’m not really known for having a way with words. Uh … you know when you’re a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one they neglect to mention is how … sad life can be. I lost somebody I loved very much. But Kurt … he lost his mom. And that killed me. Well we got by but looking back? I want to apologise to you Kurt. What we were living… wasn’t living. You know that saying when God closes a door he opens a window? Well sometimes out of nowhere he’ll do you one better, and he’ll kick a whole wall down. He grabbed me by the shoulders and he pointed me towards this woman here. And he said ‘there she is. Go get her.’ You’re everything Carole. Words can’t describe you. You’re everything. And I will till the day I die.” Burt says

“Oh hey … I’m lucky. Most women when they get married they get one man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt, you are an amazing person. I’m not only getting a son. I’m getting a friend. Finn … I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I’ve watched you grow into a man. But I think I’m most proud that you’ve become such a brother to Kurt. We are four people. Becoming a family.” Carole says

“Okay. Burt do you take Carole…?” The minister asks

“You bet I do!” He yells

“And do you Carole take this man…?” The minister says

“Oh yes I do! Yes I do.” She says

The two kiss everyone whoops and cheers after the first dance Finn stands up to give his speech

“”Hi. Uh thank you. Best man. Right. Uh… well I wanna propose a toast to my mom… who is so awesome. I mean… somehow even without one in the house, you taught me what it means to be a man. In Glee Club whenever two of us get together, we got a nickname. So Rachel and Santana are Pezberry and Quinn and Brittany are Quitt and we all saw what that got them true love a happy ending and the first in a long line of kids and if they ever all got into some strange polyamorous relation ship it would be Faberrittana. But today a new union was formed. Furt. You and me, man. We’re brothers from another mother. And quite frankly no one else has shown me as much as you what it means to be a man. And over the past few weeks some stuff has gone down. And I haven’t man up to it like I should’ve. From now on? Now matter what it cost me I got your back. Okay? Even if it means getting a Slushee in the face every now and then. You out this entire wedding together by yourself Kurt. So as a thank you I had Josh Fynn and Brittany put something together.” Finn says as the curtain comes back up

Brittanys sat behind the piano and she no longer wearing her suit and her hair is held up and she wearing a wig she takes a deep breath and starts singing

“I remember when rock was young  
Me and Susie had so much fun  
Holdin' hands and skimmin’ stones  
Had an old gold Chevy and a place of my own  
But the biggest kick I ever got  
Was doin' a thing called the Crocodile Rock  
While the other kids were rockin' ’round the clock  
We were hoppin' and boppin' to the Crocodile Rock”

“Well, Crocodile Rockin' is something shockin'  
When your feet just can't keep still  
I never knew me a better time, and I guess I never will  
Oh, lawdy mama, those Friday nights.” Brittany kicks the piano stool back and slams one of her feet on a series of keys everyone cry’s out in shock at this

“When Susie wore her dresses tight  
And the Crocodile Rockin' was out of sight”

“La, la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-laa  
La-la-la-la-la  
La, la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la

Quinn and other climbs up on the stage and dncad around the piano as the happy family dance round the floor

“La, la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La, la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La, la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la”

Hey Kurt I know you get a lot of trouble. So here something for you. I was justified when I was five  
Raisin' Cain, I spit in your eye  
Times are changin', now the poor get fat  
But the fever's gonna catch you when the bitch gets back”

“Eat meat on a Friday, that's alright  
Even like steak on a Saturday night  
I could bitch the best at your social do's  
I get high in the evenin' sniffin' pots of glue, oh”

“I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch  
Oh, the bitch is back  
Stone-cold sober, as a matter of fact  
I can bitch, I can bitch  
'Cause I'm better than you  
It's the way that I move  
The things that I do  
I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch  
Oh, the bitch is back  
Stone-cold sober, as a matter of fact  
I can bitch, I can bitch  
'Cause I'm better than you  
It's the way that I move  
The things that I do, oh”

“Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back  
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back  
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back  
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back”

“Come on guys the wedding was great, but we have got to get ready for Sectionals next week. Kurt good I wanted to talk to you about this amazing idea I had for a solo for you at Sectionals.” Mr Shue says

“First I want to thank everybody for what you did at my dad's wedding, especially Finn. It’s nice to know I have great friends here as well as a true brother. Which is why it’s so hard for me to leave.” Kurt says

“What do you mean ‘leave’?” Josh asks

“I’m transferring to Dalton Academy … immediately.” Kurt says

“Well Kurt if you’re going take this song with you.” Josh says picking up his guitar. “She won our hearts, the arts she loved  
Was painting pictures for free  
When she was done she hung them up  
For all the children to see”

“Goodbye, April lady  
It's been good to have you around  
Goodbye, April lady  
You've done a lot for the folks in this town”

“The children learned to read  
She strung their beads  
It's sorry she was the one  
As you can see isn't she good  
She don't leave nothing undone”

“Goodbye, April lady  
It's been good to have you around  
Goodbye, April lady  
You've done a lot for the folks in this town”

“She taught them all to love  
She was their cream  
And we don't want her to go  
But we know too well  
She fell in love  
And there's no stopping her so”

“Goodbye, April lady  
It's been good to have you around  
Goodbye, April lady  
You've done a lot for the folks in this town”

“Goodbye, April lady  
Goodbye, April lady  
Goodbye. Goodbye Kurt we’ll miss you.” Josh says as he hugs him before he walks out of the door


	8. Special Education

Chapter 8 Special Education

“Mr Schuester I have an announcement. I’ve selected the perfect moving ballad for Finn and I to sing to launch our performances at sectionals.” Rachel says

“Me first. Two things. First our competition at sectionals are your classic stool chair choir. Great voices but they don’t move. Now if we wanna beat them we need to do what they can’t: dance. Which is why I’ve decided to feature … Brittany and Mike Chang’s sweet dance moves in our performance.” Mr Shue says

“They’re gonna be dancing in front of me during my solo?” Rachel asks

“You’re not getting a solo for this competition, Rachel.” Mr Shue says

“Finally. So what song do I get to sing?” Mercedes asks

“I was thinking that the winner of duets competition would take the lead.” Mr Shue says

“The Barbie twins? Are you trying to throw this?” Rachel asks

“Stop being such a bitch Rachel yo get everything it’s time for someone else to have to have the spotlight for a little while seriously right now I wanna punch you in the face.” Wuinn says

“I really wouldn’t piss her off Beth's teething and she likes a freaking beaver.” Brittany says

“Okay listen I have talked the talk … about everybody in here feeling for over a year now, but frankly I haven’t walked the walk. I mean we have got a lot of talent here, and I’m gonna highlight it.” Mr Shue says

“Look I’m all about pumping up the team, making everyone feel special but that’s for practice. You don’t take the quarterback out before the big game.” Finn says

“Easy to say when you’re the star quarterback.” Tina says

“This isn’t just about me. It’s about the team.” Finn says rolling his eyes

“Okay enough already! No more conversations about this or anything. This is our plan for Sectionals and that is that. Mike Brittany come on up. Let’s start choreographing.” Mr Shue says

Quinn walks past a classroom seeing Brittany standing with her back to the door

“What are you doing? We’ve been looking for you all day.” Quinn says walking in the room

“I’m paralysed with fear. I’ve been here since second period. I really have to pee.” Brittany says turns around

“What are you afraid your a double feature at sectionals with your amazing girlfriend who loves you and supports you unconditionally.” Quinn says

“Well Artie gave this.” She says holding up a blue comb. “He said it was magic.” 

“You don’t need no magic comb. All the luck you need is right here.” Quinn says pointing to vaguely where her heart is on her left hand side

“My left boob is magic.” Brittany says staring at it

“No your heart. No one has a magic boob silly” Quinn says ruffling her hair.

“That is kinda silly to say that I have a magic boob.” Brittany says chuckling and kissing Quinn. 

“Now home we have a human beaver hybrid to feed.” Quinn says wagging her finger in the air before they both break out in fits of laughter

“Where’s Puck? I haven’t seen Homs since yesterday and he owes me a churro.” Santana says

“My guess is he’d rather quit Glee Club than lose Sectionals and I can’t blame him. Our sets gonna real light on Mercedes.” Mercedes says

“If the Warblers won sectionals it’s only because we gave them Kurt. We should not clap.” Tina says

“If we lose we should throw possums.” Brittany says

“We should just let my niece loose.” Josh says holding her at arm's length so she doesn’t bite him. “You really weren’t kidding Quinn she bite me 12 separate times while I was feeding her lunch and then she bit me again while I was reading her a book.” Josh says putting her in the pushchair and then rubbing his bite marks. “That kids a freaking beaver. I’m afraid to wear shorts and it’s getting warm outside” Josh says

Then Rachel walks in with tape over her mouth. “Rachel what are you doing?” Mr Shue asks her

“She being immature Mr Shue please ignore her she told me while we were making out that she wasn’t gonna sing at Glee Club until you gave her her solo back and moved Brittany and Mike's dance number to the end. Please ignore her while I wrestle the tape off her mouth.” Santana says before pushing her out the door.

“When we go to Sectionals we’re gonna cheer on the Hipsters and Kurt and the Warblers. But nobody let Beth get loose so someone doesn’t get bitten and then we get sued. And if they win we will congratulate them. Now Josh Fynn I had a suggestion. What do you know of God Save The Queen?” Mr Shue says

“The British national anthem or the Queen song?” Fynn asks

“The Queen song. I want you to play that at the end of Sectionals.” Mr Shue says

“I got it.” Josh says then puck walks in

“Dude where have you been?” Artie ask

“I found him in a porta potty.” Lauren Zizes says

“Okay guys. Well looks like we’re back in business. Let’s all welcome our newest member. Miss Lauren Zizes.” Mr Shue says a series of half hearted claps echo from the rest of the club. Then Santana and Rachel walk in obviously fuming with each other but Rachel now devoid of tape on her face. “Puck nice work. We owe you one.” Mr Shue says shaking his hand

“Hey babe you wanna grab a latte tomorrow morning?” Quinn asks

“Sure but we can’t miss the bus.” Brittany says

Josh is sitting on the drum risers plucking the chords for God Save The Queen. “You know even if we fail I’m really glad we did it together and even if we fall short and we don’t get a shot until next year you guys are my friends truly and honestly my friends.” Josh says

“You big softy you.” Brittany says ruffling his hair. “Are you crying?” She asks

“I’m not crying, I have sadness in my eye.” Josh says

“I’m so proud of you. You over your nerves and your about to help us take our sectionals title.” Quinn says hugging her and kiss her left temple 

“In truth I'm terrified.” Brittany says kissing her back

“Yeah me too. Last time we performed in front of an audience my daughter was ready to see the world. I'm having some serious nausea right now.” Quinn says

“F.Y.I I’m totally available to fill in.” Mercedes says as Josh doodles on his the bottom white section of his converse in permanent marker.

“Enough all right!” Mr Shue yells causing Josh to throw his permanent marker out of the open window.

“Crap.” He says face palming

“Think back to where you were last year. In this room no choreography, no set list and no chance in hell of winning, but you did win because you did it together and your songs and choreography were written on alcohol and a hope and prayer but you won. Look I don’t care how terrified you guys are find your happy place sing and for 6 minutes remind yourself that you're not alone.” Mr Shue says

“I crapped my pants.” Josh says 

“I can’t hold my drum sticks right.” Fynn says looking at his shaking hands.

“Guys tonight I’m gonna be performing for Beth.” Brittany says

[Brittany]  
“Now I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt like this before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
and I owe it all to you0

[Quinn]  
“'Cause I've had the time of my life  
and I owe it all to you”

[Brittany]  
“I've been waiting for so long  
Now I've finally found someone  
To stand by me”

[Quinn]  
“We saw the writing on the wall  
As we felt this magical fantasy  
Now with passion in our eyes  
There's no way we could disguise it secretly  
So we take each other's hand  
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency  
just remember”

“You're the one thing  
I can't get enough of (I can't get enough of)  
So I'll tell you something  
This could be love (This could be love)  
because”

“I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt this way before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you”

“ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba  
ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ooh”

“Now I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt this way before (never felt this way)  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you.”

“I’ve had the time of my life (of my life)  
No I never felt this way before (never felt this way)  
Yes I swear it’s the truth (it's the truth)  
And I owe it all to you.”

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water  
And I think of all the things, what you're doing  
And in my head I paint a picture”

“'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
I won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie?”

“'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
I won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie?”

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water  
And I think of all the things,  
What you're doing and in my head I paint a picture”

“'Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
I won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie?  
Yeah Valerie”

“And now this year head judge, associate director of the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles Mr Pete Sosnowski.” The PA guy says

“Thank you. And thank you to all the groups that performed here today. We all had a serious good time. You know what else is a serious good time? Taking two minutes to save a life by filling out an organ donor card, because it’s never too late to donate. Drumroll please. In third place The Hipsters. Thank you. Drive carefully. And now the winner of this year's West Central Sectionals … is. It’s a tie. Congratulations! You’re all going to Regionals.” Sosnowski says everyone cheers

“Congratulations guys. It wasn’t pretty but we’re moving on. And I for one am gonna be happy to have Regionals and Nationals to focus on.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue we heard that Miss Pillsbury is marrying the dentist. We’re really sorry.” Santana says sounding genuinely sincere

“It’s all right we don’t need to talk about it.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue I have a song.” Josh says

“Let’s hear it.” Mr Shue says

“Well this is actually about moving on to greener pastures.   
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes”

“Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
It's all right  
It's all right” everyone cheers as Josh plays the last few chords


	9. A Very Glee Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas from the middle of May man I’m on a roll today

Chapter 9 A Very Glee Christmas

“Last year I left my Christmas stocking up over the holidays and a family of mice started living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.” Brittany says

“I told my parents I only want one thing for Christmas. For Beth to have the most perfect Christmas ever.” Quinn says

“And she is that what I asked Santa for Christmas.” Brittany says

“Brittany babe do you still in Santa?” Quinn asks as they walk down the hall

“Yeah why don’t you?” Brittany asks

“Of course I do.” Quinn says. “No way.” She says under her breath

Everyone sings as they decorated the tree that Josh cut down from the forest behind his house.

“We're on the island of misfit toys  
Here we don't want to stay  
We want to travel with Santa Claus in his magic sleigh”

“A pack full of toys means a sack full of joys  
For millions of girls and for millions of boys  
When Christmas day is here  
The most wonderful day of the year  
A jack-in-the-box waits for children to shout  
"Wake up! Don't you know that it's time to come out!"  
When Christmas day is here  
The most wonderful day of the year”

“Toys galore scattered on the floor  
There's no room for more  
And it's all because of Santa Claus”

“A scooter for Jimmy  
A dolly for Sue  
The kind that will even say "How do you do?"  
When Christmas day is here  
The most wonderful day of the year”

“How'd you like to be a spotted elephant?  
Or a choo-choo with square wheels on your caboose!  
Or a water pistol that shoots... jelly?  
[Spoken:] We are all misfits!”

“If we're on the island of unwanted toys  
We'll miss all the fun with the girls and the boys  
When Christmas day is here  
The most wonderful, wonderful  
Wonderful, wonderful  
Wonderful day of the year!”

“You are all cordially invited to celebrate around my fire pit there will be beers, non alcoholic beers for myself and marshmallows for roasting and songs to be.” Josh says throwing his hand up.

“Hey guys what this?” Mr Shue asks

“Oh we’re trying to get in the Christmas spirit Mr Shue. Christmas is totally my favourite holiday. And check out this awesome tree! Josh cut it down.” Finn says

“And the ornaments?” Mr Shue asks

“The guys next store finally killed off his elderly mother. And when they carted him off, they left the house wide open so … I think she was a holiday hoarder.” Santana says

“Uh and the presents?” Mr Shue asks

“I lifted them from a display at the mall. But don’t worry. They’re empty.” Puck says

“Look guys I appreciate the effort, but this isn’t what Christmas is supposed to look like.” Mr Shue says

“For us it is. This tree is sorta like a mascot for Glee Club. We win Sectionals two years in a row, and according to everyone at this school we still suck.” Mercedes says

“I’m pretty sure they added food colouring to real slush from the parking lot.” Mike says

“You can eat that you know.” Lauren says

“No, no. I am not gonna let you guys throw yourself a pity party. Look I’m the first to say that thing haven’t turned out exactly how I would like them to this year but Christmas is all about being grateful for the things that did.” Mr Shue says setting the mini Christmas tree on the piano.

“I thought that was Thanksgiving.” Puck says

“And this year Glee Club is going to lend a hand to the McKinney-Vento Homeless Children and Youth program right here in Lima.” Mr Shue says

“How are we going to do that?” Rachel asks

“The only way we know by singing about it. We’re gonna go classroom to classroom, carolling to raise money for McKinney-Vento.” Mr Shue says

“Wait classroom in this school? Like students in them?” Tina asks

“Well if there are no students in them there will be no one to put money in the collection box while we sing.” Mr Shue says

“We’re gonna be killed.” Quinn says 

“No guys, it's Christmas, a time of miracles. We gotta try this.” Finn says

“Yeah a miracle I managed to go another year without someone trying to set my hair on fire.” Josh says

“Finn's right. So let’s start rehearsing. This year the Glee Clubs going full Santa.” Mr Shue says

“Haul out the holly  
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again  
Fill up the stocking  
I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now”

“For we need a little Christmas  
Right this very minute  
Candles in the window  
Carols at the spinet.” The students start heckling then and then teacher takes her shoe off and throws it at Fynn

“Go, go, go.” Finn says pushing Artie and the mobile drum risers out of the classroom

“I can’t believe that teacher that those students speak to us like that.” Rachel says before shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth

“I can’t believe she threw her shoe at me.” Fynn says

“Now who’s being the baby?” Josh says

“Guess we’re done carolling.” Tina says

“No we’re not guys. We can’t let what just happened ruin our Christmas spirit. Mr Shue got us this beautiful tree to inspire us. We’re gonna practice now and gear up for round two tomorrow.” Finn says

“Pretty soon no one will bully us. Santa Claus can do anything and this year, I asked for the Glee Club to stop getting picked on.” Brittany says

“She's kidding right.” Lauren asks

“She still believes in Santa.” Quinn says lowering her voice so Brittany couldn’t hear her

“Seriously?” Artie questions

“Seriously.” Quinn confirms

“Okay someone needs to break the news to her.” Lauren says

“Don’t look at me. I mean I’m cruel and all but that’s just hardcore.” Puck says

“I’ll do it we’re both autistic I know how to let her down slowly.” Josh says. “And if she kills me I’m gonna haunt you Quinn for the rest of your life.” 

“Fine.” She says

“Hey Brittany.” Josh says walking over

“Hey Josh.” She says cheerfully

“So you know how you believe in Santa.” Josh says

“Yeah. Do you believe in him too?” She asks looking at him

“Yeah of course.” Josh says. “But I have to tell you something but you have to promise that you’re not gonna kill me.”

“I promise.” Brittany says

“Santa isn’t real.” Josh says flinching waiting for the punch’s to come but they never did

“Thank you for telling me.” Brittany says hugging him

“I honestly thought you were gonna kill me.” Josh says

“Me kill you.” She says before laughing

“You think it was funny?” He says 

“You guys thought I believed in Santa?” She says between the tears

“You ,Brittany S. Pierce, are a bad friend.” Josh says pushing past her

“Oh come on that was funny I genuinely had you all believing I still thought Santa was real.” She says before laughing again

The car pulls up outside Josh's house laugh and singing can be heard from round the back Brittany knocks on the door. “Come in, come in it’s freezing outside. Alcohol free beer for my now sober friend and an ordinary beer for my non sober friend.” Josh says popping the two tops and handing them to the girls. “The uh fire pit is out back. Fair warning Santana and Rachel are in a very steamy make out sesh.” Josh says as they walk through the house to the back garden seeing all the New Directions set round the fire singing a song

As they stand underneath the back porch they noticed mistletoe on the top of the porch 

“Kiss.” Everyone chants Brittany shrugs and then kisses Quinn full on the lips before slipping her some tongue. Everybody whoops 

“Josh I really hope you get a spare bedroom.” Quinn says

“Yeah I do. Why?” Josh says taking a sip of his alcohol free beer

“Cause I’m turned on.” Quinn says 

“After this next song.” Josh says setting his beer down

“Better late than never.” Puck says popping the top on his second beer.

Everyone sits round the fire pit for hours in Josh’s backyard as they roast marshmallows, drink beer, take turns singing songs and swapping ghost stories then Josh pulls out this one.

“It's the most wonderful time of the year  
With the kids jingle belling  
And everyone telling you "be of good cheer"  
It's the most wonderful time of the year”

“It's the hap-happiest season of all  
With those holiday greetings  
And gay happy meetings when friends come to call  
It's the hap-happiest season of all”

“There'll be parties for hosting  
Marshmallows for toasting  
And caroling out in the snow  
There'll be scary ghost stories  
And tales of the glories  
Of Christmases long, long ago “

“It's the most wonderful time of the year  
There'll be much mistletoeing  
And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near  
It's the most wonderful time of the year”

“There'll be parties for hosting  
Marshmallows for toasting  
And caroling out in the snow  
There'll be scary ghost stories  
And tales of the glories  
Of Christmases long, long ago”

“It's the most wonderful time of the year  
There'll be much mistletoeing  
And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near  
It's the most wonderful time  
Yes, the most wonderful time  
Oh, the most wonderful time  
Of the year”

“All right I’m gonna need that spare room now.” Quinn says pressing her legs for some semblance of friction

“All right I’m gonna take care of this.” Brittany says setting her beer down

Quinn pushes Brittany into the spare room ya long off here jeans and then pulling down her boxers before pulling her own jeans down and sliding her panties to the side and begins riding Brittany as she felt her climax building so she begins to ride Brittany with much more vigour into she feels her climax come and then feels Brittany blow inside her. “That was the best sex ever.” Quinn says rolling over. “We should go back down stairs.” Quinn says pulling up her jeans and tossing Brittany her jeans

“You’re right.” Brittany says pulling her jeans on

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” Brittany says as they walk back out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone feel free to comment and leave kudos it really keep me motivated to continue I’ll try get one more out for you today which is The Sue Sylvester Shuffle


	10. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

The Cheerios practice their new routine “I’m bored. Ladies I’m at a loss. Brittany please remind me of how I single handedly put cheerleading on the map.” Sue says

“”In 1979 you directed a made-for- TV movie about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader called The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.” Brittany says

“That is correct. And in the meantime, what’s changed?” Sue asks

“Personal grooming habits?” Quinn suggests

“What’s changed is I’ve completely lost interest. And ladies I blame you. Becky, more silicone falsies.” Sue says

“Yes coach.” Becky says

“You will each enhance your bust with an additional pair of chicken cutlets, in an attempt to add some jiggle to what is the most boring routine I’ve ever witnessed.” Sue says

“But Coach Sue, this is the most elaborate routine the Cheerios have ever done. We’re shoo ins at Regionals and we’re the favourites to win any Nationals.” Quinn says

“And yet still I’m so very bored. Even things I used to think were hilarious… case in point. Sandbags slap yourself with chicken cutlet.” Sue says Santana sighs and does so. “Now slap Brittany.” She says reluctantly she does so I mean she would have been fine with it but Santana couldn’t admit this to anyone but she wasn’t just in love with Rachel but she loved Brittany and Quinn and she loved Beth like her own daughter. “See? Not even a chuckle.” Sue says

“The problem is you keep trying to make a bigger and bigger spectacle. No matter how hard we try, we can’t make routine work unless you find a way to make it interesting for you. You have to find a way to top yourself.” Quinn says

“Q, you may just have a point. But to be sure, slap yourself with a chicken cutlet.” Sue says which Quinn reluctantly does

Artie wheels into the choir room covered in slushie . “Oh my god Artie.” Tina says running over

“It was awful.” Artie says

“That’s it! Screw rehearsals! This ends here and now.” Finn yells storming out of his seat. 

“We’re gonna go all Thunderdome on those guys.” Puck says

“So this is what the ladies lounge looks like on the inside.” Some kid with greasy blonde hair says as he walks into the choir room with the rest of the football team.

“This is the choir room. Now put up your fist because you and I are gonna do some dancing.” Sam says

“No I got this Sam.” Finn says

“Coach Beiste told us to come. Where is she?” Karofsky asks

“Watch it. Everyone, have a seat.” Coach Beiste says as she push her way to the front of the boys

“You too guys.” Mr Shue says. “All right New Directions let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club.” Everyone shout angrily

“Oh hell no!” Josh yells. “Do you know how much of my week allowance gets flushed down the toilet by Karofsky over there? $60 a week. No way in hell I'm working with these ass hats.”

“Hey shut your mouth English.” Karofsky says

“Hey Karofsky you wanna be like me cause I can arrange to have one of your teeth forcibly removed by my good dentist Dr Fist.” Josh says

“Are you serious? These are the guys that made Kurt transfer!” Finn yells

“And there's no way I’m sharing a choir room with some dick weed who told me that my niece should have been born a lizard baby.” Fynn says

“Seriously?” Brittany says leaning over to Fynn 

“Yeah I was changed her diaper for Quinn while she finished her lunch and Azimio and Karofsky came barging in and said ‘look it’s the lizard baby and her gay uncle’ so I fired back with ‘she ain’t a lizard baby and she is loved so no single chromosomed twat is gonna tell she is nothing but loved’ and then picked her up and walked away. Which is probably why Karofsky looks like she wants to kill me and Beth right now.” Fynn says

“I don't disagree with you guys but I talked to Coach Beiste about it and she and I both agree that the kind of bullying that David does was born out of ignorance. Having him here as difficult as it is for us, is an opportunity to show him and the rest of the guys that being in Glee Club is kind of cool— find some common ground.” Mr Shue says 

“All of you are gonna be in this Glee Club for one week, no exceptions.” Coach Beiste says

“She’s bluffing next week's championship game. Without us she has no team.” Karofsky says

“With you I have no team! You guys gotta find a way to come together or we’re gonna get our ass kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddlebag full of buckwheat.” Coach Beiste says

“If I have to stay, I’m not singing no show tunes or rock and roll by gay men in strange outfits.” Azimio says

“Do you even have any respect for music you twat?” Josh says spitting the last word

“No. None of them do. We have to show them. Rachel Puck, haven't you guys been working on something?” Mr Shue says 

“Mr Shue I got something. A Bon Jovi mashup. Me and the girls just need to get changed.” Josh says standing up

“Go ahead.” Mr Shue says

[Josh (The girls)]  
“Start me up  
Start me up”

“Tommy used to work on the docks  
Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck.  
It's tough, oh so tough”

“We gotta hold on ready or not  
You live the for the fight when that's all that you've got “

“Start me up  
We're half way there  
Oh livin' on a prayer”

“Start me up  
We'll make it I swear  
Oh livin' on a prayer”

“If you start me up (uh)  
Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got, you got  
I can't compete with riders in the other heat, yeah yeah”

“I'll make a grown man cry,  
I'll make a grown man give it a shot”

“Start me up  
We're half way there  
Oh livin' on a prayer”

“Start me up  
We'll make it I swear  
Oh, livin' on a prayer”

“Livin' on a prayer”

[instrumental break]

“Oh, we gotta hold on, ready or not  
You live for the fight when that's all that you've got”

“Start me up  
Oh, we're half way there  
Oh, livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear,  
Oh livin' on a prayer”

“Start me up  
If you start me up I'll never stop (I'll never stop)  
Livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear  
Oh, livin on a prayer”

“Oh, we're half way there  
Oh, livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear,  
Oh livin' on a prayer (we're almost there)” 

“Livin' on a prayer  
You gotta start me up”

“What the fuck was that supposed to be?” Karofsky asks before laughing with the rest of the football team

“I don’t know but it was really gay.” Azimio says

“You have no respect for music. You know what, why should I have to explain to these chromosomally challenged wankers Mr Shue?” Josh says as he turn to put his guitar down.

“You know, from back here. I'd mistake you first girl as well.” Karofsky says chuckling the snide comment was the final straw Josh runs at Karofsky using his guitar like a axe but before he could do anything Finn, Puck, Brittany and Mr Shue hold him back as Coach Beiste holds Karofsky back then it turns into total pandemonium.

“Ladies my Sue-clear weapon. Becky. Brittany… climb on up. Congratulations. You’re doing the big stunt for the big competition.” Sue says

“I don’t wanna die yet at least not until my daughter Beth learns to walk and I can prove Lord Tubbington has a drug problem.” Brittany says

“Fine. To put your toddler fist sized mind at ease we’ll do one final test run.” Sue says stuffing a Brittany sized doll into her cannon the doll is blown to pieces

“Don’t worry babe I’ll talk to Mr Shue and take care of this.” Quinn says

Mr Shue as the football team argue back and forth. Brittany wasn’t really concertanting until Mr Shue said. “Thriller and Head will Roll as a mashup.”

“We’re going to zombie camp.” Coach Beiste says

“Uh five, six, seven, eight.” Mr Shue says

Everyone begins dancing like zombies Josh and Brittany seem to already have I down while the Titans and the rest of the New Directions are struggling

“Time out.” Me Shue calls as one of the football team shoves Josh he springs right back ready to swing but Brittany simply puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes her head and he puts his fist down his hand shaking. “Okay guys it’s good but let’s … put a little life into it.” Mr Shue says

“Little bit more life in your undead dancer. You got it.” Josh says clicking his tongue and winking at him.

“Get out of your heads and into your characters.” Mr Shue. “Watch what Josh and Brittany do.” He nods at them and they give them an example. “That's exactly what I’m looking for.” Mr Shue says giving them a thumbs up “all right you're making progress guys. Take a breather and I’ll see you in the choir in five minutes, for a lesson in zombie makeup. Lead by your ghoulish good make-up artist Fynn Josh and Brittany.”

“All right Azimio try adding a neck wound and you will be perfect.” Fynn says 

“Britt you wanna go check on the girls Fynn and I got it here.” Josh says

“Yep.” Brittany says walking into the ladies bathroom. “Babe you look freaky.”

“We have a more pressing situation.” Quinn says

“Cheerios or the halftime show?” Santana says

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.” Sue says walking out of the stall

“What were you doing in there?” Quinn asks

“Enjoying the eavesdropping afforded me by the Swiss-timepiece regularity and utter silence of my 2:00 pm ninja poops. Well I typed these up for you ladies, requiring your signature, tendering your resignation from the Glee Club. Oh and Brittany here’s a note for you hand written in crayon from the Human Cannon, saying how much it misses you.” Sue says

“Coach that cannon is gonna kill Brittany and I don’t wanna be a single pansexual mom. Is depriving a daughter of her mother and committing murder really worth it for a stupid national championship.” Quinn says

“Seventh consecutive stupid national championship.” Sue says

“This is ridiculous. Brittany you do not sign anything without me there.” Quinn says

“You had quite a year last year Q. And as I recall you didn’t have such a good time out of that Cheerios uniform.” Sue says

“Ah but that’s where you’re wrong I actually had the best year of my life so I’m only still here because I wanna spend time with Brittany.” Quinn shoots back

“Ladies I’m giving you the chance right now to choose where your true loyalties lie. Choose the Cheerios, or choose the Glee Club.” Sue says walking out

Santana Brittany and Quinn ste the letter of resignation on Wills desk

“Well no one told me about her, the way she lied  
Well no one told me about her, how many people cried  
But it's too late to say you're sorry  
How would I know, why should I care?  
Please don't bother tryin' to find her  
She's not there”

“Well let me tell you 'bout the way she looked  
The way she'd act and the colour of her hair  
Her voice was soft and cool  
Her eyes were clear and bright  
But she's not there”

“Well no one told me about her, what could I do?  
Well no one told me about her, though they all knew  
But it's too late to say you're sorry  
How would I know, why should I care?  
Please don't bother tryin' to find her  
She's not there”

“Well let me tell you 'bout the way she looked  
The way she'd act and the colour of her hair  
Her voice was soft and cool  
Her eyes were clear and bright  
But she's not there”

The girls that weren’t in Cheerios whoop and cheer and laugh. “Guy real good. Awesome. Seriously. All of you football players are nailing that zombie classic on the first time out. I am impressed.” Mr Shue says

“I just don’t want to die.” Brittany says

“You don’t climb in that cannon, and that routine will be all ‘boom boom’ and no ‘pow’ and that Brittany is so 2000 and late. Here's your consent form. And as you ponder your decision, I ask you to remember that that cannon has two little baby twin cannons at home and one more on the way, and if you refuse to sign this, well those little baby cannons might just go hungry.” Sue says

“Baby cannons?” Brittany asks

“And the mama cannon has fibromyalgia, so she can’t work. Do you want us to win or don’t you?” Sue says

Brittany signs the form. “How many ‘M’ are there in the letter ‘R’?” Brittany asks

“Make an ‘X’.” Sue says

“I’m gonna die.” Brittany says staring at the cannon as Quinn and Santana walk over

“It’ll be worth it.” Santana says

“Don’t let Beth forget about me.” Brittany says looking at Quinn

“Never.” Quinn says kissing her on the top of her head.

Then Rachel comes running over. “Hey!”

“What are you doing here mi amor?” Santana asks

“Stopping the three of you from going to Sues regional competition. You guys gotta come back to the game with me.” Rachel says

“Haven’t you been paying attention? If we’re not Cheerios we’re nothing.” Quinn says

“You think that but it’s not true. You joined Cheerios to be popular but you joined Glee Club cause you loved it. Sue doesn’t care about you guys. She fine killing Brittany and depriving Quinn of the love of her life and Beth of her other mother. Tell me honestly if it didn’t hurt your rep which would you choose?” Rachel asks them

“Glee Club.” Brittany says

“Glee.” Quinn says

“Screw her, she put me at the bottom of the pyramid.” Santana says

“Come we only got a few minutes left.” Rachel says

“No time for a lesbian foursome ladies bus leaves in five.” Sue says

“We quit.” Santana says

“You can’t quit it’s blood in blood out. Now get your sweet little cans on that bus.” Sue says

“Yeah but we still quit.” Quinn says

“If you leave I have no performance!” Sue yells after them as they walk away

“Sucks for you.” Brittany says

The Glee Club and all Titans except Karofsky with zombie make up and coarse matted hair Josh with his guitar

“Off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head”

“It's close to midnight  
And something evil's lurking in the dark  
Under the moonlight  
You see a sight that almost stops your heart  
You try to scream  
But terror takes the sound before you make it  
(Heads will roll, Heads will roll)  
You start to freeze  
As horror looks you right between the eyes  
You're paralyzed”

“'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike  
You know it's thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer thriller tonight”

“Off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
(Thriller tonight)”

“You hear the door slam  
And realize there's nowhere left to run  
You feel the cold hand  
And wonder if you'll ever see the sun  
You close your eyes  
And hope that this is just imagination  
(Heads will roll, heads will roll)  
But all the while  
You hear the creature creepin' up behind  
You're out of time”

“'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl  
Thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight”

“Off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
(Thriller tonight)”

“Darkness falls across the land  
The midnight hour is close at hand  
Creatures crawl in search of blood  
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood  
And though you fight to stay alive (Off with your head)  
Your body starts to shiver (Dance 'til you're dead)  
For no mere mortal can resist (Heads will roll, Heads will roll)  
The evil of the thriller (Heads will roll on the floor)”

“'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost could ever dare try  
Thriller, thriller night  
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow!”

“Off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head  
D-dance-dance-dance 'til you're dead  
O-off-off-off with your head”

The crowd and players chant brains causing the opposition to fumble the snap and the Titans to win the game. When they do Brittany kisses Santana and when she does she feel fireworks just like when she kisses Quinn reloading her mistake she pulls away

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Brittany says running away what she didn’t know was that Santana saw fireworks as well and she just needed a chance to tell Brittany and Quinn that she loved them too


	11. Silly Little Love Songs

Chapter 11 Silly Little Love Songs

“Quinn I have to tell you something.” Brittany says

“I know you kissed Santana at the game last week.” Quinn says

“You’re not mad?” Brittany says

“No, because I kissed Rachel and when I did I saw fireworks.” Quinn says

“I did too when I kissed Santana but when I kissed her it was like when I kiss you.” Brittany says

“All right guys I have one words for you.” Mr Shue says. “Brittany?”

“Is it love? Totally gonna graduate now:” Brittany says

“Valentine's day is coming up, so for this week's lesson, I want you guys to pick a partner, because you’re gonna sing to them what you think is the world's greatest love song. Yeah find a song that communicates all the things that love means to you. Now partner up.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue say you had romantic feelings for more than one person person in this club?” Brittany asks

“Then sing to all of them.” Mr Shue says

Brittany gives Quinn a knowing look.

Everyone argues about Finns merits for setting up a kissing booth and why Santana is a bitch

“Josh I need your help.” Brittany says

“Yeah what’s up?” Josh says

“I need you to help me cerinate three individual. I have a song. I need the boys' help and especially your help.” Brittany says

“What song did you choose?” Josh asks as Brittany hands a piece of paper. “Oh my. That’s risqué.” Josh says

“I know but it’s how I feel and one fo these girl has it all going on in the back.” Brittany says

“Look I’ll talk to the guys.” Josh says

“You are a star.” Brittany says walking away

“Are you gonna take me home tonight?  
Oh, down beside that red firelight  
Are you gonna let it all hang out?  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round”

“Hey!  
I was just a skinny las   
Never knew no good from bad  
But I knew love before I left my nursery  
Left alone with big fat Fanny  
She was such a naughty nanny  
Hey, big woman, you made a bad boy out of me  
Hey hey!”

“I've been singing with my band  
Across the water, across the land  
I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way  
But their beauty and their style  
Went kind of smooth after a while  
Take me to them lordy ladies every time”

“Come on!  
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?  
Oh, down beside your red firelight  
Oh, and you give it all you got  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round”

“Hey, listen here!  
Oh, I got mortgages on homes  
I got stiffness in my bones  
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you  
Oh, but I still get my pleasure  
Still got my greatest treasure  
Heap big woman, you done made a big man out of me  
Now get this!”

“Are you gonna take me home tonight, please?  
Oh, down beside that red firelight  
Are you gonna let it all hang out?  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round, yeah  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round  
Get on your bikes and ride!”

“Ooh yeah, oh yeah, them fat bottomed girls  
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Ohh ride 'em cowboy!  
Fat bottomed girls, yes, yes” everyone expect Quinn Santana and Rachel leave as Brittany puts her guitar down. “Look I’m gonna day it Santana when we kissed it was like fireworks.” Brittany says

“Yeah but why did you sing to us?” She aks

“Because I love you. When Finn mentioned a Poly ship name at Butt and Caroles wedd I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore so I waited for something like this to ask you guys to go poly with us.” Brittany says

“But why that song? Of course I wanna go poly with you. I love Beth like a daughter anyway and you guys are the most important people to me. But why that song specifically?” Santana asks

“Because you got it all going on back there.”  
Brittany says

“Rachel your being uncharacteristically quiet.” Rachel says

“That’s cause I’ve already made up my mind ever since you found me in that parking lot covered in egg I have felt that way about you the way Brittany and the courage to sing about.” Rachel says

“So is that a yes?” Quinnakss

“Of course it’s a yes!” Rachel yells before planting a searing kiss on each of the girls lips

“Whoo!” Brittany yells pulling off her hat.

“You guys wanna get dinner on Valentines Day?” Santana asks

“Of course.” Rachel says

“Come on, we're late for class.” Rachel says picking up her book bag

“This is gonna be tough.” Santana sighs picking up her backpack

Artie and Mike ain’t for Tina well mostly Mike with Tina providing back up

“You know you  
You make me feel,  
So good inside.  
I will want a girl cause,  
Like you.  
P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing)  
Ooooouh”

“Where Did You Come From bady  
And Ooh Won’t You Take Me There  
Right Away Won’t You Baby  
Tendoroni You’ve Got To Be  
Spark My Nature  
Sugar Fly With Me”

“Don’t You Know Now  
Is The Perfect Time  
We Can Make It Right  
Hit The City Lights  
Then Tonight Ease The Lovin’ Pain  
Let Me Take You To The Max”

“I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)  
Pretty Young Thing  
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)  
Tender Lovin’ Care  
And I’ll Take You There  
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)  
Pretty Young Thing  
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)  
Tender Lovin’ Care  
I’ll Shake You There”

“Anywhere You Wanna Go”

“Nothin’ Can Stop This Burnin’  
Desire To Be With You  
Gotta Get To You Baby  
Won’t You Come, It’s Emergency  
Cool My Fire Yearnin’  
Honey, Come Set Me Free  
Don’t You Know Now Is The Perfect Time  
We Can Dim The Lights  
Just To Make It Right  
In The Night  
Hit The Lovin’ Spot  
I’ll Give You All That I’ve Got”

“I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)  
Pretty Young Thing  
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)  
Tender Lovin’ Care  
And I’ll Take You There  
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.)  
Pretty Young Thing  
You Need Some Lovin’ (T.L.C.)  
Tender Lovin’ Care  
I’ll Shake You There”

“Pretty Young Thing uuuuu  
Pretty Young Thing ah  
Pretty Young Thing uuuu  
Pretty Young Thing ah,ah,ah,ah”

“Pretty Young Things, Repeat After Me  
I Said Na Na Na  
Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na  
I Said Na Na Na  
Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na  
Na Na Na Na”

“Mr Shue I got my song for my beautiful girlfriends. Yes, that 's right I said girlfriends plural.” Santana says. “I can't fight this feeling any longer  
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow  
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger  
I only wish I had the strength to let it show  
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever  
I said there is no reason for my fear  
Cause I feel so secure when we're together  
You give my life direction  
You make everything so clear”

“And even as I wander  
I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window  
On a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might”

“And I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever”

“Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
Come crashing through your door  
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore”

“My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you  
I've been running round in circles in my mind  
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl  
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find”

“And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight  
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might”

And I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
It's time to bring this ship into the shore  
And throw away the oars, forever”

“Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
I've forgotten what I started fighting for  
And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
Come crashing through your door  
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore” then she climbs the seats and kissing each of them passionately and giving them all tongue everyone whoops at the display of affection by Santana

“Good job Santana and congratulations on your new relationship.” Mr Shue says

Josh sits down at the piano stool “this is a very special song to me and Fynn. Can anybody find me somebody to love?

“Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can barely stand on my feet  
(take a look at yourself)  
Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord, what you're doing to me”

I have spent all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!  
Somebody (somebody), somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

“I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life  
I work 'til I ache my bones  
At the end (at the end of the day) I take home (takes home) my hard-earned pay all  
(goes home on his own) on my own”

“I go down (down) on my knees (knees)  
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)  
'Til the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord, somebody (somebody), somebody (please)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?”

“(he works hard) everyday (everyday)  
I try, and I try, and I try”

“But everybody wants to put me down  
They say I'm goin' crazy  
They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
I got no common sense (he's got)  
I got nobody left to believe in  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”

“Oh, Lord  
Somebody (somebody), somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
(Can anybody find me someone to love)”

“Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)  
I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright, he's alright)  
I ain't gonna face no defeat  
I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
One day (someday) I'm gonna be free, Lord!”

“(Find me somebody to love)  
(Find me somebody to love)  
(Find me somebody to love)  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Find me, find me  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Find  
(Find me somebody to love)  
(Find me somebody to love, love, love)  
Find me, find me  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Somebody to love  
(Find me somebody to love)  
(Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody)  
(Somebody find me, somebody find me somebody to love)”

“Can anybody find me somebody to love”

“(Find me somebody to love)  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Find me, somebody, somebody  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Somebody, somebody to love  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Ooh, somebody to love  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Find me, find me, find me somebody to love  
(Find me somebody to love)  
Anybody, anywhere, anybody, find me somebody to love  
Love, love, love, love  
Find me, find me, find me, yeah”

“No it’s time to see what the world greatest love song means to Miss Tina Cohen-Chang.”

In the middle of Tina's song Quinn rolls off her chair and onto the floor. When she wake up in the nurse office she see three very worried looking girlfriends. “Quinn you have mono.” Brittany says

“And Rachel got it too.” Santana says

“How did you too not get it?” Quinn asks

“I’ve had Mono so many times it turned it into stereo.” Santana says

“And I just got lucky.” Brittany says suddenly she drops to the floor

“Or not.” Santana says catching her other blonde girlfriend as she tumbles to the floor.

“Ow.” Brittany groans as she come round

“Well I’ll change our Breadstixs reservation for after you guys are not sick.” Santana says pulling her phone out of her back pocket and speaks indistinctly into her phone.

“My head hurts.” Rachel says groaning

At Breadstixs post polygamous mono outbreak

“You know I’m really glad we’re now all immune to mono.” Brittany say sipping her Coke

“To being immune to mono.” Quinn says putting her glass up

“Cheers.” Rachel says

“To the best night ever.” Santana says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay the poly chip has begun and that does mean no one man Bieber band. And I have a suprise for you after all this book is over I love done the Concert film and then a bit afterwards as well


	12. Blame it on the alcohol

Chapter 12 Blame it on the alcohol

“Sound awful is anyone actually going?” Santana asks Brittany

“Let’s find out.” Brittany says phoning Artie. “Did you hear?”

“Yes Mercedes just told me.” Artie says. “Tell them yourself I ain’t no pony express.”

“You’re going right?” Mercedes asks

“Only if there’s liquor because lord knows I love our little Jewish girlfriend but a Rachel Berry party is not something I can do sober.” Santana says

“But it’s honey it’s alcohol awareness week.” Brittany says as she links hands with Quinn who’s holding her phone next to both of them

“Exactly and I am aware of how much fun alcohol is. Let’s ask Puckerman.” Santana says

“You’re go for Puck.” Puck says answering the phone

“Puckerman it’s Fabrittana and Artcedes. Can your friend score us some wine coolers?” She asks

“No but his fake ID can.” Puck says

“Then it’s settled the Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravagance is officially a go.” Mercedes says as they all hang up the phone

“Josh what did I say no sitting on anything!” Rachel yells at Josh as he takes a swig of his alcohol free beer.

“Shut up Berry.” Josh says after setting his beer down.

Awesome party Rache but Fynn and I have dinner reservations.” Josh says lying trying to get out of the party

“Rachel you have to let Puck and I break into your dad's liquor cabinet.” Santana says

“Screw it let’s party!” Rachel yells

Santana does a body shit on Brittany before falling over in fits of laughter 

“You like them more than me. They’re blonde and awesome and so smart! Admit it! Just admit it! No. Kiss me!” Santana yells getting all weepy and kissing Rachel

Even josh broke his sobriety in order to fit in and was currently laughing at Fynn trying to play his guitar drunk.

While Quinn was yelling at Brittany for ruining her body while Brittany strips for Quinn, Rachel and Santana. Rachel was hanging all over Santana and the other ladies. “Let’s play spin the bottle!” Rachel yells

Brittany spins the bottle and it lands on Josh. “Just a reminder I owns those luscious red lips.” Santana says. 

“And I owns that 6 feet of hair and bone and not much else really.” Fynn says as the two kiss

“”You know what this is not? Hey honeys. It's not a Big Red commercial. No me gusta.” Santana says as the two pull apart.

“My turn!” Rachel yells she spins and it lands on Quinn. “Quinney I’m gonna rock your world.” They kiss. “It tastes like popping candy. At is point Brittany passes out so Santana carries her upstairs and put her in Rachel’s bed and climbing into bed with her fully clothed and kisses her nose

All the member of the new directions stand around Artie's wheelchair as he holds a flask all of them are wearing sunglasses. “How about some Bloody Marys yall?” Artie asks holding up the flask

“Are you kidding me? The last thing I wanna do is drink.” Mercedes says

“It’ll help you hangover. That’s what Bloody Marys are for. Hair of the dog that done bite your ass.” Josh says passing out cups and filling them with the Bloody Mary in Arties flask

[Artie:]  
“Blame it on the goose  
Got you feeling loose  
Blame it on Patron  
Got you in the zone  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol”

[Artie:]  
“Ay she say she usually don’t  
But I know that she front  
Cause shawty know what she want  
But she don’t wanna seem like she's easy”

[Puck:]  
“I ain’t saying what you won't do  
But you know we probably gonna do  
What you been feeling deep inside  
Don’t lie now”

[Mercedes:]  
“Boy, what you drinking?  
Gonna let sink in  
Here for the weekend  
Thinking  
We can  
See what we can be if we press fast forward  
Just one more round and you’re down I know it”

[Artie:]  
“Fill another cup up  
Feeling on yo butt what ? You don’t even care now  
I was unaware how fine you were before my buzz set in, before my buzz set in….”

[Chorus:]  
“Blame it on the goose  
Got you feeling loose  
Blame it on Patron  
Got you in the zone  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the vodka  
Blame it on the henny  
Blame it on the blue top  
Got you feeling dizzy  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol”

[All:]  
“Blame it on the goose  
Got you feeling loose  
Blame it on Patron  
Got you in the zone  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol”

“Blame it on the vodka  
Blame it on the henny  
Blame it on the blue top  
Got you feeling dizzy  
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol  
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol”

[Artie & Tina:]  
“Now to the ballas popin bottles  
With their Henny in their cups  
Screaming money ain’t a thang  
If it ain’t throw it up in the skyyy (sky)  
And hold your dranks up highhhh (high)”

[Puck & Santana:]  
“And to my independent mamas  
Who can buy their own bottles  
If you looking like a model  
When them broke fellas holla  
Tell them byeee (bye)  
Hold your drinks up highhhh (high)”

[All:]  
“You can blame it on the Goose, got you feelin loose  
Blame it on the Tron, got you in the zone  
Blame it on the al al al al al alcohol (blame it on the al al al al al alcohol)  
Blame it on the Vodka  
Blame it on the Henney  
Blame it on the Blue Top, gotcha feelin? dizzy  
Blame it on the al al al al al alcohol, blame it on the alcohol”

As they finish the number Josh attempts to ramp his skateboard and throws himself into the seat. He turns himself over with his sunglasses askew. “I’m okay!” He yells he cracks his shoulder and rolls it. “Much better.”

As Mr Shue I talk about the danger and why that song isn’t appropriate. Josh starts laughing at Mr Shue's butt chin and Santana starts crying at Mr Shue’s statistics

“I can’t believe you kissed Quinn and said it stars like popping candy.” Santana says laughing

“What was that about?” Brittany asks

“Well her lip gloss tasted like popping candy when I kissed plus I was incredibly drunk.” Rachel says

“Too much talking, not enough making out.” Quinn says from her spot underneath Rachel

“Sorry baby.” Then Beth can be heard over the baby monitor.

“I got it.” Brittany says dragging herself away from Santana

“Mr Shue why did I get an A+ I got almost every question wrong?” Brittany asks

“I may have graded these papers drunk.” Mr Shue says

“You guys I’m really nervous. Ke$ha has been a cultural icon for weeks, I really wanna do her music justice.” Brittany says

“We haven’t had enough rehearsal.” Sam says pulling on his beanie

“Or any at all.” Josh says pulling on his denim jacket with patches he’d collected from gay pride parades all over the country he pulls on his signature aviatiors which were a staple of his outfit last year

“And most of assembly performances usually end with shit getting thrown at us. I mean last time we performed for the students a teacher threw a shoe at me.” Fynn says putting on his on sunglasses

“Never fear teammates. Now it’s a Broadway tradition for nervous performers to take shot of whiskey before going on to calm their nerves and mask the stench of bad dental hygiene. In that tradition I’ve mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail of what was left in my dads’ liquor cabinet. There some brandy and vermouth and port wine and scotch in here and also a little bit of Kool - Aid and some crumbled up Oreos.” Rachel says

“Babe this tastes like cough syrup.” Santana says gagging.

“Meh I once ate cat vomit once you taste that everything else is pretty tame in comparison.” Josh says chugging his drink.

“You ate cat vomit?” Brittany says looking at him

“Yeah tasted like chicken.” Josh says

“You’re disgusting.” Brittany says grimacing

“Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy (Hey, what up girl?)  
Put my glasses on, I'm out the door - I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go)  
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack  
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back0

“I'm talking - pedicure on our toes, toes  
Trying on all our clothes, clothes  
Boys blowing up our phones, phones  
Drop-topping, playing our favorite CD:s  
Pulling up to the parties  
Trying to get a little bit tipsy”

“Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
'Til we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh  
Woah-oh oh oh”

“Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
'Til we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh  
Woah-oh oh oh”

“Babe I don’t feel good.” Brittany says

“Power through it.” Rachel says  
“You build me up  
You break me down  
My heart, it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
You got me now  
You got that sound  
Yeah, you got me”

“You build me up  
You break me down  
My heart, it pounds  
Yeah, you got me  
With my hands up  
Put your hands up  
Put your hands up”

“Now, the party don't start until I walk in”

“Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
'Til we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh  
Woah-oh oh oh.” At this point Fynn just pukes on Josh’s jacket and Brittany pukes on Rachel who then runs off stage and Santana pukes in her hands.

“Everybody drink responsibly.” Josh says as he attempts to wipe the vomit off his jacket.

“We’re probably gonna get suspended.” Puck says

“I think you’ll definitely get suspended. You’ll probably all get suspended.” Mr Shue says

“Oh you’re on to talk why don’t you crack a Four Loko, Count Boozy Von Drunk-a-ton.” Santana says

“William? Glee Club? I have on word for you. Congratulations. Those special effects at the assembly really paid off! I had no idea what brilliant musical comedy performers you all had become. The kids at this school are scared straight. Today is the first day in a month without a single act of public drunkenness at McKinley High! And as a thank you here are coupons for half off frozen yogurt. Yum.” Principal Figgins says as they all chuckle know that they were all drunk at the time of the performance.

“I’m torn. Part of me never wants to drink again because it made me so sick but if it weren’t for drinking the assembly would have been a disaster.” Brittany says

“I for one am never drinking again. Babe when you threw up on me it did something to me.” Rachel says shuddering at the thought

“Yeah I’m going back to sobriety because when Fynn puked on me it was like a switch was thrown in my brain reminding me why I quit drinking in the first place.” Josh says

“All right guys, while I'm happy things worked out this time with the assembly, I never want to see you pull another stunt like that again. Drinking while performing is unprofessional. Drinkong while at school is just stupid, and, most importantly, any of you guys drinking at all is just illegal.” Mr Shue says

“Fair amount of pot calling the kettle black right now.” Quinn says

“I couldn’t agree more. Which why zoom gonna stop drinking. Not even a beer at the end of night to take the edge off.” Mr Shue says

“But you don’t drink, what will you have to live for?” Santana asks

“I have plenty in my life without beer.” Mr Shue says

“Like what exactly?” Mercedes asks

“The point is I’m going to stop. And I hope you guys do too.” Mr Shue says

“Isn’t kind of unrealistic?” Tina asks

“Yeah. Honestly, I think it is. Which is why I’m only going to ask you to do it until after Nationals. Consider yourself like prize fighters ready for the heavy weight world title.” Mr Shue says

“Or a rock group playing Madison Square Gardens.” Josh suggests

“Exactly. Now these are pledge forms. And I want you guys to sign them.” Mr Shue says 

“And what if we fall off the wagon again?” Puck asks

“Look in the top corner of your form. That’s my cell phone number. Part of your pledge is that if you do slip up, no matter where you are or what time of night it is, I want you to call me to drive you home. We got lucky that this time the only consequences of your drinking was Josh’s jacket got ruined and some ill-timed drunken vomit. None of us wants to see any of you guys get hurt.” Mr Shue says

They all agree to sign it. 

“What about after we win Nationals?” Finn asks

“Then I’m buying the sparkling cider.” Mr Shue says

Then Josh puts his hand up. “Mr Shue I just thought of a great song for the occasion.” Josh say

“Not another Queen song.” Puck groans

“No I’m branching out now this song from 1973 is about going back to your roots or in our cases the roots of why we felt the need to drink excessively.” Josh says as he strikes the piano notes. “When are you gonna come down  
When are you going to land  
I should have stayed on the farm  
I should have listened to my old man”

“You know you can't hold me forever  
I didn't sign up with you  
I'm not a present for your friends to open  
This boy's too young to be singing the blues”

“So goodbye yellow brick road  
Where the dogs of society howl  
You can't plant me in your penthouse  
I'm going back to my plough”

“Back to the howling old owl in the woods  
Hunting the horny back toad  
Oh I've finally decided my future lies  
Beyond the yellow brick road”

“What do you think you'll do then  
I bet that'll shoot down your plane  
It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics  
To set you on your feet again”

“Maybe you'll get a replacement  
There's plenty like me to be found  
Mongrels who ain't got a penny  
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground”

“So goodbye yellow brick road  
Where the dogs of society howl  
You can't plant me in your penthouse  
I'm going back to my plough”

“Back to the howling old owl in the woods  
Hunting the horny back toad  
Oh I've finally decided my future lies  
Beyond the yellow brick road”


	13. Original Songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note Josh’s original song is my own creation so don’t steal or I will set a honey badge in you to tear off you testicals anyone who gets that referenced drop a comment

Chapter 13 Original Song

Josh walks in to the choir room and begins singing. “Hey, kids, shake it loose together  
The spotlight's hitting something  
That's been known to change the weather  
We'll kill the fatted calf tonight  
So stick around  
You're gonna hear electric music  
Solid walls of sound”

“Say, Candy and Ronnie. Have you seen them yet?  
Ooh, but they're so spaced out  
Bennie and the Jets  
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful  
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen  
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit  
You know I read it in a magazine  
Bennie and the Jets”

“Hey, kids, plug into the faithless  
Maybe they're blinded  
But Bennie makes them ageless  
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along  
Where we fight our parents out in the streets  
To find who's right and who's wrong”

“Oh, Candy and Ronnie. Have you seen them yet?  
Ooh, but they're so spaced out  
Bennie and the Jets  
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful  
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen  
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit  
You know I read it in a magazine  
Bennie and the Jets”

“Oh, Candy and Ronnie. Have you seen them yet?  
Ooh, but they're so spaced out  
Bennie and the Jets  
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful  
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen  
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit  
You know I read it in a magazine  
Bennie and the Jets” he spins on his toe and the strikes a pose

“Excellent Josh this is the kind of spontaneous performance we need. But this week we’re gonna do original songs for Regionals.” Mr Shue says

“I worked really hard to get that down.” Josh buffs sitting down. “But Mr Shue's, right, original song works really well. Right them from your strong suit. For example ‘my hands I can’t stop the shakes but I can control them’. I wrote that during my withdrawal symptoms.” Josh says 

“So push yourself and try something a little different. Write songs for instruments you're not as comfortable with.” Mr Shue says

“I got something else from my sexuality contemplation days. For every scar I earned I learned a lesson  
For every lesson I learned I earned a scar”

“Some cut deep down right to the bone  
Some were just flesh wounds  
But they all look the same  
The words you use cut just as deep as the knives you wield”

“From Birmingham to Brighton I earned every scar  
Each path I walked was a new destiny  
My destination is the same as yours home  
The long way round”

“Regrets I’ve had quite few  
But then again I could mention quite few”

“What do you call that?” Santana asks

“I earned these scars.” Josh says 

“So you want us to write original songs? We’re gonna be worse than the other groups.” Mercedes says

“You’re right we’re not gonna be as good. We’re gonna be better. Our songs are gonna be bigger and better than others” Quinn says

“That’s what she said.” Josh yells causing Brittany to spray water out of her nose so hard she starts having a nose bleed

“Come on man.” Santana says putting tissue on her nose and pinching hard.

“Sorry.” He says rubbing the back of his neck.

“Rachel, can we write a song together?” Quinn says chasing after the small girl 

“Sure I thought we all could write song.” Rachel says as they walk up to Brittany and Santana who ah w their backs to them they turn around and their covered in dirt

“Oh my god guys what happened?” Quinn asks

“Sue fill our lockers with dirt. Don’t open your locker without a litter picker to do the locker combo.” Brittany says

“Where’s Beth?” Rachel ask

Then a small squeal was heard from under the layer of mud on Santana’s chest. “I’m gonna go clean Santana and Beth up.” Rachel says

“I’ll clean Brittany up.” Quinn says as they dive into the girls locker room thankful it was empty. “You know it was right here I discovered my feelings for you guys 8 months pregnant with one of my future girlfriends crying having just been egged by her ex-boyfriend.” Quinn says running her finger through Brittanys long blonde hair

“We’re gonna miss rehearsal. I discovered my feelings when I kissed Santana at the championship game.” Brittany says

“I discovered my feelings when I fell down the stairs and hit my head.” Santana says

“I discovered my feelings when I went to the dentist.” Rachel says

“Sorry we missed rehearsal Mr Shue.” Rachel says

“It’s okay. I’m sorry that you guys got dirt bombed by Sue.” Mr Shue says

“This is just the first as well to quote ‘I got nothing but time’ so yeah this isn’t the end.” Santana says

“So what are guys wearing to prom?” Quinn asks they walk down the hall

“I got a tweed jacket, a shirt suspenders, jeans and a pair of boots.” Brittany says

“I got a tux but to spice it up I’m wearing a black converse high tops.” Santana says

“This is my dress.” Quinn says pulling her picture out

“And this is mine.” Rachel says, pulling out her own photo. “Did you hear Kurt met a guy?” 

“No. Is he nice?” Quinn says

“Yeah his name Blaine.” Rache says

“So you guys think we should apply to be Prom King and Queen?” Quinn asks

“Sure why not.” The others say

“Cool I’ll put Britt and Tana for king and Rachel and I for queen that way even if two lose at least two will win.” Quinn says

“Are we all riding together and arrive together as a foursome?” Santana asks

“Yeah I’m not ashamed to tell people your girlfriends.” Rachel says

“Yeah I’m not ashamed to admit that we are polyarmourus relationship.” Quinn says

“Yeah me either.” Brittany says

“I’m not ready to tell my parents or more specifically my grandmother.” Santana says

“I’m not ready to tell my parents either.” Quinn says

“I don’t wanna tell my dads either.” Rachel says

“I’m not on speaking terms with my parents.” Brittany says

“Come on we’re gonna be late for Glee Club.” Rachel says dragging them into the choir room.

“Mama said get your ass out of bed  
I said hell to the no  
Said wash your grandma's nasty head  
I said hell to the no”

“They tried to take away my tots  
I said hell to the no  
Yeah, 'cause I'm the one that calls the shots  
And I say hell to the no”

“Try to make me change my weave  
Well I got something up my sleeve  
It's a whole lot of”

“Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I said  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I'm not trying to diva out  
But this shows gotta stop so shout  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no”

“Tell me I should eat my wheaties, you know what  
Hell to the no (Hell to the no)  
Tell me I'll come down with diabetes  
Hell to the no (Hell to the no)”

“Try to make me change my eats  
But baby that just isn't me  
I'm a whole lot of”

“Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I said  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I'm not trying to diva out  
But this shows gotta stop so shout  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no”

“Take me you can leave me but I won't ever change  
If you don't like the rules don't play my game  
Talk to me to get R-E-S-P-E-C-T, but if I don't, it's all in me”

“Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I said  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I'm not trying to diva out  
But this shows gotta stop so shout  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no  
I'm not trying to diva out  
But this shows gotta stop so shout  
Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Hell to the no-no, no-no, no-no, no-no”

“Awe, hell to the no…”

“Mercedes. Really really good. But um…”

“But my butt Mr Shue. That song was amazing.” Mercedes says

“Mr Shue I finished my song.” Josh says pulling out his guitar

“Go ahead.” Mr Shue says

For every scar I earned I learned a lesson  
For every lesson I learned I earned a scar

Some cut deep down right to the bone  
Some were just flesh wounds  
But they all look the same  
The words you use cut just as deep as the knives you wield

From Birmingham to Brighton I earned every scar  
Each path I walked was a new destiny  
My destination is the same as yours home  
The long way round

Regrets I’ve had quite few  
But then again I could mention quite few  
And love it’s made  
My life it’s been real tough

Always thought that my life would have love  
But sometimes it had a lack thereof  
Sometimes I set the bar too high  
And it left more than a few scars

From Birmingham to Brighton I earned every scar  
Each path I walked was a new destiny  
My destination is the same as yours home  
The long way round

“Mercedes, Josh those song where amazing there just not regionals material. What’s your favourite song of all time?”

“Bohemian Rhapsody.” Josh says

“My Headband.” Brittany says

“Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know.” Santana says

“What’s Going On Marvin Gaye.” Puck says

“Radio Ga Ga.” Fynn says

“And what are all those songs about?” Mr Shue asks

“That's the point of Bohemian Rhapsody. It ruins the mystery of everything explained. Freddie said ‘true poetry is for the listener’ that’s the point of music you allow the listeners to build up an image. But go on Mr Shue.” Josh says

“All these songs come from a place of pain. The greatest song are about hurt, and that’s the side of yourselves I want you to get in touch with.” Mr Shue says

“That should be easy. Coach Sylvester tortures us for no reason and tries to get the entire school to hate us.” Artie says

“Yesterday she filled mine Britts and Quinn’s lockers with dirt showering me and Britt I dirt and nearly killing Beth.” Santana says

“Okay, okay slow down. Slow down.” Mr Shue says as he writes dirt on the board

“She literally threw sticks at me.” Mercedes says

“She stood on my replica Elton John glasses.” Josh says

“She threw a stone at my car.” Fynn says

Mr Shue writes them down. “Okay and how does that make you feel?” Mr Shue asks

“Pretty shitty but it just goes right off me now.” Josh says

“I believe we have our song.” Mr Shue says underlining the word losers. “Now let’s get to writing.” Mr Shue says

“Plan Rachel works on the music with Fynn and I and then writes the lyrics with Brittany and Quinn.” Josh says

“I like this plan.” Rachel says as Josh picks up his guitar

“I think that’s as good as it's gonna get.” Josh says putting his pencil down.

“I agree.” Rachel says

At Regionals after the Warblers and Aural Intensity perform its the New Directions

“What have I done?  
I wish I could run  
Away from this ship going under  
Just trying to help  
Hurt everyone else  
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders”

“What can you do when your good isn't good enough  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions  
Keep making a mess of things  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?”

“Can I start again, with my faith shaken?  
Cause I can't go back and undo this  
I just have to stay and face my mistakes  
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this”

“What can you do when your good isn't good enough?  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?”

“So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air  
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair  
Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer  
And finally someone will see how much I care”

“What can you do when your good isn't good enough?  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?  
To get it right?” A stagehand gives Rachel a hand free microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen we are the New Directions.” Rachel says then Josh plays an upbeat pop rock intro

[RACHEL & SANTANA]  
“Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero (Huh)  
But hey, everyone you wanna be  
Probably started off like me  
You may say that I'm a freak show (I don't care)  
But hey, give it just a little time  
I bet you're gonna change your mind”

[RACHEL & FINN]  
“All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way  
It ain't so hard to take, that's right  
Cause I know one day you'll be screaming my name  
And I'll just look away, that's right”

[NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the worst you've got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out  
You wanna be, you wanna be a loser like me  
A loser like me”

[FINN & BRITTANY]  
“Push me up against the locker  
And hey, all I do is shake it off  
I'll get you back when I'm your boss  
I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters  
Cause, hey, I could be a superstar  
I'll see you when you wash my car”

[RACHEL & FINN]  
“All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way  
It ain't so hard to take, that's right  
Cause I know one day you'll be screaming my name  
And I'll just look away, that's right”

[NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the worst you've got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out  
You wanna be, you wanna be a loser like me  
A loser like me  
A loser like me”

[NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth (Yeah)  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the worst you've got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out  
You wanna be, you wanna be a loser like me  
Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth (Yeah)  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the worst you've got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out  
You wanna be, you wanna be a loser like me”

Mike wheels out a slushie machine and each New Direction takes a cup and throws it into the crowd showering them in red confetti.

“(A loser like me)  
A loser like me  
(A loser like me)  
A loser like me”

Finn attempts to hug Rachel which she awkwardly returns and Santana shouts daggers at him.

“And now to announce our winner Lieutenant Governor Stevens wife Carla Turnlington Stevens!” The PA guy says

“My husband is verbally abusive.” She says slurring her words

“She’s drunk.” Josh whispers to Brittany

“Definitely.” She whispers back

“And the winners are The New Directions!” She says

They scream shout and then Santana very unceremoniously kissing each girl slipping them a serious amount of tongue the Sue walks up and punches the head judge

“I still can’t believe Sue punched the head judge.” Josh says fiddling with wires in his amp as Brittany hands him a screwdriver 

“What are you two doing?” Santana says snaking her arms round Brittany's back

“Well my amp blew several fuses at Regionals so I’m replacing the fuses.” Brittany says as josh has a screwdriver between his teeth

“Guess who said their first word when I was changing their diaper?” Santana says taking Beth out of the sling across her chest

“Oh my god she spoke?” Brittany says

“Yeah I got it on video.” Santana says showing Brittany the video of Beth saying ‘mama’

“Miss Holliday sends her best and can’t wait to congratulate you all in person when she gets back from her meditation retreat. Now we all know winning Regionals was a team effort and Nationals isn’t going to be any different. But like in sports, every winning team has a player that rises above and to help carry their teammates to victory — the MVP. And I would like to start a tradition of honouring that player after everyone of our competitions. So per a unanimous vote by all of you our Regionals MVP is Mr Josh Constantine. For pushing to do original songs for Regionals you are the MVP of Regionals.” Mr Shue says handing him the trophy


	14. Rumours

Chapter 14 rumours

“Hi I’m Brittany S. Pierce, and this is my new internet talk show Fondue For Two, which combines the two things I love most. Hot cheese and talking to people.” Brittany says

“Brittany babe this cheese smells like Lord Tubbingtons vomit and it’s not supposed to still be boiling.” Rachel says

“My first three guest are my wonderful girlfriends Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, and Santana Lopez.” Brittany says sitting down

“And you're sure our parents aren't gonna see this?” Santana asks while subtlety turning off the fondue boiler

“Yes it’s not public access you have to request it cause I basically set it to say this a porn talk show.” Brittany says

“This taste like Beth's diaper smells after Rachel makes her dinner.” Santana says

“That’s offensive.” Rachel says flicking her ear

“Oh you gonna get it.” Santana says trying to lick Rachel

“That’s all we have for today. We will be back again next week with my friends Fynn and Josh and their take on LGBT rights. Goodbye.” Brittany says

In the hallway

“God Josh you're so stupid.” Fynn says

“I can’t believe you’d call me that!” Josh says storming away

In his rage Fynn discovered his song form Rumours. “He broke down and let me in  
Made me see where I've been”

“Been down one time  
Been down two times  
I'm never going back again”

“You don't know what it means to win  
Come down and see me again”

“Been down one time  
Been down two times  
I'm never going back again”

“Oh man. Not good.” Santana says walking in

“Santana what’s wrong?” Rachel asks

“My parents want me to be perfectly okay with us but my grandmother says she wants nothing to do with me.” Santana says

“Okay when is it?” Brittany asks

“Tonight.” Santana says

“Okay well we’ll get all dolled up and put on suits and dresses and get Beth looking cute. And we’ll tell your parents and formally introduce them to their first grandchild.” Quinn says

“Okay? My dads wanna meet Beth as well.” Rachel says

“My mom wants to meet you all as well.” Quinn says

“We’ve got several dinners over the next few days.” Rachel says

“My parents and I are still at an impasse about our parenting style.” Brittany says

“Mami papi. This Beth.” Santana says holding up the little blonde girl

“Hello Mi nieto.” Santana's mother says

“I’m really glad you guys accept me. I don’t care what Abuela has to say about me. I'm in love. Mom dad these are my girlfriends. This is Quinn the biological mother of Beth. This is Rachel but you already met her. And this is Brittany, the other biological mother of Beth. Remember when I said that I met someone who was just as special as me well that’s Brittany she’s just like me they're all very important to me. Now did I tell you how we’re going to New York? We wanted to ask you if you’re going to watch on the telly?” Santana asks

“Of course mi amor.” Santana’s father says

“Mom this is Quinn, Santana and Rachel the women I love and if you can’t accept me then I don’t care why you want me to break up with them.” Quinn says

“I would never stand in the way of love.” Judy says 

“And you’ll watch us on the tv right?” Quinn asks

“Of course and you’re taking Beth right?” Judy asks

“No we wanted to ask you to watch her.” Rachel says

“Of course.” Judy says

“Dads these are my girlfriends Brittany and Quinn conceived Beth in a night of passion that lead to this and you already met Santana and we love each other.” Rachel says

“As we always tell you baby love is love and we will always accept whoever love.” Hiram says hugging each girl.

“I’m not entirely sure how BEth was conceived though?” Leroy says

“Brittany and Santana are intersex.” Rachel whispers

“Ahhh.” Leroy says

“So dinner?” Hiram suggests

“Yes dinner.” Rachel says

“Mr Shue I picked my Fleetwood Mac song.” Fynn says

“Go ahead.” Mr Shue says

“Loving you  
Isn’t the right thing to do  
How can I ever change things  
That I feel”

“If I could  
Maybe I’d give you my world  
How can I  
When you won’t take it from me”

“You can go your own way  
Go your own way  
You can call it  
Another lonely day  
You can go your own way  
Go your own way”

“Tell me why  
Everything turned around  
Packing up,  
Shacking up’s all you wanna do”

“If I could  
Baby I’d give you my world  
Open up  
Everything’s waiting for you”

“You can go your own way  
Go your own way  
You can call it  
Another lonely day  
You can go your own way  
Go your own way”

“Wonderful. Alright guys well we’ll be back next week.” Mr Shue

“Hey guys I wanted to get them out of the motel.” Sam says walking in with his brother and sister. “I was also hoping that maybe they could help out with the number today. I have the perfect song I wanna sing for them. And don’t worry Mr Shue it’s good for the assignment.” Sam says

“The more the merrier.” Mr Shue says clapping him on his shoulder

“Don't stop! Don't stop!”

“If you wake up and don't want to smile,  
If it takes just a little while,  
Open your eyes and look at the day,  
You'll see things in a different way.”

“Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,  
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,  
It'll be, better than before,  
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.”

“Don't stop! Don't stop!”

“Why not think about times to come,  
And not about the things that you've done,  
If your life was bad to you,  
Just think what tomorrow will do.”

“Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,  
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,  
It'll be, better than before,  
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.”

“Don't stop! Don't stop!”

“All I want is to see you smile,  
If it takes just a little while,  
I know you don't believe that it's true,  
I never meant any harm to you.”

“Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,  
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,  
It'll be, better than before,  
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.”

“Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,  
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,  
It'll be, better than before,  
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.”

“Don't you look back,  
Don't you look back,  
Don't you look back,  
Don't you look back…”

“Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow!”


	15. Prom Queen

Chapter 15 Prom Queen

“Brittany, your daughter has crapped all over my suit.” Josh says storming into the choir room.

“So wear the other one.” Brittany says shrugging

“But it’s my favourite suit and it goes so well with my shoes.” Josh says

“Stop being a baby and suck it up, there's a week until prom get the suit cleaned.” Fynn says coming up behind him

“Fine. And I’m getting a haircut” He huffs

“No, I like long hair.” Fynn says running his finger through his long brown hair

“I know but change is good. No one's gonna she my hair till the big night cause I’m getting my haircut the day before prom” Josh says

“All right guys prom.” Mr Shue says

“Please tell me we’re not doing songs about prom.” Sam says

“Nope. We are the prom. Figgins has asked us to perform in Air Supply’s place.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue can me, Santana, Brittany and Quinn do Sergeant Pepper?” Kirt and Rachel asks

“I’m gonna do Little Less Conversation.” Josh says

“Yes you can both do your respective songs.” Mr Shue says. “But we’re gonna stagger so you all can enjoy the dance as well.”

Mercedes gets up and walks out. “Mercedes doesn’t have a date.” Quinn says

“I’m gonna go talk to Mercedes.” Kurt says standing up

“All right ladies let’s practice.” Rachel says

[Rachel]  
It was twenty years ago today  
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play

[Quinn]  
They've been going in and out of style  
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile

[Rachel and Quinn]  
So may I introduce to you  
The act you've known for all these years  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

[Rachel, Quinn, Santana and Brittany]  
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
We hope you will enjoy the show  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
Sit back and let the evening go  
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

[Rachel with Quinn]  
It's wonderful to be here  
It's certainly a thrill  
You're such a lovely audience  
We'd like to take you home with us  
We'd love to take you home

[Santana & Brittany, (Brittany)]  
I don't really want to stop the show  
But I thought that you might like to know (Whoa)

[Santana & (Brittany)]  
That the singer's going to sing a song (Ooh)

[Santana & Brittany]  
And he wants you all to sing along  
So let me introduce to you  
The one and only Billy Shears

[Rachel, Quinn, Santana and Brittany (Brittany)]  
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Yeah!)  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Oooh!)  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club

[Rachel & Quinn with Santana]  
(Hey!)

“Ladies we are ready.” Quinn says

“Definitely. We are the Lonely Hearts Club Band and we have found love.” Santana says

“Quinney your dates are here.” Judy yells up the stairs as Santana, Brittany and Rachel wait for her. Santana checks her breath, Brittany straightens her bow tie and Rachel check her makeup in the hall mirror

”Britt, do you have a breath mint?” Santana asks

“Yeah.” Brittanys says pulling one out of the inside of her jacket pocket.

“Thanks.” Brittany says as Quinn descends down the stairs

“Quinn you look ….” Rachel says struggling to find the right words

“Dashing.” Brittany says

“Perfect.” Santana says

“The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.” Rachel says

“Picture time.” Judy says

“Hey Fynn. Where’s Josh?” Brittany says walking over to Fynn 

“He’s late.” Fynn says

“Which means you haven’t seen his haircut.” Brittany says

Then Josh walks in with his suit and pulls off his sunglasses for regular glass dotted with faux gems but there’s something different about him he’s now devoid of most of his hair and his hair looks like Elvis. “Holy crap when you said a hair cut I thought you were getting like a bit off the ends not most off your hair and looking like Elvis.” Brittany says

“Don’t you like it?” Jobs asks

“No I love it. You look like Elton John before she went bald.” Fynn says chuckling

“Crap we’re up to sing.” Rachel says

[Rachel]  
“It was twenty years ago today  
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play”

[Quinn]  
“They've been going in and out of style  
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile”

[Rachel and Quinn]  
“So may I introduce to you  
The act you've known for all these years  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band”

[Rachel, Quinn, Santana and Brittany]  
“We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
We hope you will enjoy the show  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
Sit back and let the evening go  
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band”

[Rachel with Quinn]  
“It's wonderful to be here  
It's certainly a thrill  
You're such a lovely audience  
We'd like to take you home with us  
We'd love to take you home”

[Santana & Brittany, (Brittany)]  
“I don't really want to stop the show  
But I thought that you might like to know (Whoa”)

[Santana & (Brittany)]  
“That the singer's going to sing a song (Ooh)”

[Santana & Brittany]  
“And he wants you all to sing along  
So let me introduce to you  
The one and only Billy Shears”

[Rachel, Quinn, Santana and Brittany (Brittany)]  
“And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Yeah!)  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Oooh!)  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club”

[Rachel & Quinn with Santana]  
“(Hey!)”

Then Josh climbs up on stage peering over the top of his aviators at Fynn. “When I look back boy I must have been green  
Bopping in the country, fishing in a stream  
Looking for an answer trying to find a sign  
Until I saw your city lights honey I was blind”

“They said get back honky cat  
Better get back to the woods  
Well I quit those days and my redneck ways  
And oh the change is gonna do me good”

“You better get back honky cat  
Living in the city ain't where it's at  
It's like trying to find gold in a silver mine  
It's like trying to drink whisky from a bottle of wine”

“Well I read some books and I read some magazines  
About those high class ladies down in New Orleans  
And all the folks back home well, said I was a fool  
They said oh, believe in the Lord is the golden rule”

“They said, get back, honky cat  
Better get back to the woods  
But I quit those days and my redneck ways  
And, ooh, oh, the change is gonna do me good  
(Ooh, baby)  
They said, get back, honky cat  
Better get back to the woods  
Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways  
And, oh, oh, the change is gonna do me good”

“They said stay at home boy, you gotta tend the farm  
Living in the city boy, is going to break your heart  
But how can you stay, when your heart says no  
How can you stop when your feet say go”

“You better get back, honky cat  
Better get back to the woods  
Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways  
And, ooh, oh, the change is gonna do me good  
You better get back, honky cat  
Living in the city ain't where it's at  
It's like trying to find gold in a silver mine  
It's like trying to drink whisky, oh, from a bottle of wine”

“Oh yeah, get back, honky cat  
Get back, honky cat, get back  
Get back, honky cat  
Get back, honky cat, get back  
Oh, get back, honky cat, get back  
Get back, honky cat  
Oh yeah, redneck ways and”

“I thought you’d said you were doing Elvis.” Brittany says

“Yeah I changed my mind.” Josh says shrugging and taking sip of his drink

“Rach can we talk about something?” Brittany says turning to her

“What’s up?” Rachel says a nervous look spreading over her face

“Next year we want you to join the Cheerios with us.” Santana says

“I wanna see your legs and not just when I’m between them.” Quinn says

“Of course I’ll join the Cheerios anything to spend more time with my amazing polyamorus girlfriends.” Rachel says kissing each of them.

“Attention will the candidates for Prom King and Queen please get her on the stage. The votes are in. This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for, where we announce our junior prom King and Queen. Roll the drum please. And this year junior Prom King is … David Karofsky! And now … your 2011 McKinley High Prom Queen … with an overwhelming number of write in votes is … Kurt Hummel.” Principal Figgins says and the room goes deathly silent as Kurt runs out and Santana and Quinn run off stage.

Rachel and Brittany catch up with Quinn and Santana in the choir room crying. “Girls, look, we know you’re upset.” Rachel says

“Upset is an understatement I’m devastated.” Santana says wiping the tear out of her eyes

“Which is why we bought these.” Brittany says as they pull out a pair of crowns. “We don’t care what the vote says your our prom King and Queen. As Freddie Mercury once said ‘let’s dance’ have an amazing night.” She says throwing her hands up

“But let’s also support Kurt.” Quinn says 

“Definitely.” The other three say nodding in agreement

As Kurt walks back in the only people clapping are Quinn, Brittany, Santana and Rachel as he says. “Eat your heart out Kate Middleton.” The other begin to clap and chuckle most not understand the comment

“And now behold the tradition of our 2011 Prom King and Queen sharing their first dance.” Figgins says 

“My King may I have this dance?” Rachel ask in her upper class British accent holding out her hand to Santana

“You may.” Santana says taking it answering in her own British accent

“My most dashing Queen May I have this dance?” Brittany asks in her own British accent

“You bloody may well.” Quinn answers in a British accent

Mercedes and Josh stand on the stage and sings as Kurt dances with Blaine “Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for a place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king”

“Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high.” Mercedes and Josh dip the mic stands low for the extended note “With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance”

“You are the dancing queen  
Young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat  
From the tambourine, oh yeah”

“You can dance, you can jive  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that girl, watch that scene  
Dig in the dancing queen”

“You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave 'em burning and then you're gone  
Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance”

“You are the dancing queen  
Young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat  
From the tambourine, oh yeah”

“You can dance, you can jive  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that girl, watch that scene  
Dig in the dancing queen  
Dig in the dancing queen”

“Best prom ever!” Santana yells over the music

“Totally!” Brittany yells back

“Let’s go get a photo!” Rachel yells

“And then we should swap partners!” Quinn yells

“All right!” Santana yells as they run over to the photographer


	16. Funerals

Chapter 16 Funeral

“New Directions I would like to introduce you to our new show choir consultant Jesse St James.” Mr Shue says

“I don’t trust this guy. How do we know he’s not gonna trick us into doing something so his alma mater wins?” Finn says

“I don’t think I need to do much tricking to get you to something stupid Finn.” Jesse says

“Guys Jesse is just a consultant. I still make all the calls. Now I have all of the confidence in the world in you guys. I think we could use a little help. Because… this is it. We’ve been working so hard for two years for this moment that it's finally here. Now I was talking with Jesse and he agreed that we should continue our successful trend of doing original songs for the competition. I was thinking one group number and one duet.” Mr Shue says

“Rachel and I can sing a duet.” Finn says

“Finnocent what makes you think that Rachel wants to sing a duet with you?” Santana asks shooting Finn a dirty look.

“Whatever.” Finn says shooting her one back

“I agree that Rachel should sing lead but what about quartet? Brittany, Finn, Josh and Rachel.” Jesse says

“I dig it.” Josh says

“We need to help her. She’s overwhelmed . She needs us to help her.” Finn says

“Seriously? I’d like to the ‘fun’ back in ‘funeral’ just as much as the next girl, but why would the Glee Clib help Coach Sylvester plan a service?” Santana asks

“Because I know how emotional taxing it can be when you have to plan a family members funeral especially when you were really close to that person when my dad died it broke me but it broke my mom even more.” Josh says

“We’re not doing it for Sue; we’re doing it for her sister.” Kurt says

“Jean is just like us guys. I mean she’s been an outsider and an underdog all of her life. We of all people should stand up and celebrate that.” Finn says

“Can I say something? When someone dies yes yes it’s a tragedy, but it’s also a part of life. But you can’t let death put your life on hold. Now I don’t mean to be blunt, but I don’t think you should be planning a funeral the same week you should be focusing on the setlist for Nationals.” Jesse says with his usual air of arrogance.

“Seriously? Jean was the most important person to Coach Sue so take your faux arrogance and put your ideas for Nationals on hold because I know what it's like to lose the most important person to you.” Josh says

“All right New Directions put on your Sunday best cause we are planning a funeral.” Mr Shue says standing up

Brittany loops the tie over the head and ties the knot in it as Quinn was doing her minimalist makeup

“Welcome to the most unusual funeral that I have attended. Which makes sense because Jean was the most unusual person that I ever had the pleasure of spending every Sunday for the last 30 years with. I think that Jean’s sister Sue would like to say a few words.” The minister says

Sue pulls a pair of paper out and puts on her glasses. “I miss my sister. Every night at 10:00 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why … she’d tell me her body told her … she wanted to hear my voice.” Sue says before she starts to cry Josh stands up and walks to were Sue is puts comforting arm on her shoulder and continues to read what Sue wrote

“I miss my sister. The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her, they’re a part of you. It’s like you're attached by an invisible tether, and no matter who far away you are, you can walk and feel them. And now everytime I reach for that tether, I know there’s no one on the other end, and I feel like I’m falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean. I remember a life lead with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I’m inspired … to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten seconds is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can’t and I won’t, and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I’m just going to miss her. I love you Jeanie. Rest in peace.” Josh says before hugging the now crying Sue

“This was Jean’s favourite song.” Finn says

Sam and Mike click on a tape as Tina says “Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three.”

[KURT]  
“Come with me, and you'll be  
In a world of pure imagination”

[FINN]  
“Take a look, and you'll see  
Into your imagination”

[TINA]  
“We'll begin with a spin  
Traveling in the world of my creation”

[ARTIE]  
“What we'll see will defy explanation”

[TINA & NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“If you want to view paradise  
Simply look around and view it  
Anything you want to, do it  
Want to change the world?  
There's nothing to it”

[TINA]  
“There is no life I know  
To compare with pure imagination”

[KURT]  
“Living there, you'll be free  
If you truly wish to be”

“Thank you.” Sue says

“God I hate funerals.” Rachel says wiping off her make up

“Yeah I feel sorry for Coach Sue. God I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for Sue.” Santana says wiping her eyes

“You’re actually getting better at your feelings.” Quinn says hugging the Latina

“Weddings are much more fun.” Brittany says undoing her tie

“Oh Mr Shue, thank god you're here to put these trolls out of their misery. Can you just announce my win so that can get on with teasing the losers?” Santana says

“I heard your performance Santana. This is mine and you know it.” Kurt says

“See Jessie? This is the kind of infighting and ‘me first’ attitude that I wanted to avoid.” Mr Shue says

“What you call infighting I call motivation. And this is just the beginning. Once we get to Nationals, I’ll have them willing to kill each other for that solo.” Jesse says

“No. I’ve changed my mind. We’re going back to what got us here, original songs sung by the entire club. We’re a team, and we’re best when we work as one.” Mr Shue says

“You’re going to lose.” Jesse says

“Whatever we do, we’re going to do it together.” Mr Shue says

“Actually Santana you sounded pretty good.” Kurt says leaning over

“Thanks. You guys were all pretty dope too. Especially Rachel.” Santana says

“I wish I sound like you do sometimes Santana. I mean how do you get that raspiness?” Rachel says

“So nice. I smoke cigars.” Brittany and Quinn shoot her dirty looks. “Not around Beth.” She adds throwing her hands up

“You big softie.” Brittany says wrapping her arms around Rachel’s neck

“All right guys time to get to work. Now I want to hit songs by the time the wheels touch down in JFK.” Mr Shue says holding up a rhyming dictionary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New York the tour a trip and then senior year


	17. New York

Chapter 17 New York  
Every sit on the red steps in time square eating sandwiches. “A year and half ago, the New Directions were nothing but a group of six misfits stumbling their way through a horrific rendition of ‘Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat’ now here we are at the top of show choir heap: Nationals!” Kurt says 

“I want to hit up Central Park, get my frolic on.” Tina says

“I want to throw stuff off the Brooklyn Bridge.” Puck says

“I wanna ride the subway.” Josh says

“Dude we’re in New York the World Trade Centre and the Empire State Building are here and you wanna ride the subway, seriously?” Brittany says looking at him

“In London I used to ride around on the Tube to write songs and trains help me think.” Josh says pulling you his notebook

“Guys, we still have two songs to write.” Finn says

“Okay Mr Bossy Pants. But it’s kind we have time for a tune before we leave.” Kirt says. “Start spreading the news  
I’m leaving today  
I want a be a part of it  
New York, New York”

“Guys I have news. To celebrate our impending win at Nationals, I got us all 14 tickets to Broadway's longest running show ever, Cats!” Rachel says and Brittany whoops

“Babe you might wanna check the dates on those tickets because Cats closed about 11 years ago.” Quinn says

“He did seem crazy. Charged my credit card by swiping it through his buttcrack.” Rachel says shuddering at the thought

“Did you know that I can get an ahi tartare and steak sandwich at 3:00 in the morning from their all might dining menu? I feel like Eloise” Kurt says

“I have pills for that.” Brittany says

“All right guys this is your time. Now you are all on lockdown till you finish writing our songs for Nationals. I want at least two solid verses by the time I get back.” Mr Shue says 

“Aren’t you going to help us?” Tina asks

“I will be back and read your amazing creations and give notes but right now I have to head to the theatre to fill out some paperwork.” Mr Shue lies 

“Let’s get start.” Fynn says pulling a drum machine and filling around with some beats as Josh messes around with some riffs with Puckerman

“In the middle of the night, I'm in bed alone  
Don't care if you're glass, paper, styrofoam  
When I need some water, baby, coffee or gin  
You're the only thing, I wanna put them in”

“My cup, my cup  
Sayin' what's up to my cup, my cup  
More of a friend than a silly pup, my cup  
You know what it is  
I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)  
I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)  
I'm sayin' what's up to my cup (Ahh)”

“Hold on. Are you singing about a cup?” Tina asks

“Yeah totally.” Brittany answers

“We got to get out of here.” Quinn says pick up her coat

“Babe no. Mr Shue gave clear instructions…” Rachel dys

“To write a song and our problem is our only inspiration are mattress and bathroom cups.” Quin says

“Don’t you hear the city calling.” Josh says

“We don’t need to write songs for Nationals. New York’s gonna write them for us.” Quinn says as Johs pulls on his platform shoes and and grabs his skateboard

“Let’s go!” He yells his hand reaching for the door handle as he pull his glasses out his jacket pocket.

“Dude how many pairs of glasses do you have?” Brittany asks

“I have a pair of glasses for everyday of the week and every occasion.” He says as they run down the stairs. “That silver attaché case has about 50 pairs of glasses in them.” 

“Fucking hell.” Quinn says as she catches up with two on the street

[FINN]  
“I don't like cities  
But I like New York”

[SANTANA]  
“The famous places to visit are so many”

[FINN]  
“Other places  
Make me feel like a dork”

[SANTANA]  
“I told my grandpa I wouldn't miss on any”

[ARTIE]  
“Los Angeles is for  
People who sleep”

[MERCEDES]  
“Got to see the whole town right from Yonkers on down to the Bay”

[ARTIE]  
“Paris and London  
Oh baby you can keep”

[SANTANA]  
“Baby you can keep”

[MERCEDES]  
“Baby you can keep”

[FINN & RACHEL with NEW DIRECTIONS (NEW DIRECTIONS)]  
“Other cities always make me mad  
Other places always make me sad  
No other city ever made me glad  
Except New York, New York  
It's a wonderful town (New York)”

[ARTIE with NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“I love New York”

[ARTIE & MERCEDES with NEW DIRECTIONS, (NEW DIRECTIONS)]  
“I love New York (New York, New York)  
I love New York (New York, New York)  
New York, New York”

[FINN]  
“If you don't like my attitude  
Then you can get lost”

[SANTANA (with NEW DIRECTIONS GIRLS)]  
“(Manhattan women) are dressed in silk and satin”

[FINN (with NEW DIRECTIONS BOYS)]  
“(Just go to Texas) isn't that where they golf”

[SANTANA (with NEW DIRECTIONS GIRLS)]  
“(There's just one thing that's) important in Manhattan”

[ARTIE]  
New York is not for little wussies who scream

[NEW DIRECTIONS GIRLS]  
“AAAHHH!”

[MERCEDES]  
“Pick up a date  
Maybe seven or eight”

[ARTIE]  
“Paris and London  
Oh baby, you can keep”

[MERCEDES with SANTANA]  
“Baby, you can keep”

[NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“Baby, you can keep!”

[FINN & RACHEL with NEW DIRECTIONS (NEW DIRECTIONS), {MERCEDES}]  
“Other cities always make me mad {Make me mad}  
Other places always make me sad {Make me mad}  
No other city ever made me glad  
Except New York, New York  
It's a wonderful town (New York)”

[ARTIE with NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“I love New York”

[ARTIE & MERCEDES with NEW DIRECTIONS, (NEW DIRECTIONS)]  
“I love New York (New York, New York)  
I love New York (New York, New York)”

[BRITTANY with NEW DIRECTIONS GIRLS]  
“We've sailed the seas  
And we've been the world over  
Made the Mandalay  
We've seen the Sphinx  
And we've seen the Cliffs of Dover  
And we can safely say”

[RACHEL]  
“New York!”

[FINN & RACHEL with NEW DIRECTIONS, (MERCEDES)]  
“Other cities always make me mad (Ow!)  
Other places always make me sad (New York!)  
No other city ever made me glad except New York, New York  
It's a wonderful town (New York)”

[ARTIE with NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“I love New York”

[ARTIE & MERCEDES with NEW DIRECTIONS (FINN & RACHEL with NEW DIRECTIONS), {ARTIE with NEW DIRECTIONS}, (MERCEDES)]  
“I love New York (New York, New York)  
{I love New York} (New York now, New York now)  
I love New York  
(New York, New York)  
(New York, New York)”

[MERCEDES]  
“New York now”

[FINN & RACHEL with NEW DIRECTIONS]  
“New York, New York!”

In the girls room a pillow fight seems to I’ve broken out with Rachel being the only one working.

Rachel comes back to the room to find only Brittany

“Santana took Quinn to get her hair cut cause she was in a funk.” Brittany says

“Have you got anything good written?” Rachel asks

“No.” She says sadly

“All right guys who’s up for some real New York City … pizza?” Mr Shue asks walking in the door

“We heard.” Quinn says

“Heard what?” Mr Shue asks confused

“About you leaving to be on Broadway.” Mercedes says

“Look I haven’t made up my mind about anything.” Mr Shue says setting the pizzas down

“We get it and we’re happy for you.” Kurt says

“And you know what they say the show must go on.” Josh says

“You’ve inspired us in so many ways so … this is just another.” Rachel says

“I don’t understand. Who told you guys?” He asks

“Goolsby.” Tina says

“You okay Mr Shue?” Tina asks

“I’m not going. I’m staying with you guys. I had my moment on the stage and it was glorious. But you and I … have some unfinished business to take care of. Now get out your notebooks. Time to get to work. Come on this Nationals people.” Mr Shue says

“We made it. We’re one of the top 50 show choirs in the nation. Tomorrow only 10 will move onto Showcase, where they’ll vie for the National Championships.” Rachel says squealing

“We have so got this.” Kurt says enthusiastically

“Okay usually I’m pretty cautious about getting your hopes up but honestly guys? I think we got a really good shot at winning this thing. All right everybody put your hands in the middle.” Mr Shue says

“New Directions!” They yells

“Face to face and heart to heart  
We're so close yet so far apart  
I close my eyes I look away  
That's just because I'm not okay  
But I hold on, I stay strong  
Wondering if we still belong”

“Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls  
Will we ever have our happy ending?  
Or will we forever only be pretending?  
Will we always, always, always be pretending”

“How long do I fantasize  
Make believe that it's still alive  
Imagine that I am good enough  
And we can choose the ones we love  
But I hold on, I stay strong  
Wondering if we still belong,”

“Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls  
Will we ever have our happy ending?  
Or will we forever only be pretending?  
Will we always, always, always be”

“Keeping secrets safe  
Every move we make  
Seems like no ones letting go  
And it's such a shame  
Cause if you feel the same  
How am I supposed to know?”

“Will we ever say the words we're feeling  
Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls  
Will we ever have our happy ending?  
Or will we forever only be pretending?  
Will we always, always, always be  
Will we always, always, always be  
WIll we always, always, always be pretending?”

And then Finn kisses Rachel and it take all of Santana self control and all of Quinn and Brittany strength to stop her from killing Finn. Rachel push him away

“Hey hey hey  
You and me keep on dancing in the dark  
It's been tearing me apart  
Never knowing what we are”

“Hey hey hey  
You and me keep on trying to play it cool  
Now it's time to make a move  
And that's what I'm gonna do”

“Lay it all down  
Got something to say  
Lay it all down  
Throw your doubt away  
Do or die now  
Step on to the plate  
Blow the door wide open like up up and away”

“Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight  
You gotta give up the bark and bi-I-ite  
I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight  
Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up  
Light it up tonight”

“Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight  
You gotta give up the bark and bi-I-ite  
I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight  
Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up  
Light it up tonight”

“Hey hey hey  
You and me turn it up 10, 000 watts  
Tell me why we gotta stop  
I just wanna let it rock”

“Hey hey hey  
You and me keep on staring at the road  
Like we don't know where to go  
Step back, let me take control”

“Lay it all down  
Got something to say  
Lay it all down  
Throw your doubt away  
Do or die now  
Step on to the plate  
Blow the door wide open like up up and away”

“Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight  
You gotta give up the bark and bi-I-ite  
I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight  
Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up  
Light it up tonight”

“Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight  
You gotta give up the bark and bi-I-ite  
I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight  
Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up  
Light it up tonight”

They walk over to the top ten for Showcase

“I’m too nervous to look.” Rachel says meanwhile Santana isn’t even looking at the board she look like she wants to pull one of the razor in her hair out and slash Finn’s throat 

“I’ll go.” Mr Shue says

“What did we place?” Josh asks

“Well Mr Shue? Say it, what did we rank?” Fynn asks

“We didn’t. I’m so sorry guys. We aren’t in the top ten.” Mr Shue says

Back at the hotel room

“You wanna kiss my girlfriend Jolly Green Giant?” Santana says storming into the hotel room. This time Quinn and Brittany do nothing to stop her. There were two thuds and a splatter thud one was Santana punching Finn in the nose the splatter was the blood splurging out of Finns nose and the second thud was as his body hit the fall unconscious. Puck and Sam pick him up and carry him downstairs to the nearest hospital.

“I am incredibly turned on right now.” Rachel says shoving her tongue down Santana throat


	18. Tour and a question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0FHGLaAIsOUd9Y7hpWVvnh?si=ubTa9gWsSTedZk2OkVbWwA Here’s the playlist for the concert
> 
> Also Fynn’s shirt would say ‘drums like crazy’ and Josh’s would say ‘can’t dance but can shred’

Mr Shue walks into the choir room and sets down a pad of paper “Alright guys. Principal Figgins wants us to promote the Glee Club so he got in contact with a touring company and we are doing a national tour and then a European tour and then ending with two nights in London. Every night for the American tour is already sold out. So Brittany, Josh, Fynn, Rachel pick two songs you’ve done in Glee and we’ll work them into the set list. Santana Quinn, Kurt pick one song you wanna do we’ll work then in as well.” Mr Shue says

“Alright I got my two.” Josh says

“Go on.” Mr Shue says taking out a piece of paper

“Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus and Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance. The second one being a duet with Brittany.” Josh says

“I’ve got my two songs.” Fynn says Mr Shue nods. “Tie Your Mother Down by Queen and We Will Rock You again by Queen both of which I will be playing the guitar.” Fynn says

“And I will be doing Slave 4U and Fat Bottomed Girls. Mike Sam Josh can you guys play back up?” Brittany asks all three nod

“Don’t Rain On My Parade and Fireworks.” Rachel says

“All right guys I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mr Shue says

“Brittany, can we talk?” Josh says pushing Brittany into an empty classroom

“Sure what’s up?” Brittany says cheerfully

“In London I wanna do Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles.” Josh says

“Why?” Brittany asks

“Cause I wanna ask Fynn to marry me.” Josh says before pulling a small velvet box out of his jacket pocket.

“Ohhhhhhh my god seriously I’m so happy for you.” Brittany says hugging him

“So you want me to ask Mr Shue if you and I can do ‘Here Comes The Sun' as a duet in London?” Brittany says slightly confused

“Yes.” Josh says plain and simple

“All right.” Brittany says

“Mr Shue I have to ask you something.” Josh says as they walk into the choir room

“Go ahead.” Mr Shue says looking up

“Can Brittany and I do Here Comes The Sun on the last night of London.” Josh says

“Sure I’ll put it in.” Mr Shue says

“Can you not tell Fynn it’s a surprise.” Josh says

“You got it. Although Brittany I’ll have to get rid of Slave 4U.” Mr Shue says

“Fine.” Brittany says

They’d been across the world Finn had been asked to sign a baby on two separate occasions a fact that they were never going to let him live down Josh had received a box of cigars which Fynn had immediately conficasted he’d also received a second guitar a white and yellow misshapen body with six inline tuning pegs it was beautiful in every sense of the word Gibson explorer so he’d shipped his Gibson Les-Paul home and continued the tour using the fans gift it had a nice sound also Josh and Santana had nearly been mugged in Rome and Quinn and Fynn had nearly been in a car accident in Paris now they were in London

“Ah home sweet home.” Josh says twirling in Trafalgar Square

“So this is home? It looks worse than I remember babe.” Fynn says

“Shit we’re late for interview on the One Show!” Santana exclaims

In the BBC One City Studios

“On the show we have some very special guest currently dominated the world stage it’s some members of a small town Glee Club please welcome Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, Josh Constantine and Fynn Sargaent.” Alex Jones says

“Hi Alex.” Josh says shaking his hand

“So how are you enjoying London? I know Josh and Fynn you’re from here but ladies how are you finding it?” Alex asks

“Well it’s good the Tube is confusing but thank god Josh is here.” Santana says

“And you and Josh were mugged in Rome, correct?” Alex asks

“Yes Alex. We were.” Santana says

“And Finn Hudson he’s been asked to sign not one but two babies, is that right? And Josh you received a new guitar off a fan is that right?” Alex asks

“Yes something we have teased him about consistently during the tour.” Rachel says

“Yes a Gibson explorer so I shipped Gibson Les-Paul home.” Josh says

“And it’s the last night tonight?” Alex asks

“Sadly yes it is. But I promise you this will be better than any other show but that’s my secret to keep.” Josh says

“Sadly that’s all we have time for. But remember that you guys will be able to purchase this tour on DVD. Is that correct?” Alex asks

“Yes. And we’ve had a great time during this whole tour. And we’ll be sad to see it end.” Quinn says

In the O2 Arena Green room

Rachel is practicing vocal runs in her dressing room until Santana sneaks up behind her and grabs her. “Hey babe. Put me down.” Rachel squeals

“You sound lovely.” Brittany says walking in the room. “If you practice anymore you're not gonna be able to sing on stage and it's London tonight. Oh by the way just sent a video of Beth saying she misses us. We have to send her one back telling her we miss her too.” Brittany says as Quinn walks in and kiss each of them

Brittany sits down on the sofa and picks up her guitar. She plays the guitar riff from Fat Bottomed Girls then her hands start to shake “hey babe what's with the shaky hands?” Quinn asks

“I'm terrified.” She answers. “What if I trip over or I play the wrong notes?”

Then the alarm buzzes “show time. Come on you're gonna be great.” Quinn says dragging her out of the changing room

Rachel Kurt Mercedes Tina and Finn stand on stage as the song starts Josh rolls on stage on his signature skateboard playing the don't stop believing riff then the rest if New Direction walk out and Fynn stands up from behind his drum set

Finn:  
“Just a small town girl  
Livin' in a lonely world  
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere”

Rachel:  
“Just a city boy  
Born and raised in south Detroit  
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere”

Finn:  
“A singer in a smoky room”

Rachel:  
“A smell of wine and cheap perfume”

Finn and Rachel:  
“For a smile they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on  
Strangers waiting  
Up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night  
Streetlights people  
Living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night”

Rachel:  
“Working hard to get my fill  
Everybody wants a thrill”

Finn and Rachel:  
“Payin' anything to roll the dice just one more time”

Rachel:  
“Some will win”

Finn and Rachel:  
“Some will lose  
Some were born to sing the blues  
Oh, the movie never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on  
Strangers waiting  
Up and down the boulevard  
Their shadows searching in the night  
Streetlight people  
Living just to find emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night”

Finn and Rachel with New Directions:  
“Don't stop believin'  
(Finn and Rachel: Hold on to that feelin')  
Streetlight people  
Don't stop believin'  
(Finn and Rachel: Hold on to that feelin')  
Streetlight people  
Don't stop!”

“What's up everybody?” Finn says

Rachel:  
“Sing it out: boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings  
Finn: Sing it out: girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs  
Rachel: For every time that they want to count you out  
Both: And use your voice every single time you open up your mouth”

New Directions!:  
“Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls  
Every time that you lose it, sing it for the world  
Sing it from the heart, sing it 'til you're nuts  
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts  
Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind  
Sing about everyone that you left behind  
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world (Ahhh)”

“Sing it out: boy, they're gonna sell what tomorrow means (Oooh)  
Sing it out: boy, before they kill what tomorrow brings  
You've got to make a choice if the music drowns you out (Music drowns you out)  
And raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth”

“Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls  
Every time that you lose it. sing it for the world  
Sing it from the heart, sing it 'til you're nuts  
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts  
Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind  
Sing about everyone that you left behind  
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world”

“Cleaned-up, corporation progress  
Dyin' in the process  
Children that can talk about it  
Livin' on the railways  
People movin' sideways  
Sell it 'til your last days  
Buy yourself the motivation  
Generation nothing  
Nothing but a dead scene  
Product of a white dream  
I am not the singer that you wanted, but a dancer  
I refuse to answer  
Talk about the past, sir  
Wrote it for the ones who want to get away  
Keep running!”

Josh starts jumping pumping his fist in a circular motion

“Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls  
Every time that you lose it, sing it for the world  
Sing it from the heart, sing it 'til you're nuts  
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts  
Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind  
Sing about everyone that you left behind  
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world”

“We've got to see what tomorrow brings  
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world  
Boy, you've got to be what tomorrow needs  
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world”

Everyone except Josh and Fynn walk off stage and he puts his handsfree microphone down. “Now as many of you know I am dating our esteemed drummer . And many of you also know I like no I love rock and roll. So this is my tribute to the King of Emo Punk Gerard Way.” He says, pulling out an electric guitar. With his best New Jersey accent he looks at a girl in the front row “You going my way doll?” He says slipping on his aviators

Fynn shoots him a dirty look. “Joshua Michael Johnathan Constantine stop being flirty Herard. Although everyone in the crowd can agree that red haired Gerard s so much better then bleached Gerard.” The crowds shouts ‘yes’ in agreement 

“Babe what have I told you about using my full name?” Josh says

“Not to but I won’t use your full name if you don’t flirt with anyone else.” Fynn says

“Deal. Everyone sing alone.” Josh says winking at him as he starts playing and singing. 

[Josh (The Crowd, Brittany and Fynn)]  
“Look alive, sunshine  
One-oh-nine in the sky  
But the pigs won't quit  
You're here with me: Doctor Death-Defy  
I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter  
Pumpin' out the slaughter-matic sounds  
To keep you live  
A system failure for the masses  
Anti-matter for the master-plan  
Louder than God's revolver  
And twice as shiny  
This one's for all you rock and rollers  
All you crash queens and motor babies  
Listen up!  
The future is bulletproof  
The aftermath is secondary  
It's time to do it now and do it loud  
Killjoys  
Make some noise”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Drugs, gimme drugs, gimme drugs  
I don't need it, but I'll sell what you got  
Take the cash and I'll keep it  
Eight legs to the wall  
Hit the gas, kill them all  
And we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl  
You be my detonator”

“Love, gimme love, gimme love  
I don't need it, but I'll take what I want from your heart  
And I'll keep it in a bag, in a box  
Put an X on the floor  
Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more  
Shut up and sing it with me”

“(na, na, na...)”

“From mall security  
To every enemy  
We're on your property  
Standing in V formation”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Let's blow an artery  
Eat plastic surgery  
Keep your apology  
Give us more detonation”

“(More! Gimme more! Gimme more!)”

“Oh, let me tell you 'bout the sad man  
Shut up and let me see your jazz hands  
Remember when you were a madman  
Thought you was Batman  
And hit the party with a gas can  
Kiss me you animal”

“(na, na, na...)”

“You run the company  
Fuck like a Kennedy  
I think we'd rather be  
Burning your information”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Let's blow an artery  
Eat plastic surgery  
Keep your apology  
Give us more detonation”

“And right here  
Right now  
All the way in London City  
The little children  
Raise their open filthy palms  
Like tiny daggers up to heaven  
And all the juvee halls  
And the Ritalin rats  
Ask angels made from neon  
And fucking garbage  
Scream out, "What will save us?"  
And the sky opened up”

“Everybody wants to change the world  
Everybody wants to change the world  
But no one, no one wants to die  
Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try  
Wanna try, wanna try, now  
I'll be your detonator”

“(na, na, na...)”

“London let me hear you!” 

“(na, na, na...)”

“Now let me really hear you!”

“(na, na, na...)”

“Make no apology  
It's death or victory  
On my authority  
Crash and burn  
Young and loaded”

“Drop like a bullet shell  
Dress like a sleeper cell  
I'd rather go to hell  
Than be in purgatory  
Cut my hair  
Gag and bore me  
Pull this pin  
Let this world explode”

“So what do you guys think of that?” Josh says

“That was pretty good.” Brittany says putting her guitar behind her back. “Hey Josh you wanna make out?” She asks

“Brittany my boyfriend is sitting right there and you have girlfriends, 3 of them and a daughter. So no I don't wanna make out.” Josh says

“Brittany are you flirting with my man?” Fynn snaps from behind his drum kit before throwing one of his drumsticks at her

“Buzzkill.” She groans looking at Fynn and flipping him off

“All right bounce with me.” Artie says

“Yeah I’m out that Brooklyn, now I’m down in Tribeca  
Right next to Deniro, but I’ll be hood forever  
I’m the new Sinatra, and since I made it here  
I can make it anywhere, yeah they love me everywhere  
I used to cop in Harlem, all of my Dominicano’s  
Right there up on Broadway, pull me back to that McDonald’s  
Took it to my stashbox, 560 State Strett  
Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons with them pastries”

“Eight million stories, out there in it naked  
City is a pity, half of y’all won’t make it  
Me, I got a plug, Special Ed “I Got It Made”  
If Jesus payin’ Lebron, I’m payin’ Dwayne Wade  
Three dice cee-lo, three card molly  
Labour Day Parade, rest in peace Bob Marley  
Statue of Liberty, long live the World Trade  
Long live the Kingdom, I’m from the Empire St. that’s”

“New York  
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There’s nothin’ you can’t do  
Now you’re in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York”

“One hand in the air for the big city  
Streetlights, big dreams, all lookin’ pretty  
No place in the world that could compare  
Put your lighters in the air  
Everybody say “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah”

“New York  
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of  
There’s nothin’ you can’t do  
Now you’re in New York  
These streets will make you feel brand new  
Big lights will inspire you  
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York”

Everyone runs off stage leaving just Josh on stage. “All right, before we set out on this tour Mr Shue asked us to write down some songs we'd done in Glee Club and so I put Blue Suede Shoes and Teenage Dirtbag I'll be doing that later. Now Brittany my best friend she put Slave 4U and now she put this now Brittany she can turn the most offensive rock songs into love songs and score not one but three girls. Anyway here she is the legendary rock and roller Brittany S. Pierce.” Josh says before climbing onto the drum risers and kisses Fynn full on the lips projected on the big screen like at a baseball game

“All right, who's ready to rock and roll?” Brittany calls out. “Are you gonna take me home tonight?  
Oh, down beside that red firelight  
Are you gonna let it all hang out?  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round”

“Hey!  
I was just a skinny lad  
Never knew no good from bad  
But I knew love before I left my nursery  
Left alone with big fat Fanny  
She was such a naughty nanny  
Hey, big woman, you made a bad boy out of me  
Hey hey!”

“Well get over here Britt.” Santana says as Quinn wolf whistles and Rachel blushes at the rashness of Brittany actions

“I've been singing with my band  
Across the water, across the land  
I've seen every blue eyed floozy on the way  
But their beauty and their style  
Went kind of smooth after a while  
Take me to them lordy ladies every time”

As she plays she walks over to Quinn Santana and Rachel they walk up on stage. Sam Mike and Josh leap off the drum riser Sam with his bass and Josh with his second guitar playing back up to Brittany “Come on!  
Oh, won't you take me home tonight?  
Oh, down beside your red firelight  
Oh, and you give it all you got  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round, yeah  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round  
Get on your bikes and ride!”

“Ooh yeah, oh yeah, them fat bottomed girls  
Fat bottomed girls, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Ohh ride 'em cowboy!  
Fat bottomed girls, yes, yes. Fynn Sargeant on the drum.” Brittany calls out before she kiss each of the girls on the stage

“Barbra Striesand is gonna be here tonight to hear you sing. How do you feel about that?” The cameraman asks Rachel she smiles awkwardly

“You seem overwhelmed.” He says she shakes her head

“I knew she would come.” Rachel finally says

“Which song in the tour is the most important to you?” He asks

“Well I've been singing Don't Rain On My Parade since I was two. My dads played it for me when I was in my birth mother's womb and I'm still singing it to this day. And I knew Barbra would show up.” Rachel says

“What's your favourite song someone else has sung on the tour?” He asks

“Brittany's Fat Bottomed Girls. That song is our relationship song cause she played that when she asked us out. So yeah that's my favourite song from the tour.” Rachel says

“Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter  
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter  
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade  
Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to  
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you  
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?”

“I'm marching my band out, I'm beating my drum  
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir  
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir  
I guess I didn't make it”

“But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection  
A freckle on the nose of life's complexion  
The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye”

“I gotta fly once, I gotta try once  
Only can die once, right, sir?  
Oh, life is juicy, juicy and you see  
I've gotta have my bite, sir”

“Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"  
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer  
Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade” 

“Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"  
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer  
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!”

“All right I gotta run. I'm dancing in Artie and Mike's rendition of P.Y.T.” Brittany says pulling away from Rachel she whines at the loss of closeness

“All right I'll see you in a bit.” Quinn says looking up from her nail polish

“You know you, you make me feel so good inside. I always wanted a girl just like you, such a P.Y.T.—pretty young thing, ooh…”

“Where did you come from, baby?  
And ooh, won't you take me there right away, won't you, baby?  
Tendoroni, you've got to be  
Spark my nature, sugar, fly with me”

“Don't you know now is the perfect time?  
We can make it right, hit the city lights  
Then tonight, ease the lovin' pain  
Let me take you to the max”

“I want to love you (P.Y.T.), pretty young thing  
You need some lovin' (T.L.C.), tender lovin' care  
And I'll take you there  
I want to love you (P.Y.T.), pretty young thing  
You need some lovin' (T.L.C.), tender lovin' care  
And I'll take you there”

“Pretty young things, repeat after me  
Say, na na na (Na na na)  
Na na na na (Na na na na)  
I say, na na na (Na na na)  
Na na na na na (Na na na na na)  
Ohh, take you there, take you there”

Mercedes stands on stage with a microphone. “Ain't no way for me to love you  
If you won't let me  
It ain't no way for me to give you all you need  
If you won't let me give all of me  
I know that a woman's duty is to help and love a man  
And that's the way it was planned  
Oh, but how can I, how can I, how can I  
Give you all of the things I can  
If you're tying both of my hands?”

“Oh, it ain't no way (Ain't no way)  
It ain't no way (Ain't no way)  
It just ain't no way, baby (Ain't no way)  
Ain't no way baby (Ain't no way)  
It ain't no way for me to love you”

“If you won't let me  
(Stop trying to be someone you're not)  
How cold and cruel is a man”

“Who pay too much for what he got?  
And if you need me (Oh-oh-oh) to love you, (Say) say, (Say) say you do (You do)  
Oh, then (Baby) baby, baby, baby don't you know that  
I (Don't you)  
Need (Know that)  
You (I need you)”

“Oh, Oh, it ain't no way (Ain't no way)  
I'll tell you that it ain't no way  
It ain't no way  
It ain't no way, baby, (Ain't no way)  
No  
It just ain't no way (Ain't no way)  
It sure ain't no way (Ain't no way)  
It ain't no way for me to love you  
If you won't let me”

“Now you guys remember that before I was dating Rachel Brittany and Quinn I was trying to win Rachel back from that punk Jesse St James. And one attempt was like this.” Santana says sat on the drum risers

“Jessie is a friend  
Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine  
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define  
Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine”

“And she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night  
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?”

“I played along with the charade  
There didn't seem to be a reason to change  
You know, I felt so dirty when they start talking cute  
I wanted tell her that I love her and the point wasn't moot”

“'Cause she's watching him with those eyes  
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it  
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night  
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?  
Like Jessie's girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
Where can I find a woman...  
Where can I find a woman like that?”

“And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time  
Wonderin' what she don't see in me  
I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines  
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?”

“Tell me, where can I find a woman like that?”

“You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
I want Jessie's girl  
Where can I find a woman like that?  
Like Jessie's girl  
I wish that I had Jessie's girl  
I want, I want Jessie's girl”

“Now here's one of my two blonde bombshell girlfriends Quinn Fabray.” Santana says into her microphone

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself  
And I look across the water  
And I think of all the things, what you're doin'  
And in my head I paint a picture”

'Cause since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
Won't you come on over? Stop makin' a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie?  
Valerie, Valerie, Valerie

“Did you have to go to jail, put your house all up for sale, did you get a good lawyer?  
I hope you didn't catch a tan, I hope you'll find the right man who'll fix it for ya  
And are you shoppin' anywhere, changed the colour of you hair, and are you busy?  
And did you have to pay that fine that you were dodgin' all the time, are you still dizzy?”

“'Cause since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
Won't you come on over? Stop makin' a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie?  
Valerie, Valerie, Valerie”

“Well sometimes I go out by myself  
And I look across the water  
And I think of all the things, what you're doin'  
And in my head I paint a picture”

“Cause since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess  
And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress  
Won't you come on over? Stop makin' a fool out of me  
Why don't you come on over Valerie?  
Valerie, Valerie, Valerie  
Valerie, hey  
Valerie, Valerie  
Valerie, why don't you come on over, Valerie?”

“Oh hey Quinn.” Rachel says skipping on stage and kissing her 

“Whenever I kiss you it’s like fireworks.” Quinn says

“Well that funny cause my next song is fireworks.” Rachel says “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?  
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again  
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin?  
Like a house of cards, one blow from cavin' in  
Do you ever feel already buried deep?  
6-feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing  
Do you know that there's still a chance for you?  
'Cause there's a spark in you  
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine  
Just own the night like the 4th of July”

“'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y  
Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em goin' "Oh, oh, oh"”

“You don't have to feel like a waste of space  
You're original, can not be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds  
After a hurricane comes a rainbow  
Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed:  
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road  
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow  
And when it's time, you'll know  
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine  
Just own the night like the 4th of July”

“Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y  
Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em goin' "Oh, oh, oh"”

“Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
It's always been inside of you, you, you  
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough”

“'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y  
Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em goin' "Oh, oh, oh"”

“Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon”

Brittany walks on stage. “Oh look it’s the Warbler do you think you guys can sing a few songs?” Brittany asks

“We’d love to.” Blaine says

“You think I'm pretty without any make-up on  
You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong  
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down  
Down”

“Before you met me, I was alright  
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February, you'll be my Valentine  
Valentine”

“Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I will be young forever  
You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back  
My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back”

“We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete”

“Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I will be young forever  
You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back  
My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back”

“I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight”

“Girl...  
You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back  
My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby, I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back”

“I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight”

“How we are all feeling this fine British evening.” Blaine says in a British accent. 

“I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see? (I love you)  
How can I tell you about my loved one? (I love you)  
Ah, you gave me more, you gave it all to me, so can't you see? (I love you)  
How can I tell you about my loved one?”

“You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs (Ooooh...)  
But I look around me and I see it isn't so (Ooooh, no...)  
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs (Ahhhh...)  
And what's wrong with that? (What's wrong with that?)  
I'd like to know (Like to, like to know...)  
'Cause here I go ('Cause here I go...) again! (Ba-ba-ba-pa-rap-ba...)”

“I love you, (I love...)  
I love you, (I love...)”

“I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see? (Ba-pa-ba-pa...)  
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see (Ba-pa-ba-pa...)”

Love doesn't come in a minute, (Doesn't come in a minute...)  
Sometimes it doesn't come at all, (Doesn't come at all...)  
I only know that when I'm in it, (Only know when I'm in it...)  
It isn't silly, (At all...)  
No it isn't silly, (At all)  
Love isn't silly at all, not at all

“I love you, (Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo..)  
I love you, (I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?) (How can I tell you about my loved one?)  
I love you, (Ah, you gave me more, you gave it all to me, so can't you see?) (How can I tell you about my loved one?)”

“You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs (Ooooh...)  
But I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no (Ooooh...)  
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs (Ahhhh...)  
And what's wrong with that? (What's wrong with that?)  
I'd like to know, 'Cause here I go again (bab bab bab ba bab ba)”

“I love you, (I love)  
I love you, (I love)”

“I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?  
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see  
I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, how can I tell you about my loved one?”

The crowd chants ‘another’

“Well they want another guys.” Blaine says turning to the warblers

“Let’s do it.” The Warblers say in unison

“Right right, turn off the lights  
We gonna lose our minds tonight  
(What's the dealio?)  
I love when it's all too much  
5 AM turn the radio up  
(Where's the rock and roll?)”

“Party crasher, panty snatcha'  
Call me up if you are gangsta'  
Don't be fancy  
Just get dancy  
Why so serious?”

“So raise your glass if you are wrong  
In all the right ways  
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
Won't you come on, and come on, and  
Raise your glass!  
Just come on and come and  
Raise your glass!”

“Slam slam oh hot damn  
What part of party don't you understand?  
(Wish you'd just freak out)  
Can't stop coming in hot  
I should be locked up right on the spot  
(It's so on right now)”

“Party crasher, panty snatcha'  
Call me up if you a gangsta'  
Don't be fancy  
Just get dancy  
Why so serious?”

“So raise your glass if you are wrong  
In all the right ways  
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks”

“Won't you come on, and come on, and  
Raise your glass!  
Just come on and come and  
Raise your glass!  
Just come on and come on and  
Raise your glass!  
Just come on and come and  
Raise your glass!”

“My glass is empty...  
That sucks!  
So if you're too school for cool  
And you're treated like a fool  
(Like a fool)”

“You could choose to let it go”

“(Let it go)”

“We can always, we can always  
Party on our own…”

“So raise your  
So raise your glass (glass) if you are wrong  
In all the right ways  
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
(So raise your) So raise your glass if you are wrong  
In all the right ways  
All my underdogs, (oh we we) we will never be never be!  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
(Won't you come on! and come on! and)  
Raise your glass!  
(Just come on and come on and)  
Raise your glass!  
(Won't you come on! and come on! and)  
Raise your glass!  
(For me)  
Just come on and come on and  
Raise your glass!  
(For me)”

“Now I'd like to introduce a very special friend of mine. Josh Constantine.” Blaine says as Josh rolls down the stage on his skateboard

“Thanks Blaine by the way Kurts looking for you.” Josh says kicking his skateboard up into his hand

“Thanks man.” He says jogging off stage

“Anyway I said earlier that I was gonna play Teenage Dirtbag so here it is but before I start I wanna say something when we play here tonight we’re donating 20% of the proceeds from just this concert to charities all across London who help at risk lesbian and gay teens who have trouble with their home lives or like me or Brittany or Kurt or Santana trouble at school I mean I turned to alcohol for an answer but I can tell you the answer isn't at the bottom of a bottle you take a long hard look at yourself and then you make the changes that need to be made. Her name is Noelle  
I have a dream about her  
She rings my bell  
I got gym class in half an hour  
Oh, how she rocks  
In Keds and tube socks  
But she doesn't know who I am  
And she doesn't give a damn about me”

“'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me”

“Her boyfriend's a dick  
And he brings a gun to school  
And he'd simply kick  
My ass if he knew the truth  
He lives on my block  
And he drives an IROC  
But he doesn't know who I am  
And he doesn't give a damn about me”

“'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me”

“Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'  
Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'”

“Man, I feel like mold  
It's prom night and I am lonely  
Lo and behold  
She's walking over to me  
This must be fake  
My lip starts to shake  
How does she know who I am?  
And why does she give a damn about me”

“I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby  
Come with me Friday, don't say "maybe"  
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you”

“Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'  
Oh, yeah, dirtbag, no, she doesn't know what she's missin'”

“How about that for some rock and roll?” Josh says bowing

“Forget your troubles (Happy days)  
And just get happy (Are here again)  
You better chase all your blues away (The skies above are clear again)  
Shout Hallelujah (So let's sing a song)  
And just get happy (Of cheer again)  
(Happy times) Happy times  
(Happy nights) Happy nights  
Happy days are here again…”

“As you all probably know I play the drums and my esteemed boyfriend plays the guitar but what almost no one knows is that I can play the guitar so for this number Josh and I are switching roles he's playing the drums and I get to play the guitar.” Fynn says then Josh strikes the gong that had appeared behind the drum set

“Get your party gown  
Get your pigtail down  
Get your heart beatin' baby  
Got my timin' right  
Got my act all tight  
It's gotta be tonight my little  
Schoolbabe”

“Your momma says you don't  
And your Daddy says you won't  
And I'm boilin' up inside  
Ain't no way I'm gonna lose out this time”

“Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Lock your Daddy out of doors  
I don't need him nosing around  
Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Give me all your love tonight”

“You're such a dirty louse  
Go get outta my house  
That's all I ever get from your  
Family ties, in fact I don't think I ever heard  
A single little civil word  
From those guys  
But you know I don't give a light  
I'm gonna make out all right  
I've got a sweetheart hand  
To put a stop to all that  
Grousin' an' snipin'”

“Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Take your little brother swimmin'  
With a brick (that's all right)  
Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Or you ain't no friend of mine”

“Your Momma and your Daddy gonna  
Plague me til I die  
Why can't they understand I'm just a  
Peace lovin' guy”

“Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Get that big big big big big big Daddy out the doors  
Tie your Mother down  
Tie your Mother down  
Give me all your love tonight  
All your love tonight”

“Everybody's got a dream. This is mine.” Artie says before miraculous standing up only the New Directions and Artie knew that his trousers were lined with servos and hydraulics to make him dance

“S-S-S-S, A-A-A-A, F-F-F-F, E-E-E-E, T-T-T-T, Y-Y-Y-Y  
Safety dance!”

“We can dance if we want to  
We can leave your friends behind  
'Cause your friends don't dance  
And if they don't dance  
Well, they're no friends of mine  
I say, we can go where we want to  
A place where they will never find  
And we can act like we come from out of this world  
Leave the real one far behind  
And we can dance (Come see!)”

“We can dance if we want to  
We can leave your friends behind  
'Cause your friends don't dance  
And if they don't dance  
Well, they're no friends of mine  
I say, we can go where we want to  
A place where they will never find  
And we can act like we come from out of this world  
Leave the real one far behind  
And we can dance  
(We can dance, we can dance, everything's out of control)  
(We can dance, we can dance, we're doing it from wall to wall)”

“We can go when we want to  
The night is young and so am I  
And we can dress real neat  
From our hats to our feet  
And surprise 'em with a victory cry  
I say, we can act if we want to  
If we don't, nobody will  
And we can act real rude  
And totally removed  
And I can act like an imbecile”

“I say, we can dance, we can dance, everything's out of control (Out of control!)  
We can dance, we can dance, we're doing it from wall to wall (Wall to wall!)  
We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your hands (Look at your hands, yeah...)  
We can dance, we can dance, everybody's takin' the chance  
It's safety dance  
Well, it's safety dance  
Yeah, it's safety dance”

“We can dance if we want to  
We've got all your life and mine  
As long as we abuse it  
Never gonna lose it  
Everything'll work out right  
I say, we can dance if we want to  
We can leave your friends behind  
'Cause your friends don't dance  
And if they don't dance  
Well, they're are no friends of mine”

“We can dance, we can dance, everybody's takin' the chance  
Oh well, it's safety dance  
Oh yes, safety dance  
Oh well, it's safety dance  
Oh yes, safety dance  
Oh well, it's safety dance  
Oh, it's safety dance  
Oh, it's safety dance  
It's safety dance  
It's safety dance  
It's safety dance!”

“Now for my second song I need everyone to get on their feet.” Fynn says montioning for them to stand as the crowd does, Josh starts playing a rhythm on the drum kit. “Just follow the rhythm.” Josh says stamping both feet and then clapping. “Buddy you're a boy make a big noise  
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin' your can all over the place  
Singin'”

“We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you”

“Buddy you're a young man hard man  
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Wavin' your banner all over the place”

“We will we will rock you  
(Sing it out!)  
We will we will rock you”

“Buddy you're an old man poor man  
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day  
You got mud on your face  
Big disgrace  
Somebody better put you back into your place”

“We will we will rock you  
(Sing it!)  
We will we will rock you”

“(Everybody)”

“We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you”

[guitar solo]

“(Alright)”

Josh is stood on stage with a microphone and Brittany is sat on a stool with her acoustic guitar. “All right guys you guys know that the Beatles are incredibly related for this Glee Club. So without The Beatles none of us would be able to accept ourselves. So Here Comes The Sun.” Josh says as Fynn walks out on stage

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes”

“Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right”

“Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun  
It's all right  
It's all right.” Then Josh rolls the mic to one of the stage hands and gets down on one knee and pulls the ring box out of his back pocket. “Fynn Sargeant I love you. You’re the sun in the sky and you make wanna be a better man. So Fynn will you marry me?” He says opening the ring box

“Oh my god of course!” Fynn says putting the ring on and then kissing Josh.

“Well that went well.” Josh says in between kisses

“All right go on love birds.” Brittany says setting her guitar down and going to sit in the drum risers

Quinn walks on stage and sits in Brittanys lap. “You know whenever I’m sitting with you it’s like sitting in the lap of gods.” She says kissing Brittany

“Woah, woah, la-la-la,”

“Right everybody sing along.” Quinn says jumping off the drum risers and onto the stage

[Audience Cheering]

“It's so easy, but I can’t do it  
So risky, but I got to chance it  
It's so funny, there's nothing to laugh about  
My money, that’s all you want to talk about  
I can see what you want me to be  
But I'm no fool”

[Chorus: Brittany, Quinn & Audience]  
“It's in the lap of the Gods (Sing it)  
Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I'm no fool  
It’s in the lap of the Gods”

“Woah, woah, la-la-la, woah  
Woah, woah, la-la  
Wah wah ooh  
I’m no fool  
It's in the lap of the Gods”

[Audience Applause]

Mercedes  
“When I was a little girl, I had a rag doll  
Only doll I've ever owned  
Sam  
Now I love you just the way I loved that rag doll  
But only now my love has grown”

Mercedes  
“And it gets stronger in every way  
Both  
And it gets deeper, let me say  
And it gets higher, day by day”

“Do I love you, my oh my?  
River deep, mountain high, yeah yeah yeah  
If I lost you, would I cry?  
Oh, how I love you, baby, baby baby baby!”

Mercedes  
“I love you, baby, like a flower loves the spring  
Sam  
And I love you, baby, like the robin loves to sing  
Mercedes  
And I love you, baby, like a schoolboy loves his pet  
Both  
And I love you, baby, river deep, mountain high”

“Oh baby  
Oh baby  
Ohhh baby, ohhh yeah  
Yeah…”

“Do I love you, my oh my?  
River deep, mountain high, yeah yeah yeah  
If I lost you, would I cry?  
Oh, how I love you, baby, baby baby baby”  
“Oh Sammy. Do you hear the sound of all that applause for me? That really has the favourite part about this tour.” Mercedes asks

“Yeah me too. It gets me ready for when I fill stadiums and theatres all over the world once the smell comes back together.” Josh says

“The fans have spoken. I am the hottest person in the glee club.” Santana says

“Not so fast hot stuff.” Holly Holliday days walking on stage.

“Hello Miss Holliday.” Santana yells

“Hola.” She says

“Hey is anyone here in the mood for a little song. I know I am. Hit it.” Holly says

Holly (New Directions):  
“I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too"  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya  
Huh, now ain't that some shhh (Ain't that some shhh)  
And although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best  
With a "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)”

“Yeah, I'm sorry I can't afford a Ferrari  
But that don't mean I can't get you there  
I guess she's an Xbox and I'm more an Atari  
Mmh, but the way you play your game ain't fair  
I pity the fool that falls in love with you”

“(Oops, she's a gold digger)  
Well (Just thought you should know it)”

“Ooh, ooh  
I've got some news for you  
Yeah go run and tell your little girlfriend”

“I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too"  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya  
Now ain't that some shhh (Ain't that some shhh)  
Although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best  
With a "forget you" (Oh-oh-oh)”

Holly with New Directions (Santana):  
“I see you driving round town with the guy I love  
And I'm like "forget you" (Forget you, oh yeah) (New Directions: Oh-oh-oh)  
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough (Ooh)  
I'm like "forget you and forget him, too" (Oh, baby!)  
Saying if I was richer, I'd still be with ya (Yeah, you!)  
Huh, now ain't that some shhh (New Directions: Ain't that some shhh) (Ooh, ooh!)  
Although there's pain in my chest  
I still wish you the best (Wish you the best)  
With a "forget you" (You, ah-ah-ah) (New Directions: Oh-oh-oh, oh!)”

“Hey guys you remember this song?” Kurt asks. “Yeah, I'll tell you something  
I think you'll understand  
When I say that something  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand”

“Oh, please, say to me  
You'll let me be your man  
And, please, say to me  
You'll let me hold your hand  
Now let me hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand”

“And when I touch you, I feel happy inside  
It's such a feeling that my love  
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide…”

“Yeah, you got that something  
I think you'll understand  
When I feel that something  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand  
I wanna hold your hand”

Kurt:  
“It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M (M-M-M-M)  
Just put your paws up, 'Cause you were born this way baby”

Tina:  
“My mamma told me when I was young  
We are all born superstars  
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on  
In the glass of her boudoir”

Mercedes:  
"There's nothing wrong with lovin' who you are,"  
She said, "Cause he made you perfect, babe"  
So, hold your head up, girl”

Mercedes with Tina:  
“And you'll go far  
Listen to me when I say”

Mercedes with New Directions:  
“I'm beautiful in my way  
'Cause God makes no mistakes  
I'm on the right track  
Baby, I was born this way”

“Don't hide yourself in regret  
Just love yourself, and you're set  
I'm on the right track  
Baby, I was born this way (New Directions: Born this way)”

Kurt:  
“Don't be a drag, just be a queen”

Tina:  
“Don't be a drag, just be a queen”

Mercedes:  
“Don't be a drag, just be a queen”

Kurt:  
“Don't be! (Don't be, don't be, don't be)”

Tina (with New Directions):  
“Give yourself prudence  
And love your friends  
Subway kid, rejoice your truth  
(In the religion of the insecure  
I must be myself, respect my youth)”

Kurt (with New Directions):  
“Don't be a drag, just be a queen  
Whether you're broke or evergreen  
You're black, white, beige, chola descent  
(You're Lebanese, you're orient)  
Whether life's disabilities  
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased  
Rejoice, and love yourself today  
'Cause, baby, you were born this way”

Mercedes with Tina and New Directions:  
“No matter gay, straight, or bi  
Lesbian, transgendered life  
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born to survive  
No matter black, white or beige  
Chola or orient made  
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born to be brave”

“All right guys sadly it’s almost the end.” The audience groans. “I know it’s sad but we’ve got one more song for you guys. You know Santana tell me what’s harder being a loser or a popular girl.” Josh says leaning on Santana’s shoulder

“Oh being a loser is definitely easier. God being the popular girl was so hard.” Santana says

“You know I bet all the popular kids at school wanna be a loser like me and you. Cause they know no matter how much they hit us and talk to us and y’all they know they’re gonna be stuck in some crap dead end job where they get employee of the month will you and I are pop stars and rock and rollers. So I guess Karofsky and Azimio wanna be a Loser like Me.” Josh says picking his guitar up and begins playing a pop rock riff

“Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero  
But, hey, everyone you wanna be  
Probably started off like me  
You may say that I'm a freakshow (I don't care)  
But, hey, give me just a little time  
I bet you're gonna change your mind”

“All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way  
It ain't so hard to take, that's right  
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name  
And I'll just look away, that's right”

“Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up, I'm tunin' up to fade you out  
You wanna be  
You wanna be  
A loser like me  
A loser like me”

“Push me up against the locker  
And hey, all I do is shake it off  
I'll get you back when I'm your boss  
I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters  
'Cause hey, I could be a superstar  
I'll see you when you wash my car”

“Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth  
So everyone can hear  
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down  
Baby, I don't care  
Keep it up, I'm tunin' up to fade you out  
You wanna be  
You wanna be  
A loser like me (A loser like me)  
A loser like me (A loser like me)  
A loser like me”

“Thank you guys so much for coming out. I wanna thank Mr Shue for making all this happen and our parents for letting us do this massive tour and to you guys the fans because without you we’d just be 14 misfits working trying to get here. So thank you.” Rachel says

“To the people of my home town I hope we can rock you again some time. Thank you good night.” Josh says bowing out

In the Green Room

“You know I've gotta be honest I thought my knee was gonna go during the Elvis number but you know I didn't even notice it till my adrenaline has gone from my system.” Josh says

“Yeah honestly the Dublin wrist as Brittany calls it didn't sting at all I’m sure of that.” Fynn says ice back on his left wrist

“I still can't believe you broke your wrist drumming too hard.” Quinn says sipping her can of Coke

“Yeah me either.” Josh says rolling his wrist

“It was a good show. But Jesse would have said that your kisses were unprofessional Brittany.” Santana says sitting on her lap and kissing her everyone laughs at Santana's comment

“You know I’m gonna miss this, it's been an adventure.” Josh says

“I mean we’ve rocked out Britain, America and Europe it’s been a journey and it’s been a trial but I’ve enjoyed it.” Josh says

“I mean the last two year have been a journey. I mean we’ve all walked so many journeys, parenthood, new relationships, getting to Nationals it’s been an experience.” Rachel says

“Come on guys we’ve gotta get back to the hotel the plane leaves at 9:00 tomorrow morning.” Quinn says standing up and picking up her jacket

“Come on Quinn one last song before this is all over.” Josh says

“Why not.” Quinn says sitting back down

“Alabama, Arkansas,  
I do love my Ma and Pa  
Not the way that I do love you”

“Well, holy moly me oh my  
You’re the apple of my eye  
Girl, I've never loved one like you”

“Man, oh, man, you're my best friend  
I scream it to the nothingness  
There ain't nothing that I need  
Well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie  
Chocolate candy, my oh my  
Ain't nothing please me more than you”

“Home, let me come home  
Home is wherever I'm with you  
Home, let me come home  
Home is wherever I'm with you”

“La la la la  
Take me home  
Daddy, I'm coming home”

Everyone starts whistling a tune along with the guitar chords

“I'll follow you into the park,  
Through the jungle, through the dark  
Girl, I've never loved one like you”

“Moats and boats, and waterfalls,  
Alleyways, and payphone calls  
I been everywhere with you (that's true)”

“Laugh until we think we'll die,  
Barefoot on a summer night  
Never could be sweeter than with you”

“And in the streets we're running free,  
Like it's only you and me,  
Geez, you're something to see.”

“Home, let me come home  
Home is wherever I'm with you  
Home, let me come home  
Home is wherever I'm with you”

“Home, let me come home,  
Home is wherever I'm with you  
Home, let me come home,  
Home is when I’m alone with you”

“Alabama, Arkansas,  
I do love my Ma and Pa  
Moats and boats, and waterfalls,  
Home is when I'm alone with you!”

The next day 

The plane touched down in Columbus airport and they reached baggage claim and Josh and Brittany picked up their guitar cases 

Then they walked out into the main floor of the airport and then Brittany heard a familiar voice. “Mama!” The voice called out again. “Mama Uncle Josh!” Beth called again as she came running across the floor of the airport at Brittany she put down her cases as the 1 year old came barrelling at her almost tackling her to the ground

“Hey sweetie.” Brittany says

“Hey mama. Where is mami and mommy and mom?” The little blonde girl asked Brittany. “And where’s Uncle Fynn?” The blonde girl asked the tall brown haired boy.

“Uncle Fynn is trying to find his case, he can’t find it. But you know uncle Fynn he can’t find anything can he?” Josh says bending down to her level the blonde girl giggles at this

“I’m really offended at what you're saying about me to our niece.” Fynn says lightly tapping his drum sticks of the back of Josh's head

Then Mr Shue called them all over

“Did you see us on the telly sweetheart?” Rachel says picking up Beth and putting her on her hip

“Yes I did. Why was mama singing about ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ to you and mami and mommy?” Beth asks

“That’s a very special song to me and your moms but you're a bit too young for that song at the moment sweetheart.” Rachel says

“Let’s go home. I’m shattered.” Santana says

“Yeah I agree.” Quinn says rubbing her eyes

“I'm so proud of you guys. You guys rocked all across America, Europe and London you guys have earned this.” Mr Shue says producing 15 tickets and a passport

“Mr Shue there are 15 tickets here? And did you get Beth a passport?” Quinn says looking up from the ticket

“That's because you're all going to Cape Verde for two weeks all inclusive and Beth's coming with you and don't worry your parents packed you all a bag of beach stuff now go you don't wanna miss your flight.” Mr Shue says

“Did you hear that sweetie? We're going on holiday with all your aunties and uncles all together and it's gonna be the best of our lives.” Santana says picking the small girl out of Rachel's hands and putting her on her shoulder

“Yay holiday!” The little girl squeals from on top of Santana’s shoulder

“Come on gotta hurry.” Rachel says hurrying towards security.

“I’ll catch you guys up Josh and I are gonna give our guitars to Mr Shue.” Brittany says walking back to Mr Shue. “Mr Shue, can you drop off our guitars?” Brittany asks

“Yeah of course.” He says taking both case from them

“Thank you now I have to catch up with my family and he has to catch up with his boyfriend sorry fiancée.” Brittany says

“Yeah I really do plus I need to apologise for what I said about Fynn.” Josh says

They both sprint across the floor and run into Fynn, Santana, Quinn, Rachel and Beth. “Guys I thought I told you to go get breakfast.” Brittany says

“Yeah but off we went without you two you freak out as soon as you go to security only just make the plane and be starving until the in flight meal at lunch time.” Fynn says

“Mom Uncle Josh Uncle Fynn is right.” Beth says

“Alright then let’s go to the beach.” Santana says turning and walking towards the security checkpoint

On the plane.

“Mami I’m bored.” Beth says looking up at Santana

“You really are Brittanys daughter. Try to get some sleep so you’re not tired when we get there okay?” Santana says looking into the little blonde girls eyes

“Okay mami.” Beth says laying her head on Santana’s lap

“Sweet dreams Mi amor.” Santana says kissing the top of the head

At Cape Verde

“Babe I have no idea what bag my mom will have sent for both of us.” Quinn says 

“Then I guess we’ll have to figure it out. I mean your mom’ll have left us some way to tell which is mine yours and Beths.” Brittany says

“Or you could just get Beth to tell you.” Santana says leading the little toddler by the hand

“Sweetie, which suitcase did granny send for me, you and mama?” Quinn asks bending down to eye level with the little girl

“Two big red ones with stickers on and my big green suitcase with a picture of Everest from Paw Patrol.” Beth says

Brittany immediately spots all three cases and grabs them. “You guys ready to get the rental?” They walk out to the car and see an old beater you know I’ve got the perfect song right now.” Brittany says

“I’m thinking exactly what you are.” Rachel says

“I’ll be Danny Zuko you be Kincky.” Brittany says

“Deal.” Rachel says

[Brittany:]  
“Why this car is automatic  
It's systematic  
It's hydromatic  
Why it's grease lightning ([Rachel:] Grease lightning)  
We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads  
oh yeah”

[Rachel:]  
“Keep talking whoa keep talking”

[Brittany:]  
“A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah”

[Rachel:]  
“I'll get the money I'll kill to get the money”

[Brittany:]  
“With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door  
You know that ain't no crap we'll be getting lots of that  
In Grease Lightning”

[All the Girls:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany (All the Girls):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[All the Girls:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Brittany:]  
“We'll get some purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins  
oh yeah  
A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins  
oh yeah  
With new pistons, plugs, and shocks I can get off my rocks  
You know that I ain't bragging she's a real honey wagon  
Grease lightning”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lighting you're coasting through the heat lap trial”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany (All the Girls):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[All the Girls:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany:]  
“Go grease lighting you're coasting through the hit lap trial”

[All the Girls:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Brittany (All the Girls):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[All the Girls:]  
“Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning”

[Brittany:]  
“Yeah!”

They start the engine and pull out of the car park they arrive at the hotel and as soon as they’ve unpacked and put a 2 inch layer of sun cream on Beth they all walk down to the pool

“First thing I need is a drink and then imma find Josh and swim some laps in the pool.” Brittany says

“All right, well take Beth with you. She likes spending time with Josh and Fynn.” Quinn says

“Come on baby.” Brittany offers her hand to the young girl. “Let’s go see Fynn and Josh.” She says and the young girl comes running over 

“There you two are.” Fynn says over the top of his sunglasses.

“He’s drinking mocktails at the bar isn’t he?” Brittany asks

“Yep.” Fynn says pushing his sunglasses up his nose

“Watch for Beth for me?” Brittany says pulling her her own sunglasses out of her swimming trunks and slipping on her face

“Hey man reliving your old life of a teenage alcoholic?” Brittany asks

“Yeah you know what I don’t miss the alcohol.” Joys says. “I’ll take two cokes.” Josh says to the bartender

“Hey man I’m really proud of you for what you did you took the first step and now you’re in a better place and you’re getting married, man.” Brittany says throwing her arm over his shoulder

“I gotta find Fynn.” Josh says pushing one of the cokes into her hand

“I’m gonna get Beth and go find the girls.” Brittany says

That night

“Mama, I no go night night I not tired.” Beth says from her bed

“All right how about song then sweetie?” Brittany says

“Hey Jude!” Beth shouts

“Okay sweetie. Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better

“Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
You were made to go out and get her  
The minute you let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better”

“And anytime you feel the pain  
Hey Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
For well you know that it's a fool  
Who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder”

“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

“Hey Jude, don't let me down  
You have found her, now go and get her (Let it out and let it in)  
Remember (Hey Jude) to let her into your heart”

“Then you can start to make it better”

“So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin  
You're waiting for someone to perform with  
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do  
The movement you need is on your shoulder”

“Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah”

“Yeah”

“Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude, hey Jude Aw aw!)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (Wooh! Nah, nah, nah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah (Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Yeah, you know you can make it Jude, Jude you're not gonna break it, yeah!)  
Nah nah nah (Don't make it bad, Jude)  
Nah nah nah nah, (Take a sad song and make it better)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Jude, hey Jude, yeah, ha, ha!)  
Nah nah nah (Wooh! Jude) nah nah nah nah, (Yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Hey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!)  
Nah nah nah (Hey, yeah) nah nah nah nah (Hey, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah, hey Jude (Now Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, yeah!)  
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, (Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah)  
Nah nah nah nah”

“Hey Jude.” As Brittany finishes singing she sound asleep. “Night night sweetie.” Brittany says flicking off the light

Santana standing in the doorway. “Come to bed.” She says 

“Okay.” She says pulling off her shorts and t-shirt and climbing into bed in her boxers and bra

In the airport

“I no wanna go home mami.” Beth says grumbling 

“But we have to mi amor.” Santana says


End file.
